American Idol Season 14 Hollywood Week continues with eliminations and the moment we've all been waiting for. GROUP ROUND.
Okay, so I've been waiting for Group Round. It's the most manufactured point in all of Hollywood week and its only purpose is to push contestants to the brink of exhaustion, tears, and vomiting. Yes, vomiting.
There will be hysteria and panic. There will be cheesy group names and terrible choreography. Here's hoping everyone chose their group members wisely.
We're picking up with Gabby Z's audition, which is where we left off yesterday. After three bars of the song, she forgot the lyrics. That line is so important a reality TV show was given that name.
Harry must have seen his teenage daughters in Gabby because he left the judges table and ushered her off the stage, telling her to regroup and come back.
Simon Cowell would've ushered her out the door.
Kelley Kime and Catherine Winston were also in Gabby's group of 10. After Catherine's performance, JLo said "she's much better than I remember."
Gabby got a peptalk from her stage mom and came back out to play and sing her way into a standing ovation from the other contestants. To be honest, it wasn't fantastic.
All three ladies who were good enough to get camera time made it to Group Rounds. MUAHAHHAHHAHAH.
From the Nashville auditions, Andrew Annello sings Amy Winehouse's "Valerie" in hopes of sticking around. He doesn't really get very far into the song before they cut him off so 15 year old Maddie Walker can sing. Maddie Walker who is 15 but looks 23.
Alexis Gomez channels her inner Carrie Underwood and Crystal Bowersox and performs barefoot.
Andrew is asked to take a step forward. He's the only one to be sent home from that group. Bummer.
Cody Fry puts the room to sleep singing "Lilac Wine," but his voice is good and his guitar is in tune and the other two guys on the stage with guitars look like they're going to puke. He gets through to Group Round.
Loren Lott says she's the next American Idol because she can make American Idol a lot of money. She's got such a great personality. She feels like "kittens and gummy bears and coffee and chocolate."
Rayvon Owen and Shi Scott are in the next group up. Rayvon wants to be the next American Idol to make his mom proud. Something tells me he's already done that even without winning a reality singing competition. He gets a little longer to sing than many people, so that's probably a good sign.
Shi Scott has an amazing look and a great voice. They're both advancing.
Clark Beckham, a street performer, says "America's hungry for the groove." What? Daniel Seavey, 15, and by far the shortest competitor, sings Ed Sheeran. They're moving on.
Dakota Suarez, who wants to be the first Drag Queen to walk away with the Idol crown, channels the stars for her outfit but can't channel the vocal skills from her first audition. Lots and lots of people suffer the same fate but the audience is generous and still applauds.
Kasim, who's mother outed him as a virgin during his audition, has caught Jax's eye. If they join the same group and then mysteriously disappear, someone check their rooms. He does a little too much with his Ed Sheeran number for my taste, but he clearly has talent. Enough talent so that the judges are keeping him around.
Now that the field has been whittled, the remaining contestants have to divide themselves into groups of four. Harry reminds them that while they may have formed friendships, they're competing against each other. They all have to find a way to stand out during the group sing.
Alexis can't find a group. She's damn near tears and Sal says "fives a good number, and you know I like to surround myself with women." GIVE HIM COOKIES!
Rehearsals get underway and some groups are hitting the sack by 1:35 a.m. Others, hahahahaha. Nope. Shi is pulling the "I'm sick" card, Jax is cranked up on Red Bull, and some girl in a gray wool cap has never gone a night in her life with no sleep. She eventually passes out in a hallway like half the stage moms.
Some contestants grab a few ZZZs in the floor of the breakfast hall.
We're already moving on to the pint of the show where we're listening to group competitions and we barely got any footage from their rehearsals. I can't decide if I feel cheated or excited.
One of the first groups to go to sleep last night, Double Stuff, (David Oliver Willis, Jesse Cline, Clarke Beckham, and J.None) hit a rough patch during their sound check. As in half of them forget the lyrics. They pull it together for their performance, though, and do a really standout job to start the day.
Keith breaks the news that they're all sticking around. (David Oliver Willis was one of my faves during American Idol Season 12. So glad he's still here!)
Shiba Squared, Shi Scott, Big Ron, Andrew Bloom, and Adam Ezegalian, didn't get much sleep. They opt to sing "PYT" from the Michael Jackson songbook with each guy taking turns serenading Shi who sings briefly in the song. Andrew, to the judges, didn't stand out as much as he should have. He's going home.
The Dream Team (Tyanna Jones, Maddy Hudson, Reno Anoa'i , and Steffi Ledbetter) got a little inspirational coaching from Tyanna's mom before they hit the stage to sing Michael Jackson. Reno forgot the lyrics. Steffi was clearly unsure of what she was doing with this song. Mom said "that was hard to listen to." Jennifer called it "shaky" and Harry said they didn't have to out-run each other. Tyanna shined. Steffi got canned.
TYANNA'S MOM, GUYS! RENO'S MOM. Those ladies have love and pride oozing out of their pores.
Alexis, who became the fifth member of her group, has a dizzy spell or panic attack right before they're going on the stage and Sal immediately regrets his decision to invite her to the group.
Michael Simeon, Hunter Larsen, Jaq Mackenzie, and Nick Fradiani are Team Dimples. Nick's not sure he'll ever live this down. Hunter's hair is amazing. They choose "Rude" and do a great job. Jennifer is in love with Michael Simeon and might make him her next boyfriend. Before telling them that they're all going through, Harry says that everyone in the room should take comfort in the fact that all except one of them will lose. O...kay?
The Gals and Sal take the stage (no really, that's their name) and just as the music starts, Alexis faints and has to be helped off the stage by Sal and an EMS worker.
Harry, Keith, and Jennifer decide to take a break. Someone in the audience crosses herself. A new hashtag appears on the screen.
So that's what we'll do.