Audrey Roloff: Little People Star Likens Marriage to War, Doles Out INSANE Advice on Sex

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If you're married, you've basically committed yourself to a lifelong war, says Audrey Roloff, star of Little People, Big World.

Audrey Roloff

And that's not the only bananas thing she says in a controversial blog post published yesterday.

"Every day, your marriage enters a battlefield," writes the Christian reality star.

"What are you doing to protect your marriage against the dangers of, porn, workaholism, worry, pride, stress, fear, loss, addiction, comparison, social media, emotional cheating, that girl at the gym, in-laws, hormones, or idolizing your kids?"

She then added, in large, bold font:

"To win a war, you have to know you’re in one."

Kay.

She goes on to dole out advice (why is she qualified?) on how to protect your marriage, and eventually brings up sex.

To describe the physical union between a husband and wife, she borrows a Bible passage from 1 Corinthians 7:4.

"For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does.”

Sooo, I own your body and you own mine? Wait, who's moving my arm?

She tries to explain:

"Our bodies are no longer our own, we are now one."

Wow. That's like, deep stuff and stuff, man. Wow.

Finally, she sums it up with a statement that could've just stood on its own without all the other mystical teachings.

"We should desire to sexually please our spouse regularly. So get naked;)"

Totally. That makes sense. Sex is important, for sure. But every now and then someone's going to have a headache or really bad gas or something and it just ain't gonna happen.

But, hey, if our bodies are "one," both parties would get that. Right?

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