The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: All The Ingrediences For Disaster

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are back again, but it's not the housewives themselves that get under our skin as much as the husbands.

Sometimes, I think this show is about who can be the trashiest. Was there a winner this week? Let's recap with our +/-review!

Teresa is reviewing the photos for her new cookbook and I have to admit, they look great. Plus 10. Of course she nitpicks with the photographer. One picture should include parsley, there should be more sauce on the meatballs, etc. I suppose she needs to feel involved but from what I saw, the guy knows what he's doing.  

T to the G

Teresa gains a Plus 15 for her creative vocabulary. The name for her next book, "Fabulicious" is her personal word creation. Of course so is the "ingrediences" she uses. I won't even touch her pronunciation of the word cumin.  

Cousin Kathy decides she needs to speak to Caroline after the way things were left during last week's fashion show. She defends herself to Caroline about her confrontation with Teresa. "I was coming from a place of love. Caroline's response. "I don't care." Plus 5 because I really love Caroline for not listening to Kathy's self serving bs.

Then Kathy laments that she's a grown woman and doesn't need Caroline's approval. Then why the heck did she trek all the way to her house. Minus 10 for hypocrisy. If Kathy doesn't want people to think she's a trouble maker, perhaps she should stop causing trouble.

Of course it certainly works out in Kathy's favor. Her husband feels Teresa was rude to her so he wants to make her feel better... by buying her a Mercedes! Does that feel like overcompensating to anyone else?

And where do these people get their money? The new Mercedes? The Ferrari? Damn.

Looks like Albie and Chris have another roommate, Albie's friend Greg from college. They describe Greg as their "man sister." Plus 3 for the little dog in the pink hoodie.

The whole family helps Albie and Chris move in but Jacqueline gives the most original present for their new home. A stripper pole. Plus 10 for the housewarming gift that keeps on giving.

Now we get to the horror show otherwise known as Joe Gorga. Someone, I beg you. Make it stop.  

RHONJ Class Acts

It starts off harmlessly trashy enough with Joe and baby Joey in matching guido sweatsuits. Minus 3 for ego but it quickly goes downhill from there.

Life is one constant booty call for Joe. He not only regales us with stories of his own sex drive but his father's as well. Minus 8 for making me shudder and just when I think it can't get worse, it does.

Joe hasn't had sex in four days and this is how he describes it. "You know when you've got a big white zit and you pop it and it shoots across the room." Honestly, woman allow this man to touch them? Minus 13 for making me even think about that. I feel ill just having him on my TV screen. He goes on to describe his build up of bodily fluids as poison in his body. In Joe's case, I have no doubt.

I'm not a huge fan of Teresa's but I'll admit she's smarter than her brother. I'm not sure a body can still breathe and be dumber. But please, have pity on the world. Don't let there be more Teresas out there.

Poor Jacqueline. Plus 5 for trying to be a good friend and helping Teresa write her letter to Joe but after several hours she realizes Teresa's going to write whatever she wants.


In the end, the letter wasn't half bad. Plus 5 for making the effort towards reconciliation.

Minus 10 for Joe Gorga when he refuses to read it. It actually makes me wonder if he has problems reading when he has Melissa read it to him. Or maybe he's just an ass.

Melissa complains that Teresa hasn't sent a card for the christening and that's a very big deal. So, it's OK to tell her to F-off at the event but she damn well better still send some cash in a card. There are standards. Minus 5 because these folks make my head spin.

In the end Joe doesn't want to make the effort to talk to his sister unless she changes. Melissa tells him he'll never know if it's possible if he doesn't talk to her. Melissa as the voice of reason? Who knew?

EPISODE TOTAL: +4! SEASON TOTAL: -3! Hang on for next week. It's the Thanksgiving episode. Get ready to duck.

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