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Is Kourtney Kardashian pregnant with Justin Bieber’s baby?

Say it ain’t so! No, seriously, for the love of all things holy, please say it ain’t so and will never be so. A new report hints that it is, however …

Kourtney Kardashian in lace top
Justin Bieber Car Sex?

Friends of the eldest Kardashian sister, quoted by Hollywood Life, say the mother of three is expecting another baby with the pop singer.

Confirmed? Hardly. But Kourtney, 36, and Justin, 22, have been linked together numerous times since she split with Scott Disick last year.

Reports of Bieber dating Kourtney Kardashian (or at least sexing her up) gained traction this winter when he posted the car sex pic above.

Since then, the chatter has shown no signs of slowing down.

What was once a "whirlwind club romance" has escalated as they’ve spent more and more time together. Apparently, clothing is optional.

Again, we stress that sources claiming Kourt is pregnant doesn’t mean she has confirmed it. Neither she nor Bieber have gone on record.

Nor does it mean that if she were pregnant, that it’s Justin’s.

Or maybe it does. "It would have to be a Bieber baby,” one insider says, because quite simply, "the math is pretty clear" on the subject.

Chris Reda has also been linked romantically to the older sister of Kim, Khloe, Rob, Kylie and Kendall, but it sounds like he’s a non-factor.

At least when it comes to the intimate window in question.

“Kourtney’s already admitted to her friends that she and Justin have been intimate, and she hasn’t been with Scott in a longtime, so …"

Try to projectile vomit away from the computer or phone.

Another insider adds that Justin is pretty damn psyched to be father and "is telling friends that the Kardashians are already like family.”

See previous vomiting instructions. And that’s not all.

The two have even been going to church together, says the source. At least when they’re not in bed, where Bieber is a beast. Groan.

“Kourtney has raved, ‘The sex is really good and he makes me feel young again.’ She like a giggling schoolgirl in love,” says the sleuth.

It may be a fling, but so be it, since "Kourtney is tired of being the boring, responsible Kardashian. Justin is helping her come out of her shell."

"That is why they are spending more time together."

"She likes all the action around him. Kourtney wants to be young and free again like her younger sisters and Justin does that for her.”

We don’t even know what to say at this point.

All we can say for an established fact is that Kourtney has really been showing Scott Disick what he’s missing since they parted ways.

Bieber’s throwing major shade at Disick, too.