The Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman opened up about her split from Josh Murray on The Bachelor last night, calling the split the biggest failure of her life.
While most of the "Chris Tells All" segment of last night's The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 8 was nothing noteworthy, Andi's heartbreak stood out.
Soon after the premiere of Chris Soules' season of The Bachelor, Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray split, which she calls the "biggest failure of my life."
"I feel bad," the 28-year-old said. "I feel like I disappointed people, and it breaks my heart to know that people rooted for us. I feel bad that it didn't work out."
That premiere, and its red carpet event, was the straw that broke the camel's back for them, she says, after "having people ask about wedding dates."
Andi and Josh hadn't set one. It soon became clear why.
"Seeing the other happy couples ... we had to ask ourselves, 'Why aren't we planning a wedding? Let's just be honest, why is it that we don't have a date?'"
"That trip was very eye-opening," Andi said, fighting back tears, and made them realize once and for all that it simply was not going to work out as planned.
As for why they broke up, she said it "was pretty mutual" and explained that they "were both very aware of the fact that we just didn't better each other."
"I didn't feel supportive and empowered and I don't think I gave him that support and empowerment that he needed," the A.D.A. from Atlanta adds.
"When you have two very passionate, very strong personalities in one house and nobody can back down and nobody is the calming force for one another."
"It's a lot of emotion. It's a lot of tension in one house."
That's not to say, however, that they didn't fight to make the relationship work, or that they weren't as in love as they seemed on the show, if not more so.
"We loved each other so much and I think knowing what we felt for one another probably makes it that much harder not being together now," she said.
"I never even experienced love like that. I mean, will always, always have a love for him. That was my first true love, without a doubt, and my first heartbreak."
"I'll always love him. I've never loved anybody like that."
While their split was amicable, they are not speaking.
"There's a lot of emotion there," said Dorfman, "and I think both of us get upset about each other's actions and we're just ... it's not a healthy place right now."
That said, Andi is still "grateful" for the experience.
"My life changed forever ... I don't want to look back [with] regret or disappointment or anger ... I still care for him, and I'm always going to care for him.'"
We wish her the best. Here's a look at how the other stars of The Bachelorette have fared with their final rose recipients, as ranked by relationship length.