Beyonce and Jay Z: They've Totally (Not) Split!

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Forget the renewed wedding vows in Paris.

Ignore the happy family photo at The Louvre.

Who cares about the fact that no credible, named source has gone on record with any real marital strife between Jay Z and Beyonce? This famous couple has totally split up.

According to the latest issue of In Touch Weekly, that is.

Beyonce and Jay Z Divorce Claim

See, apparently things were going smoothly for these two until THE FIGHT THAT CHANTED EVERYTHING.

The cover claims it took place of some “other woman” and that the bodyguard for Beyonce and Jay Z is behind this shocking report. So it's totally and completely true and why would anyone question it?!?

Of course, rumors of a Jay Z and Beyonce divorce did make the rounds this summer, but mostly in the form of similarly-concocted tabloid tales and quotes from anonymous insiders.

As you can see in the following photo gallery, the First Couple of Music and Really of The Entire World appear to be doing just fine, thank you very much.

In other supermarket tabloid news from this week, Scott Disick is apparently in love with Khloe Kardashian. So, wow, yeah... that's gotta be awkward around the family dinner table!

Almost as awkward as Selena Gomez being pregnant and alone...

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