Patti Stanger to Farrah Abraham: EVERYONE Has Seen Your Vagina!

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Farrah Abraham has been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Farrah Abraham Up Close and Personal

She's tried porn sets, strip clubs, reality TV ... You know, all the usual spots.

We don't know why she has such a tough time.

After all, Farrah's just looking for whatever single young woman wants:

A guy who will accept a plastic mold of her butthole as a birthday present. 

A man she can force to bond with her daughter without having him look like he's considering doing a tuck-and-roll on the freeway.

And most of all, a guy who's really, really rich so she can stop launching random-ass business ventures like an online furniture store.

You may think that Farrah is asking a lot and seems to have exhausted her options.

Fortunately, Patti Stanger is still a thing.

Farrah will appear on Patti's Million Dollar Matchmaker on Friday, and we're guessing she's not thrilled about the trailer for the episode:

Right off the bat, Farrah is dubbed Patti's "biggest challenge yet" and "a Teen Mom turned porn star."

(Weren't you people listening all those times when she explained the difference between a sex tape and a porn?! Gawd!)

Then, with the cameras still rolling Farrah does what she does best (get your mind out of the gutter!):

Yes, she cries.

It's pretty much Farrah's number one way of getting what she wants (Okay, it's her number two way of getting what she wants.), and amazingly, all these tough-as-nails reality hosts fall for it!

Will Patti become the latest to fall prey to Farrah's crocodile tears?

You can find out Friday, or you can just believe us when we say yes. Yes, she will.

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Farrah Abraham Biography

Farrah Abraham is the star of Teen Mom and the mother of Sophia Laurent Abraham. Sophia's father (Derek Underwood) was killed in a car... More »
Full Name
Farrah Abraham

Farrah Abraham Quotes

Loosing [sic] your teeth should be special, I like to add passion and something special to everything ... These years are flying bye [sic] and soon $600 won’t be surprising to my daughter and the tooth fairy will just be imaginary and made up. So $600 for one tooth is a great addition to her college fund and let’s [SIC] her have a big surprise. You’re only a kid once! - On giving her six-year-old $600 for a lost tooth

[On her DUI arrest] I did not endanger anyone's life.