Gwyneth Paltrow: People Hate Me More Than CHRIS BROWN?!

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Maybe it's the straight-faced recommendation that you purchase a $15,000 vibrator.

Gwyneth Paltrow: Goop mrkt Grand Opening Event at The Shops at Columbus Circle

Maybe it's her contribution of the term "conscious uncoupling" to the Dictionary of New Age-y Hollywood Bullsh-t.

Or maybe it's just her smug insistence that she's a self-made woman who cobbled a career together with no help from anyone - even though her father was a high-powered producer, her mother is a famous actress, and her godfather is Steven freakin' Spielberg.

Whatever the reason, people really, really, really don't like Gwyneth Paltrow.

To us, that's about as mysterious as the fact that people prefer chocolate over kale chips,  but apparently the Goopster herself is shocked - shocked! - that the average American wouldn't spit if she were on fire.

Asked about the fact that she took the number one spot in a 2013 Star magazine "most hated celebrities" poll, Gwinnie griped that she was just being "authentic self" and totes grew up super poor, you guys.

You almost have to admire her for non-ironically demonstrating the privileged lack of self-awareness that makes her so unlikable while expressing her confusion about why she's so universally despised.

This interview is like a performance art piece:

“First of all I was like, ‘I’m the most hated celebrity?’ More than, like, Chris Brown? What did I do?" sayeth the mother of Apple, Moses and Hadron Collider. (We may have made that last one up.)

"All I can do is be my authentic self, but I think there are things about me that make people draw conclusions. For example, there is the perception that I grew up very wealthy and that I was given, you know, that I was sort of raised with a silver spoon in my mouth, which inspires a lot of resentment.”

We don't even know what to say, so we'll let this Kim Kardashian GIF do the talking:

Kim Kardashian Eye Roll

Seriously, though, it's hilarious that Gwyneth blames the public's perception of her on the fact that the plebes mistakenly believe she grew up with a Rolls Royce in her driveway, when really it was just four BMWs.

If she just once dropped the BS and said, "Yeah, I grew up with privileges most people only dream about; I'm crazy pretentious at times, and I cheated on the food stamp challenge," maybe people wouldn't rather spend a weekend locked in a closet with Kanye and a coked-up Charlie Sheen than sit through one of her movies.

Come to think of it, does she still make movies? 

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Gwyneth Paltrow Biography

British Vogue Cover
Gwyneth Paltrow is an American actress. We are happy to report that her head has been reattached since the movie, Seven, and now she... More »
Full Name
Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow Quotes

I've learned more about myself being married than anything else. I hate to say, "We've got it worked out," because you never know what's going to happen, but we laugh, we're good friends, we like to do the same stuff.

Gwyneth Paltrow

It's hard being married. You go through great times, you go through terrible times. We're the same as any couple.

Gwyneth Paltrow