Jared Fogle is going to have to keep paying inmates to protect him in prison.
Because the former Subway spokesperson isn't going anywhere any time soon.
Fogle had filed documents with the U.S. Court of Appeals to shorten his prison stay, having been sentenced last November to 15 months behind bars.
That the punishment was too harsh because he isn’t that into child pornography.
It wasn’t as though he was going around distributing dirty photos and videos of young kids or anything.
Instead, Fogle argues, he merely showed one child porn video to one person he was dating, and he did so while they were in a hotel room.
(We're not going to bother speculating what kind of relationship this was because... EWWWW.)
However, the U.S. Court of Appeals is not run by Judge Aaron Persky.
It has determined that one act of child pornography is enough to warrant Fogle's original sentence, denying his attempt to lighten his punishment.
They also shot down his claim that he merely fantasized and thought about kids in sexual situation (again: EWWWWW) and that one should not be sent to jail for what is going on in one's mind.
But the judges disagreed again with this notion.
They stated the court was correct at the trial when it considered his "obsession with child pornography and having sex with minors."
It's actually a somewhat interesting topic to debate, whether someone ought to be legally punished without having taken too many illegal actions.
But does anyone really want to defend an individual who fantasizes about child pornography and has evidence of it on his computer?
Neither do we.