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If Boston Market starts to support Heather Mills, then we’re outta here.

It’s difficult enough to stick around now that Kentucky Fried Chicken has decided to capitalize on the mess that is Sanjaya Malakar with a bizarre marketing campaign.

The following is an open letter to this American Idol contestant, one that’s almost as disturbing as pictures of Sean Stewart nude:

Congratulations on catching America’s ears… and eyes.

Over the past month, you’ve wowed the world with your original performances. And, your ever-changing hairdos have made you almost as famous as KFC® Original Recipe® Chicken and Colonel Sanders himself.

On behalf of Kentucky Fried Chicken®, I want to serve up to you a tasty offer. If you don a bowl hairdo during one of your next nationally televised performances, KFC will grant you a free lifetime supply of KFC Famous Bowls®. We’re sure America will be as ‘bowled-over’ by your take on this classic look as they are by our KFC Famous Bowls.

From wavy to Mohawk to now the classic bowl — who knows, your bowl cut could start a trend as big as KFC Famous Bowls, which consumers ranked as THE most memorable new product of 2006.

In addition to free KFC Famous Bowls for life — if you sport a bowl cut, KFC will cut a check in your name to Colonel’s Scholars, a charity providing young people with much needed college scholarships. We’re confident that helping students afford college is something that even the toughest of judges would stand and applaud.

Your Fan,
Gregg Dedrick
President of KFC

Well, that proves it. Sanjaya has at least one fan. Now let’s just hope Jordin Sparks and others have enough to finally get this loser voted off the show this week finally.