Last night's Democratic primary debate may be dominating today's headlines, but the world recently learned of a political showdown that makes Bernie vs. Hillary look like Lincoln Chafee vs. the voices in his head telling him he's not good enough.
You may remember that Snooki and Chris Christie squared off in 2013 at a fundraiser for victims of Hurricane Sandy.
Apparently, the corpulent governor felt that Snooks and her fist-pumping crew were giving the Garden State a bad name and causing tourists to flee the way that other Old Country Buffet patrons flee when Christie stomps through the door.
Snooki details the awkward encounter in her new book, in a chapter hilariously entitled "Chris Christie Tried to Eat Me."
“He outweighs me by a thousand pounds, and he learned really low and got up in my face, trying to scare me,” Snooki writes. “I didn’t back down, though. I said ‘Why are you standing so close?'”
“I introduced myself and said, ‘I hope you can start to like us.' He leaned in close and told me why he doesn’t. His expression was full of hate.”
Obviously, Christie didn't actually try to eat Snooki, or she would've felt the warm drizzle of meat tenderizer being poured over her head as the governor's pupils turned into racks of ribs.
In all seriousness, though, it's sad that these two couldn't get along as they seem to have so much in common.
We hope they get a chance to meet again and discuss more issues they can both agree on - like boning.
Snooki could tell a TMI tale about how she lost her virginity, Christie could talk about "pulling out" and everyone within earshot could erupt with projectile vomit like an extra from that pie-eating contest scene in Stand By Me.
What a beautiful day that would he.