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Well, Ashley Hebert? Who’s it gonna be? Ben Flajnik or JP Rosenbaum have both won America’s heart, and hers. But only one will receive the final rose.

A season marred by one controversy after another all comes down to tonight. Will Ashley get her happy ending? Were The Bachelorette spoilers correct?

Which per-fact man will present the adorable Ashley with a Neil Lane ring (product placement at its best) and whose romantic hopes will be dashed?

THG breaks down The Bachelorette season finale in a LIVE +/- recap!

Wow, the episode-opening montage already has us feeling bad for whomever Ashley doesn’t pick. We have our favorite, but they’re both good guys. Plus 9.

Speaking of which … poor Ames. Minus 3.

Whoa, Kat Von D is guest-starring! Oh, wait, that’s Ashley’s sister Chrystie. Plus 5, because her family is very real. Too much so to be on this show, almost.

Ashley tells the fam about the “burning passion” she has with J.P. Just what ma and pa want to hear before meeting their daughter’s love interest. Minus 4.

Chrystie says Ashley is “a little too much” for “demure” J.P. Minus 7, for being kind of a b!tch, but Plus 5, because she doesn’t make terrible points. Just saying.

8:14 p.m. and Ash is a LOSING IT! Plus 3.

Ashley’s sis full-on calls out J.P. for being single and 34. Yet she was cool with Brad Womack, a 38-year-old, notoriously commitment-phobic cyborg. Minus 15.

J.P. is thrown off, and understandably so. How often does a Kat Von D clone appear in Fiji and straight up judge you after 15 minutes? F*%k that! Plus 9.

Is Ashley capable of thinking for herself? Just curious. Minus 6.

The Hebert sisters are both weepy messes. Awk. Ward. Plus 2, because at least Ash showed some backbone, and Chrysie is looking out for her …

Or is she just jealous? Minus 7. That has to be part of it.

Ben is doing considerably better with Chrystie. Maybe it’s the puppy talk? We’re happy it’s going well, but this is really uncomfortable to watch, so Minus 11.

Ashley Hebert says it’s going Per-FACT! Everybody, take a sip. Plus 1.

The family is officially gushing over Ben. You can see why he just proclaimed he’d be engaged to her the next time they meet. Don’t jinx it! Minus 3.

Ben is so self-aware, true to himself and in touch with who he is. One would have to be to be seen on camera in an outfit such as this. Plus 7.

A helicopter ride! On The Bachelorette! That’s a first (tonight)! Minus 4.

There is a whole lot of lubing going on up in here. And Ashley just noted that she wishes she could “go lower.” Is this on Cinemax? Plus 10.

Minus 6 for putting mud INSIDE her own bikini top, though. Gross. Wonder if she now prefers that over Vaseline? Okay, sorry, moving on.

Ben finally drops the l-bomb. No, not lube. Plus 7. He also got her stepdad’s blessing to propose, which gives up a leg up over J.P. … for now. Plus 5.

Ben says their “walls are down.” Next up? Pants. Plus 5.

J.P. is still really thrown by Chrystie. Minus only 3, because he’s fighting for and defending his strong feelings for Ashley and not merely bitter.

He’s madly in love. The ML-bomb. Eat it, Ben! Plus 9.

Eh, we still don’t see it. Nothing against J.P., but just seems like a more natural fit with Ben. They’re both quirky, silly, sweet and weird. No points, just saying.

On second thought, at least she and J.P. kiss with their mouths open. Ashley and Ben? More of a cutesy face-smushing. Could be a telling sign.

Whoever J.P. had ghost-write that note did a nice job. Plus 4.

The two rings of diamonds are symbolic of infinity … not unlike Neil Lane’s run of free advertising and cheesy lines on The Bachelor franchise. Minus 8.

J.P. fears ending up with a broken heart. We fear the pink shirt. Minus 4.

You can seriously cut the tension with a knife right now. Now if only someone would cut the feathers off of Ashley’s dress. It’s a bit much. Minus 5.

OMG noooooooooooooooooooooo. Minus 170.

He just referenced his dead father and the circle of life … and she’s letting him go through with the proposal. This is just heartbreaking. Minus 30.

For a show built on contrived nonsense, that breakup was brutally real! Plus 50.

Ben is totally stunned, and not having her attempts to sugar coat things. Good things don’t end unless they end badly. Simple, but profound. Plus 25.

Did Ashley “play it safe” with J.P.? Or is he the bigger risk? Wash.

Chris Harrison. So handsome. So debonair. So stoic, in command. Rule #1 of being a professional host-pimp: you can NOT get involved emotionally. Plus 9.

Good proposal speech by J.P. “You’re the one. You’re it.” Plus 25, even though she gave away that she picked him before he proposed. Ben? Not so lucky.

REO Speedwagon FTW! Plus 30 for the cheese factor, as well as the flashbacks to the magical roller skating rink date. Those were truly the best of times.

Did Ben flat-iron his hair before the After the Final Rose taping? Minus 6. Is it to help mask the tears from having to sit and watch this again? Minus 7.

His response to this rejection, both then and now, is just so heartfelt. Honest and vulnerable, introspective and compassionate. Ben F. for The Bachelor? Plus 44.

He gets our vote. And hey, if not, there’s Ashley’s sister! Plus 6.

Ashley reinvents her hairstyle on every hiatus from filming. Minus 5.

For a guy many fans considered the less mature opinion of the two, Ben acquitted himself awfully well tonight. Plus 20 for leaving with class and dignity.

We momentarily thought this Take the Money and Run preview was Bachelor Pad. We can see Jake burying a briefcase full of money. Or burying Vienna. Plus 7.

And now, without further ado … together … for the first time since Fiji (or when we caught them together on this rendezvous), Ashley and J.P.! Plus 6.

J.P. admits he is, in fact, living a double life … of sneaking around and hiding the fact that he’s engaged to Ashley all summer! Tabloid trickery … Plus 4.

Chrystie’s back! And nicely-dressed! And apologetic! Plus 9. She’s right, too. The more you watch them, the clearer it is how happy they make each other.


Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum: Will it last?