Last month, Kylie Jenner launched a new app and website for her most hardcore fans.
Yes, in case you somehow felt that Kylie doesn't have enough of a web presence already, you can now pay actual money to learn the priceless answer to such questions as "How does Kylie make her boobs look bigger?
(It's a push-up bra. We just saved you $2.99/month.)
Amazingly, Kylie's app is tremendously successful. In fact Kylie is outselling her sisters (who also launched subscription services) by a wide margin.
So what does she do to make her fans feel like they're getting their money's worth? Why she talks about her butt and her first boyfriend, of course!
First Kylie addressed those persistent butt-padding rumors with the photo above.
Apparently, the shot was taken on a day when some thought that Kylie's ass looked less than Kardashian-esque, so she was all, "Psssht...I had so much back you could see it from the front."
Then she posted the pic on Instagram, so again, no need to pay for the app.
However, app subscribers were treated to an awkward video segment in which Kylie called up the dude who gave her first kiss in fourth grade.
At first, dude insisted that Kylie had the wrong guy (lolz!), but then he admitted that he was indeed her first boo.
Not the most compelling drama, but at least you app subscribers are getting something, right?
Maybe Tyga will get pissed that Kylie is calling up her exes and she'll post a video of their fight on the app. Then we might consider subscribing.