No one may have tuned in for Bravo's ridiculous Teresa Giudice prison special over last weekend, but that isn't stopping the inmate from making further plans to profit off her incarceration.
We can now confirm that Giudice is writing a book. We'll give everyone a few minutes to go vomit profusely...
The Real Housewives of New Jersey cast member was convicted of financial fraud last year and sentenced to 15 months at a federal penitentiary in Danbury, Connecticut.
She is scheduled to be released on December 23, after which her conniving husband, Joe, will begin his 43-month sentence.
And then, about six weeks later, People Magazine reports that Giudice will release “Turning the Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again.”
(Get it?!? Turning the Tables? Because Giudice is famous for flipping over tables in scripted anger on her Bravo reality show.)
The memoir will hit bookstores on February 9, 2016, chronicling Giudice's journey, from the good/illegal times to the much harder times.
"While we've all watched Teresa's life unfold on television, Turning the Tables will mark the first time we will hear all of Teresa's incredible life story, including her recent stint in prison," publisher Jennifer Bergstrom tells People.
Teresa and Joe really suck as human beings. They are also the parents of four daughters: Gia, 14, Gabriella, 10, Milania, 9, and Audriana, 6.
Despite having been locked up for months, Giudice has managed to stay in the news via tabloid photoshoots; family interviews; and even negotiations for her return to The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Oh, yes, she'll be returning alright. Likely with a hefty raise.
Have we mentioned yet how much Teresa Giudice sucks as a human being?