Miley Cyrus: Pregnant? Going to Rehab?!?!?!?

During a recent evening out in Miami, Miley Cyrus wore nothing but nipple pasties on the upper half of her body.

But the new issue of Life & Style screams on its cover something even more shocking about the young star: SHE'S PREGNANT!!!

Maybe. Sort of. Except not at all, of course.

As is so often the case with tabloids that just want to take your money, one must read between the lines of this magazine to see how Miley FEARS she could be “forced into rehab” while “carrying” the “baby” of new boyfriend Patrick Schwarzenegger.

“Her period is late," a friend apparently very much in the know tells Life & Style, adding:

"Miley gave up drinking and smoking pot for a few weeks because of it, but she’s having a hard time saying ‘No.’ Some people believe that she’d need professional help to stay sober for nine months."

Those who may want to believe this rumor (for some reason) may wish to note the following:

Life & Style also claimed Miley Cyrus was pregnant in April.

We haven't exactly spotted a baby bump on the artist since then - and it's not because Miley has been covering up, that's for sure!

We'll keep a close eye on this situation, but you'll understand if we file this story in the following photo gallery while we do so, right?