Miley Cyrus: MARRIED to Patrick Schwarzenegger!?

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Miley Cyrus is married to new boyfriend Patrick Schwarzenegger ... according to a new tabloid report. The two supposedly “stunned friends” with a “wild secret ceremony.”

Did they, though?

Miley Cyrus Married? Seriously?

We would guess not. First of all, and really last of all, it's Life & Style that reported this. As celebrity gossip sources go, they are not among the most reliable.

Miley has been pregnant countless times, if you were to believe this source, and was even involved in a “deadly binge” and “drug overdose” as Gossip Cop notes.

So take it with a grain (nay, a boulder, nay, an avalanche of salt) as you read these new claims that Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger got married.

The alleged setting was a crazy night in Miami, where Miley dragged her man to a location where a “little person stripper pal [who’s] ordained as a minister was waiting.”

Gotta give L&S credit for originality and detail there, at least.

It gets better, too. According to the insider, “Miley whipped out wedding rings she’d fashioned from rolling paper and screamed, ‘We’re getting married!'”

The next night, she broke the news to her friends in style.

“Miley invited a bunch of her childhood friends over to announce that she and Patrick had eloped the night before,” claims the likely bogus insider.

“Everyone seemed really confused and taken aback," the supposed witness says, "about what Miley went on to describe as a ‘private commitment ceremony.'”

So they're not married legally. Convenient, L&S.

The union “won’t be legal unless Miley and Patrick apply for a marriage license,” but claims the two are “taking their young relationship to new levels.”

So even the tabloid doesn't buy the tabloid's own story. Good times right there. Although the two do seem to be quite into each other these days, for real.

At least based on this photo booth licking.

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Miley Cyrus Biography

Miley Cyrus Hair
Miley Cyrus has evolved tremendously over the years. Initially known for portraying Hannah Montana, the singer/actress made an effort to... More »
Franklin, Tennessee
Full Name
Destiny Hope Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Quotes

Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you.

Miley Cyrus [at a concert, soon after photo scandal broke]

I have let myself down. I will learn from my mistakes and trust my support team. My family and my faith will guide me through my life's journey.

Miley Cyrus [on lewd photos]