The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 5 Recap: Britt Nilsson Does Not Shower, Kelsey Poe Loses Her Mind

by at .  Updated at .

There's one (or more) on every season of The Bachelor(ette). Somehow, some way, somebody is always rumored to be in this for the wrong reasons.

That person thus becomes the enemy of the other competitors, and all hell breaks loose on the show. Who is it this year, and what was the fallout?

Moreover, who revealed themselves to be more than a little unhinged in the Land of Enchantment as Chris Soules' "journey" continued last night?

Follow the link for The Bachelor spoilers if you want to know who makes it all the way to the finish line (allegedly). Then proceed for this week's recap ...

When The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 5 got underway, Carly and Chris were being coached by a love guru slash sex guru in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

It was incredibly awkward, especially for a televised first date.

She got a rose, at least (the least he could do after bending her over, albeit clothed, and "exploring" her on TV) and we tried to forget we saw that date.

On to the white water rafting group excursion!

Jade Roper fell in the water, and then revealed that she very easily gets hypothermia in her hands and feet and needed Chris to warm them up, fast.

En route to a party with the group, the already-eliminated Jordan showed up out of nowhere in the hotel lobby to ask Chris for a second chance.

We forgot who she was until Chris mentioned she was the drunk girl he sent home weeks ago (NOTE: watch The Bachelor online more closely next time).

Prince Farming agreed to let her stay, the other girls were super pissed, Whitney Bischoff got the rose ... and Jordan went home again. Moving on.

On Britt Nilsson's one-on-one date, we learned:

  • She hasn't showered in weeks
  • She puts makeup on before she sleeps
  • She wants "a hundred" kids with Chris Soules
  • He pretty much most likely had sex with her after that

Later, Britt tells the girls she and Chris "took a nap." Gotta love it. Oh, and they claim she has said she does not want to get married OR have kids.

So there's that. Perhaps most amazingly, Britt Nilsson is NOT the main event on this week's show! That honor belongs to none other than Kelsey Poe.

Originally coming across as merely annoying and whiny, Kels became a little unhinged this week. First, she was determined to tell Chris "her story."

About being a widow, that is. Which is tragic, and of course something that's a part of her and she would need to talk to Chris at some point.

However, she told the story to the other girls first, and appeared downright nonchalant, yet simultaneously obsessed with telling this to Chris.

When she learned of Chris and Britt's "nap," Kelsey Poe stormed up to his hotel room to tell him about her husband, the late Sanderson Poe.

His death, she said, made her a stronger person, and revealing this to Chris helped her achieve some form of catharsis ... until it no longer did.

In one of the most bizarre confessionals we've ever seen, Kelsey said the show is technically about Chris, but it's also about Kelsey and her story.

We can't do it justice, honestly.

Kelsey was SURE she would get a rose, but when Chris Soules canceled the cocktail party and went right to the rose ceremony, she became terrified.

She walked away from the group, and the next thing you knew, paramedics were there, tending to a very dramatic panic attack she was experiencing.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Also, Megan was excited to go to New Mexico because she's never been out of the country, and made a lot of racist gestures and comments.

Good stuff, people!

Show Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]