In a special, Sunday night, THREE-hour installment of The Bachelor, Chris Soules looked to plow his field of prospective farmers' wives down to four.
Why did we need the first hour of Chris rehashing all the nonsense with Kelsey Poe et al, and Andi Dorfman sat down in tears with host Chris Harrison?
Who knows, but he did. Then he got down to business in another crazy two hours, bringing SIX women back to his native Iowa before hometown dates.
Hey, why go on a hometown date with someone who's not into you, right?
See The Bachelor spoilers if you want to learn who will win the final rose (allegedly), then continue on for our The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 8 recap:
When The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 8 finally got going, Chris returned from dispatching Kelsey and Ashley, and promptly cut Megan loose as well.
In other news, Megan was still on the show. Who knew?
All the women felt bad for Carly, including Carly, knowing she would also be cut at the rose ceremony. But then Chris Soules canceled the rose ceremony!
Instead, he announced that they're all goin' to Iowa!
No one got a better feel for Chris' life there than Jade Roper, who was invited for an exclusive tour of Arlington and all that his small town has to offer.
Read: Nothing. Like literally nothing. The place is so small, the oft-used "small town" doesn't even really begin to describe it. It's culture shock on TV.
Imagine being in Jade's position. How did she react?
Chris was proud of where he came from but insecure about it when it comes to bringing women he met on The Bachelor there, and Jade knows this.
"Don't feel bad about where you love to be. It is enough. Be proud of it," Jade says after watching his high school football game ... and kissing in its hallways.
Her prospects look awfully good at the start, but her Playboy past is hanging over her head - and triggering about 20 million Google searches this week.
"This could end my relationship with him," Jade said, opening up to Carly about the fact that she did nude modeling for the magazine back in the day.
"I feel like it's something I need to be honest with him about because I want him to find out from me first," the Nebraska native added, and she's right.
What she's not necessarily right about is that it was a "mistake."
Sure, she can feel that it was personally, and likely regrets it, but if Chris judges her over something like that (he won't), he doesn't deserve her anyway.
While Chris and Whitney Bischoff had a one-on-one date in Des Moines, the other four girls (sans Jade) road tripped it to Arlington. They just had to see it.
They blinked and nearly missed it.
Britt said that she couldn't imagine living there, which she pretty much told Chris after they revealed their impromptu trip, but tried to put a nice spin on it.
However, Carly was insistent that Britt was lying to Chris and decided to rat her out, which may speak more to Carly's own insecurities than Britt's.
Asking Britt what she thought about Arlington, Chris attempted to draw it out of her, but she was either a really good liar or more fair about it than Carly said.
"There was definitely a shock factor," Britt said. "But you're not choosing the town like you are choosing the lifestyle. It's part of you, and we're choosing you."
She then added that she wants to be a mom no matter where she lives, and they made out a lot. So things looked good for Britt ... for the time being.
Kaitlyn Bristowe, meanwhile, was feeling insecure about her bond with Chris, and opened up about this, only to receive a group date rose as assurance!
This sent Britt - already slowly becoming unglued over the fact that these other women were still in her field of vision - over the edge. It was painful.
The girls think she's going home after the epic meltdown she has. Are they right?
We'll find out this evening when this TWO-NIGHT EVENT continues!