Sarah Palin may not have not reached her goal of becoming vice president, but based on the latest gossip out of Anchorage, she just might earn the title of Most Insanely Psychotic Mom in Alaska.
And we'd imagine there's some stiff competition in that department.
Several media outlets are reporting today that Palin and her entire freaking family were involved in a massive, drunken, 20-person brawl at some sort of huge annual party.
When the Palins arrived, eldest son Track spotted a dude who had recently broken up with his 20-year-old sister Willow.
According to witnesses, Track cold-cocked the guy and all hell broke loose.
Sarah reportedly stood around screaming, "Do you know who I am?!" while her kids (including daughter Bristol, who apparently has a "mean right hook") proceeded to gang-beat anyone in sight.
Even Sarah's husband Todd got involved and was reportedly left nursing a bloody and possibly broken nose.
Hilariously, at one point, an onlooker yelled to Sarah, "This isn't some hillbilly reality show!" in reference to her 2010 TLC flop, Sarah Palin's Alaska.
The melee concluded in glorious fashion, with Track standing shirtless in the street flipping off fleeing partiers. Naturally, Sarah stood by his side all the while.
Once the scene was cleared, the Palins piled into their stretch Hummer (of course) and hightailed it back to Wasilla.
News literally doesn't get any better than this.
We're actually considering subscribing to The Sarah Palin Channel now that we know it might include footage of the former governor calmly stroking a moose like a Bond villain while her children of the six-month-night curb stomp anyone who looks at them funny.
Just kidding. They don't have curbs in Alaska.