Teen Mom 2 Season Premiere Recap: You Have Felonies!

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MTV's Teen Mom 2 is back for an all new season, and for Chelsea, Leah, Jenelle and Kailyn, the drama was off the proverbial chain.

Or in the case of Jenelle, perhaps the literal one. Because chains. We're saying she gets locked up a lot. Was this one of those weeks?!

She certainly came close. Not only were Jenelle Evans and Nathan Griffith barely on speaking terms, but when they did talk last night?

"You can't even get a job because you're a felon! You have felonies!"

He said that to her, but when it could've been the other way around, you know these two are one hot mess of a couple to say the least.

Jenelle, to be fair, was not a felon when Teen Mom 2 Season 7 Episode 1 was filmed, nor is she now. But her past is well-documented.

Evans was facing charges for fighting Nathan's girlfriend and looking at 30 days in jail. As such, she wasn't able to fight for custody. 

Not of Kai, her son with Nathan. Of Jace, her son by Andrew Lewis.

The Jenelle Evans arrest video is incriminating, but she claims it was in self-defense. The alleged victim had a different story, however. 

"I was just sitting in the truck - just out of nowhere, I just got smashed in my head and covered in ice water," Jessica Henry recalled.

"You just can't have Kaiser around that," she told Nathan. "I hate saying it, if he's more safe with you, I'd like to help build your case."

As for Jenelle ... she was just bummed about custody, man.

"I can't do anything until this charge is dropped because it's a violent charge. I'm so f--king mad because it scars me for life, dude."

"I've worked so hard to get my life together, and now it's like, if I have this charge, I don't think I'll ever get a job, dude."

Dude.

Elsewhere, Chelsea Houska's daughter Aubree started kindergarten, and Adam Lind actually showed up for the big day. Impressed?

"Obviously, I think it's good when he shows up for stuff, but I'm not like, 'Whoop-di-doo, you're the best dad ever,' because that would be a lie."

Truth, Chelsea. Truth. Preach, girl.

Clearly filmed before that graphic Adam Lind sex photo ruined his plans to seek joint custody, he asked Chelsea if she'd be open to that.

She wasn't having it then. Or now.

"I think we should give [Aubree] some time to get used to [school] before we even think about anything," Chelsea said. "I'll never trust him."

"I will always think he's a pile."

Speaking of custody battles, Leah Messer and her first former husband, Corey Simms, were in the midst of an all-timer, and it showed.

The West Virginia mom was clearly having hard time getting her kids to school on time, which Corey had been critical about previously.

If you watch Teen Mom 2 online, you know these two have butted heads over Leah Messer's parenting quite often, and will do so again.

We just want to see T.R. Dues on the show and finally gain some insight into exactly what's going on with that "secret" relationship.

Finally, Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin's marriage was on shaky ground, which seems like it's the case more often than not, sadly.

Friction between Javi and Kailyn's original baby daddy, Jo Rivera, and his pregnant girlfriend, Vee Torres, were not helping matters.

Javi ended up ditching a family portrait photo shoot because Jo and Vee were there, then later, refused to join the group for dinner.

Kailyn assured Jo that Javi isn't hating on him personally, but that the issue is their own marriage and him acting out as a result of that.

Here's hoping they can turn it around.

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