This election year has been witness to some of the most ridiculous, fact-free rhetoric in the history of presidential politics, but just when you thought it couldn't get any more ridiculous than the claim that Trump Tower has the nation's best taco bowls, along comes Alex Jones:
For the uninitiated, Jones is a syndicated radio show host, and professional nutjob who's spent several years appealing to the tinfoil-hat crowd with theories about the government faking the moon landing and staging the Sandy Hook massacre as an excuse to steal everyone's guns.
His latest theory has to do with the death of comedian Joan Rivers who passed away in 2014 during a surgical procedure.
“Don’t forget, the famous comedienne Joan Rivers said, ‘Of course everyone knows she’s a tranny.’ She’s dead serious, ‘She’s a man,’ Jones says in the clip above.
"Deader than a doornail in a routine operation where basically she had fire poured down her throat and was a fire-breathing goblin. Dead on arrival. Shoot your mouth off, honey, you will die.
“I really think — her daughters don’t look like her — I really think this is some weird hoax they did again,” he said, “just like he didn’t get sworn in on the Bible, it was the Quran.
"All this weirdness, I mean, I used to laugh at this stuff, but man, it’s all about rubbing our noses in it."
Yes, Jones really thinks the comedy legend's goal wasn't to mock everyone in equal measure to expose Michelle as a man. He goes on:
"I think it’s all an arranged marriage, it’s all completely fake and it’s this big sick joke because he’s obsessed with transgender, just like some weird cult or something. I think Michelle Obama is a man. I really do. I really do. I believe it.”
He goes on to claim that it's common knowledge that Michelle is a man, and that President Obama frequently refers to her by her birth name, "Michael."
Then he rants about Bono for a little bit and calls George Clooney a "maggot."
It's impossible to talk about Jones without sounding like you're joking, but that's really how the clip above plays out.
We'd like to play by Jones' rules and claim that he's clearly a 1,000-year-old lizard person who came to Earth in order to help Ted Cruz's dad assassinate JFK, but we just can't bring ourselves to stoop that low.
Although feel free to spread that around social media if you're so inclined.