Quote-unquote music producer J.R. Rotem apparently enjoyed massive amounts of sex with Britney Spears somehow.
And he's not afraid to disclose his specific, kinky sexual position of choice when he was doing the pop princess, either.
According to J.R. Rotem, he and Britney Spears had a heck of a good time railing one another during their brief fling.
That "relationship" lasted between one sexual encounter and a few weeks, depending on who you believe.
Wow. Kind of makes the usual news about Britney Spears seem dull, no?
The nipple slip, the crotch shots, the fashion faux pas, the floundering career, the kids, the ongoing feud with Lynne Spears ... BORING.
So what did the two hornballs do, exactly?
"I f--ked Britney wheelbarrow style!" J.R. Rotem tells Blender magazine, which is a magazine that exists somehow, before amending that.
"Just kidding," he says.
"It was tractor style."
The Hollywood Gossip's research department has uncovered no evidence of such a position existing. Tractor, that is. Wheelbarrow does.
So J.R. Rotem either made up a special new move dedicated to Spears or is making some kind of white trash joke at Britney's expense.
As far as the wheelbarrow goes, Urban Dictionary describes it as intercourse, typically but not necessarily performed up against the wall.
The male (J.R. Rotem) holds the legs of the woman (Britney Spears) apart, like a wheelbarrow, as he leans against the wall and thrusts feverishly.
Sounds like something Kendra Jade would be familiar with, right?
See illustration below if you haven't used your imagination by now ...
All his wheelbarrow fun wasn't without consequences for Rotem.
After his affair with Brit became public, the producer says he was devastatingly nixed from Kevin Federline's MySpace friends list.
That's as big of a bummer as you can think of, we know.
In the end, Britney and J.R. "decided for both our careers that it would not be cool to have a romantic relationship," says he.
Or one based on hard core sex, more accurately.
In the past, Rotem has boasted of other conquests - Bai Ling, Hayden Panettiere, Mya and Meagan Good, among others.
He didn't divulge specific details, other than to say that none of those attractive young ladies "got him as far" as Britney.
It's not clear if he means that none of those other celebrity sex partners earned him as much notoriety, or let him go that far in bed.
We may never know with absolute certainty.
In any case, we are now unable to unsee the mental image of J.R. walking around the room with Britney Spears attached to him.
As a personal wheelbarrow, with one leg in each of his arms, and using her hands to hold herself up as he ... yeah. Can't unsee that.
2007 was a great time to be alive.
Britney soon moved on to Isaac Cohen, who, oddly enough, also divulged details of making sweet love to her in an extensive interview.
Seems like only yesterday, no?