Dancing With the Stars: A Bristol Palin Conspiracy

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Bristol Palin is now in the final five on Dancing With the Stars.

Who will she outlast next? Rick Fox's elimination last night, and Audrina Patridge shockingly getting the heave-ho the week before prove that no one is safe.

Jaleel White and Kym Johnson

The question is how it's even possible. Sure, she's better than David Hasselhoff or The Situation. But Rick and Audrina had the moves and the flair, and Bristol doesn't even want to be there. Her words and body language have said as much.

STILL STANDING: Week after week, Bristol Palin beats superior Dancing With the Stars competition. How long can it go on? Could she actually win this thing?!

It's still a stretch to think that she could best Brandy and Jennifer Grey to actually win DWTS, but another week or two? Doesn't seem impossible right now.

Her talent is average at best, her effort mediocre, and fan support ostensibly lacking. What gives? There has to be some sort of diabolical plot at work here.

A couple of Bristol Palin conspiracy theories:

  • Sarah Palin has the entire Tea Party movement and everyone on her PAC email list dialing and robo-texting like madmen after every episode.
  • ABC rigs the results so she stays and we give the show free publicity with ridiculous articles like this one. Game, set, match, network execs!
  • Their Russian neighbors are voting around the clock.
  • Voters fear an attack by a swarm of Mama Grizzlies.
  • Christine O'Donnell cast a spell on DWTS phone lines.
  • The Teen Mom demographic is bigger than realized.

Maybe we're off base and she's more popular than we think. You can help clear that up. Who are you rooting for on Dancing with the Stars?

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Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente