As you've probably heard former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle is currently serving a 15-year prison sentence.
Fogle's crimes are disgusting in nature, so we won't be discussing them here, because we want to make fun of him without getting all depressed first.
Click on the link above if you feel the need to go there, but be warned - it'll probably totally ruin five-dollar footlongs for you for life.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Fogle's wife left him after an investigation uncovered mountains of evidence that he's a nasty pedo-predator.
So now the 38-year-old is newly single and...well, not so much ready to mingle, since he'll be in the clink til 2032. but that's not stopping him from looking for a little female companionship.
In Touch has obtained a copy of a letter that Fogle wrote to a female friend whom he reportedly hadn't spoken to in several years.
In the letter (which is peppered with smiley faces and other reminders that Jared is a creepy weirdo), Fogle claims he's innocent and was framed by the director of his
“It has been a very hard nine months for me. I made a couple of mistakes but nothing like the media reports have said. They are making me into some sort of monster which is absolutely not true.”
“I’m currently appealing my prison sentence and am hoping for the best with it. Bottom line, my director of my foundation and friend did some bad stuff and tried to throw me under the bus with him.”
Not surprisingly, Fogle also requests that the woman send him photos.
And we were just starting to feel bad for him for getting his ass kicked in prison.
Actually, no - no we weren't.