Good news, Jessica Simpson: You aren't the only wasted celebrity.
In fact, any time you feel like boozing, there's a good chance Matthew McConaughey will join you. And God bless him for that.
In addition to being the highest-paid athlete on Earth, does metrosexual soccer star David Beckham harbor acting aspirations?
Giorgio Armani thinks so.
No one has heard much from Melissa Joan Hart in recent years.
Maybe it's because her hit shows, Clarissa Explains it All and Sabrina the Teenage Witch are no longer on the air. And may not really qualify as hit shows.
While Britney Spears poses and preens for the paparazzi, other celebrities try to avoid the spotlight.
Take Kate Middleton, for example. Her lawyers have issued a final warning to the UK press: Stop photographing Middleton or face possible legal action.
Channeling her inner Pete Doherty (and apparently in need of a lawyer as good as his), actress Kim Basinger may face 60 days in jail and a $12,000 fine when she makes an appearance in court tomorrow on 12 contempt of court charges.
Basinger is accused of breaching a custody agreement she shares with ex-husband Alec Baldwin, who claims she failed to notify him when she was out of town and also failed to inform him when their daughter, Ireland, suffered an injury that required medical attention.
Only Brad Pitt could upstage Drew Brees.
While the latter has moved the New Orleans Saints to within one game of the Super Bowl, the former has simply moved into the city. And that's newsworthy enough.
Wouldn't you be, too, if you had to hang out with the bore that is John Mayer all night?
Seen here on New Year's Eve, Jessica Simpson appears to be having a good time; one she may or may not have remembered the following morning.
We're always excited when we see Sean Preston Federline.
Sure, he's a cutie - but there are a ton of celebrity babies out there. In terms of adorableness, Sean P. is middle of the road. But it's reassuring to see that he hasn't been dropped on his head and left incapacitated, or abandoned altogether by his clubbing-crazed, sometimes pants-eschewing mother, Britney Spears.
It was a pretty good evening for Ugly Betty and a few other shows at the Golden Globe Awards last night.
In a pleasant surprise, America Ferrera (pictured) took home the trophy for best TV comedy actress.
Lindsay Lohan is a girl almost always going wild.
Therefore, it should come as no surprise that the man rumored to be getting an up close and personal view of the world's most famous firecrotch is Joe Francis.
After being locked in a Chinese prison for 20 months, Jack Bauer had to reflect.
The star of 24 and America's only hope against a growing terrorist threat could wait a few minutes before he shaved and saved the world. First, he had to process a slew of surprising celebrity facts.
Yes, we know you stopped caring about the feud between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell a long time ago. We're pretty sure that even some of the parties involved - troubled Miss USA Tara Conner and the legendary Barbara Walters - are no longer paying attention.
Nevertheless, this weekend's Saturday Night Live spoof of Donald Trump by cast member Darrell Hammond captures the ongoing war of words - and the essence of the star and producer of The Apprentice - in all its glory. Check it out this parody of Trump at his Apprentice press conference:
This is beginning to be as commonplace as a Pete Doherty arrest:
Another beauty queen has lost her crown. No, this one didn't snort cocaine and kiss younger women, like Tara Conner.
Nicole Richie might not know which way to drive on a Southern California freeway, but at least she didn't forget how to fill up her gas-guzzling, enviornment-raping SUV.
Which counts for something. After all, some celebrities, like Oprah Winfrey, might be trying to save the world, but can't even fuel up their own cars! Then we have Kevin Federline, who only knows how because he will be working at a gas station before long. Or Paris Hilton, who's shown she can operate the pump, but much prefers getting pumped.
Looks like Britney Spears and Isaac Cohen have taken their newfound romance to new heights.
Literally.
Lauren Conrad, Laguna Beach alumna and star of MTV's The Hills, is featured by People Magazine in a photo special previewing her reality show's second season - which starts tonight! Here are the exclusive photos and the details she dished:
Those that wish to see Lindsay Lohan nude don't need to offer her a cheap beer and a spot in the backseat of their car.
As you can tell from the picture below, you can just look at the alcoholic actress in a blouse.
Keeley Hazell is a British model who has a role in the movie, Cashback.
The part she plays? "Naked girl."
The sexy Kristin Cavallari helped kick off the grand opening of new Hollywood hot spot Sideways Restaurant & Lounge with an event of her own: a belated 20th birthday celebration.
Yes, Kristin Cavallari is 20.
Name your price.
That's basically the message Anna Nicole Smith has been sending to tabloids across the country, says a source, as she exploits her daughter's cuteness for financial gain.
Troubled rocker Pete Doherty was arrested this weekend. Yes, this is actually a new story. Though we don't blame you for asking.
The Babyshambles lead singer and raging drug addict was busted and taken into custody for - yes - joyriding Saturday morning, mere hours after he ruled out marriage to his supermodel girlfriend, Kate Moss.
Zach Braff may have launched his career on the silly sitcom, Scrubs, but the actor says in real life, he resembles the depressed character he played in Garden State.
"I think I suffer from some mild depression," he told Parade magazine. "So to have millions of people go, 'I watched your movie and related' was the ultimate affirmation that I'm not a freak."
Katie Rees is multi-tasking.
The former Miss Nevada is hosting a female orgasm contest in Las Vegas.
Kevin Federline will get through his divorce with Britney Spears and come out of it stronger.
How do we know this? Because Shar Jackson says so.
