It's been almost four months since we first learned that Farrah Abraham is dating Simon Saran and remarkably, they're still going strong.
Or perhaps we should say, they were going strong.
Farrah has a way of messing up the relationships in her life by blurting out whatever nonsense pops into her head while talking to the press, and we're guessing Simon won't be too pleased to find out that she talked about his masturbation habits during a recent interview.
"He has my sex toys!" Farrah excitedly told Radar Online. You may remember that Farrah's sax toys include molds of her vagina, hand, and what she refers to as her "backdoor."
She says that she and Simon are in a long-distance relationship (She lives in Austin; he's in San Diego.), snd that the "Hand Stroker" and other such peg-in-hole devices help Simon to, um...pass the time when they're apart.
Of course, in addition to being an orifice model, Farrah is a porn star so one can't help but wonder if Simon has checked out her film debut.
"He does not have my sex tape!" Farrah says. "He watches guy comedies!"
Hmmm...It seems Farrah's not totally clear on how porn works. For most guys, if they have their mind made up to watch porn, they're not gonna be distracted when they stumble across a censored version of the Hangover 3 on Comedy Central.
Porn and comedy meet different needs, Farrah. You should know that; you've had plenty of experience with both. Your career centers around porn, but your private life is a comedy. Maybe you should write that a Post-It or something, so you don't forget.
Speaking of comedy, Farrah says Simon will appear on Teen Mom OG and we can look forward to seeing the two of them fight.
"If there is any bickering, it's just because we're getting to know each other," says Farrah.
Riiiiight. We all know the first few weeks of a relationship are the toughest. Sigh. It's tough to admit, but we kinds can't wait for another full season of nonsensical Farrah-isms.