MTV’s Jersey Shore was in effect last night and The Hollywood Gossip was watching when the grenade went off, we assure you. Below is our weekly rundown.
Just for you, we’ve broken down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night’s episode six, awarding and deducting points as we deem fit. Let’s get to it:
Vinny does not actually get fired from work. Plus 1, because he didn’t deserve to, but we expected drama after he hooked up with Danny’s girl last week.
They roommates are annoyed by Sammi and Ronnie doing their thing and ruining group bonding time. Didn’t they all just meet on this MTV show? Minus 5.
GTL = Gym, tanning and laundry. That’s how The Situation and Pauly D roll. Plus 3. Vinny says he prefers basketball, pool and beach. Amen. Plus 2 more.
The Situation at the club: “It’s like the Navy Seals. I get sent out first, do a little reconnaissance, bring girls back.” Too bad he never goes MIA. Minus 1.
Vinny’s family comes to visit and his mother cooks a big meal for the cast. Approximately 73 Italians rolled with her. We didn’t even bat an eye. Plus 3.
GTL: Gym, tanning, laundry. That’s how guidos roll.
Ronnie and Sammi get into one of the lamest fights in the history of reality TV, which is really saying something. She is becoming a real nightmare. Minus 17.
The Situation is doing his thing and meets up with some girl. Standard. Little does he know’s bringing “The Grenade” back and a friend, “The Hippo.” Plus 8.
Pauly D won’t take “The Grenade” on again. Mike then asks Snooki if she’ll “take out the trash.” Minus 5, because that’s a little low, even for this show.
Plus 10 for “The Hippo” charging Snooki, though. Plus 2 more for Pauly D‘s awesome quote: “Someone needs to teach her how to fight or duck.”
Ronnie goes into “prime creep mode.” Minus 2 for the overuse of “creepin'” this week, and Minus 2 more for the obvious attempt to rile Sammi up.
Big fight! Synopsis: Ronnie and Sammi are walking. Guy insults them. Sammi insults him back. Ronnie shoves Sammi, telling her stop. She storms off. Ronnie charges guy. Plus 5 because this isn’t even the fight that got Ronnie Magro arrested.
TOTAL: +5! SEASON: +42! Such tools. And yet we watch.