Miley Cyrus is married to new boyfriend Patrick Schwarzenegger ... according to a new tabloid report. The two supposedly “stunned friends” with a “wild secret ceremony.”
Did they, though?
We would guess not. First of all, and really last of all, it's Life & Style that reported this. As celebrity gossip sources go, they are not among the most reliable.
Miley has been pregnant countless times, if you were to believe this source, and was even involved in a “deadly binge” and “drug overdose” as Gossip Cop notes.
So take it with a grain (nay, a boulder, nay, an avalanche of salt) as you read these new claims that Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger got married.
The alleged setting was a crazy night in Miami, where Miley dragged her man to a location where a “little person stripper pal [who’s] ordained as a minister was waiting.”
Gotta give L&S credit for originality and detail there, at least.
It gets better, too. According to the insider, “Miley whipped out wedding rings she’d fashioned from rolling paper and screamed, ‘We’re getting married!'”
The next night, she broke the news to her friends in style.
“Miley invited a bunch of her childhood friends over to announce that she and Patrick had eloped the night before,” claims the likely bogus insider.
“Everyone seemed really confused and taken aback," the supposed witness says, "about what Miley went on to describe as a ‘private commitment ceremony.'”
So they're not married legally. Convenient, L&S.
The union “won’t be legal unless Miley and Patrick apply for a marriage license,” but claims the two are “taking their young relationship to new levels.”
So even the tabloid doesn't buy the tabloid's own story. Good times right there. Although the two do seem to be quite into each other these days, for real.
At least based on this photo booth licking.