by Free Britney at

The Hills was heartwarming, annoying, funny and nearly Audrina-free last night. Our recap will consist of awarding and deducting points as we see fit.

When Lauren Conrad learns her parents are moving out of Laguna Beach, she returns home to pack up her old room. Spencer Pratt tries to get sister Stephanie to ditch boyfriend Cameron, and Whitney Port takes a step closer to The City.

A Pimp and His Prize Hoe

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

Playing the role of strong, protective big brother, we came dangerously close to giving props to Spencer Pratt. But he would be snide, sarcastic and passive-aggressive to Stephanie even if Cameron weren't being a d!ck, so Minus 1.

Spencer to Stephanie: "Do you know how immature and stupid this relationship sounds from an outside perspective?" Plus 18, because it, like, totally does, but this is equally true of Speidi to the entire celebrity gossip reading world.

Within the first few minutes, LC name-drops the episode title, "Dream boy, dream job!" Minus 2 for lameness and the strong possibility that she was coached to.

At the Diane Van Furstenberg offices in NYC, Elizabeth, Alixe and Whitney Port herself are all wearing tight clothing and high heels at work. This is actually consistent with both the industry and city. Welcome to New York! Plus 3.

At least from what we could tell, Stephanie surprised Heidi and Spencer by bringing Cameron to dinner. Spencer went off on him immediately. Minus 4, because surely Stephanie would have seen that coming. It's Spencer Pratt, people!

How much did you love Lauren Conrad while she was back home in her old room! That scene with LC and Lo reflecting was, like, so real. *sniff* Plus 7!

But Minus 2 because while it would've been beyond ridiculous if Jason Wahler walked in at that moment, we were kinda hoping it would happen.

Okay, this has been bothering us for months: the hosts of the Hills After Show are such losers. Do we have to see them during commercials too? Who the eff dresses that girl? And you know that dude's glasses aren't even prescription. Minus 9.

Of course, Whitney would use a lot of Valley Girl-speak in her interview and of course, no one would bat an eye. If you're Heidi Montag at Bolthouse, this would be annoying as hell. But if you're Whitney Port, it's the name of the fashion game! Plus 3.

Whitney's Australian love interest, Jay Lyon, appears for, like, three seconds to hug her a lot before she leaves for L.A. Minus only 2, because while that was a total sham, we're so psyched to see Jay and Whitney on The City, you don't even understand!

TOTAL: +11. Not bad! Leave a comment with your own scores!

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by Free Britney at

Last week set the bar pretty high, but The Hills was still solid last night. As always, our recap will consist of us awarding and deducting points as we see fit.

Audrina Patridge is, like, still a mess over the scandalous Lauren Conrad-Justin-Bobby hookup that didn't actually happen. She doesn't know what to do next. Meanwhile, Speidi pays a visit to his Nana, and Spencer rips Stephanie a lot.

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

One second after showing up, Spencer Pratt rips Stephanie for decorating her kitchen like a bathroom. It's like he was determined to fire off an insult at the first possible opportunity and that's what he saw. Plus 3.

Obligatory Minus 5 for Heidi Montag's Times Square hooker / clubbing makeup. In broad daylight. At lunch with a nice old lady, no less. Tramp.

Whitney Port tells LC she's still in touch with Jay Lyon, who writes "xo" after, like, every sentence when they text. OMG, so cute, mate. Plus 7.

My, Casey Patridge was wearing a colorful top in this episode. Oh, wait, those are just her tats. Plus 4. And Plus 2 more for her wise words.

Audzo ranted non-stop about Justin-Bobby, yet the dirtbag did not actually appear last night. Normally, this would be cause for celebration, but in this case his mumbled, idiotic remarks would have fostered even more drama. So Minus 4.

Audrina Patridge sort of admits that she jumped to conclusions and treated Lauren unfairly over this, but then cops a pathetic excuse, "I don't even know who I am anymore" rather than just moving on. OMG, grow up, girl. Minus 9.

Not just a Brody Jenner sighting. A shirtless Brody Jenner sighting. Plus 16. And Plus 5 more for is query to LC about "banging Justin-Bobby."

Speaking of the great BJ, that promo for Bromance was comically bad. But come on, we know we're gonna watch that and The City. Plus 5.

Anyone else think Nana is kind of sweet? Maybe Spencer's adopted. Plus 3.

Stephanie says Spencer wouldn't be Nana's "favorite" if she knew more about him. Riiight. Spencer has actually talked about Nana on numerous occasions in celebrity gossip tabloids! She has a scrapbook! Nice try, Steph. Minus 4.

TOTAL: +21. Leave a comment with your own scores!

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by Free Britney at

The Hills' Audrina Patridge says she couldn't be happier for her co-stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and their secret wedding in Mexico.

"I'm excited for Heidi and Spencer, and I hope they have a long and happy marriage," Patridge said. "When you spend any time with the two of them, it's obvious how much they love each other, and how committed they are."

"I am surprised and not surprised at the same time," Patridge added. "Heidi and Spencer seem like the types who would want a lavish wedding full of friends and family. But their wedding sounds like it was very intimate and romantic."

Whitney Port - another co-star on The Hills and the leading lady of its upcoming spin-off The City - also sent best wishes to the newly-married Speidi.

"Congratulations to them," Whitney said in an interview with Extra. "I think it's just great if that's what they're ready to do. Good for them."

Dumb and Dumber officially became man and plastic wife last week.

The secret nuptials not only raised questions regarding its legality or how spontaneous it actually was, compared to what the couple is claiming, but Heidi's sister, Holly Montag, and her parents were reportedly far from pleased.

Not only did Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt keep the November 20 ceremony secret from friends and family, but also from the MTV's cameras.

Fans can rest assured that the development will be explored when The Hills goes back into production for its upcoming new episodes, however.

"MTV wishes Heidi and Spencer the best and can't wait to share their special moment with The Hills fans later this season," MTV said in a statement.

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by Free Britney at

As usual, THG's recap of The Hills will consist of us grading last night's episode, awarding or deducting points for the best and worst moments.

Scandalously, Holly Montag moved in with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth, resulting in some choice remarks from Team Speidi. Whitney kept in touch with Jay, and Audrina (for the 394th straight week) pondered her future with Justin-Bobby.

Mrs. Spencer Pratt

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

Holly Montag moving in with Lauren Conrad when there are 10 trillion sublet options in L.A. seems absurdly fake, but Minus only 2 because it's not that big a stretch to believe LC would extend Holly the offer to passive-aggressively stick it to Heidi.

In Venice, Justin-Bobby philosophizes that there is something "Zen-ful" about the beach. Holy hell, this guy must smoke SO much weed. Plus 9.

Spencer leaves to "go enjoy life." Minus 3, because we all know he only enjoys life when wreaking havoc on The Hills or staging photo shoots.

No Brody Jenner again. This is disappointing to us, because we have a slight crush on Brody, but then again the man has been traveling with Jayde Nicole. We wouldn't be on The Hills either if that were the alternative. Plus 3.

Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge laugh about how they "attract trouble" when they go out. Minus 5, because it's not that noteworthy - they get paid to, and a decent amount of said trouble is manufactured or at least embellished by MTV.

Casey Patridge calls out Justin-Bobby for his crap and Audrina for her excuses. Plus 3 for Casey's honesty, but Minus 5 because Audrina obviously doesn't listen, and Minus another 1 for Casey's tats. A little too much tramp stampage for us.

LC says of Spencer, "He drives away everyone that cares about her." Yes. Yes he does. So astute on her part, and so entertaining on his. Plus 4.

Sam Nazarian simply "doesn't get" the Spencer thing. He's not alone. Plus 2.

Spencer Pratt is happy Heidi will be back at work and not "moping around" at home anymore. Plus 3, because he wants that lifestyle all to himself.

Justin-Bobby gives Audrina a t-shirt as a present, then adds, "No bras with that thing, thank you." Wow. Minus 7, because not only is J-Bobby the biggest d!ck ever, but with those fake boobs, Audzo doesn't need bras for ANY outfit!

Plus 10 for the whole "stalker mom" exchange. Follow the link to peep the video of this segment if you missed, it's vintage Speidi.

TOTAL: +11. Pretty entertaining all around. Leave a comment with your own!

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by Free Britney at

With shooting of the fourth season of The Hills about to conclude in a few weeks, Audrina Patridge is addressing speculation about the show’s future.

“There is going to be a fifth season,” Patridge said. “We just found out.”

Patridge, who recently filmed thriller Sorority Row with Rumer Willis, adds that despite all the drama she and her co-stars have a good time filming the show.

“We have fun with each other and we’ve stuck it out this long, so we might as well do another one," Patridge said, admitting that The Hills' cast members' divergent interests have made filming difficult in recent months.

“At one point, all of us were like, ‘No, we don’t want to do another season,’ she says. “I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she’s doing her own spin-off. And Lauren’s dating [My Boys actor] Kyle Howard but he can’t be on the show because he’s on another show, so that makes it hard.”

Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge from Season Four of The Hills.

Something else that wasn’t easy: Recent buzz that Lauren Conrad had a fling with Patridge’s on-and-off loser boyfriend, Justin-Bobby.

“It was really hard - one of his best friends that told me that, and I called Lauren and she hangs up on me,” Patridge says of the (false) rumor.

“And then once I sat them down and talked to them, I was like, ‘Okay, this is all I needed!’ You’ll see it on the show. It was very emotional.”

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by Free Britney at

As usual, THG's recap of The Hills will consist of us grading last night's episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

This week, Kelly Cutrone sends LC and Whitney to NYC to pull together a show for Men's Fashion Week. Sparks fly for Whitney with a new man. Heidi finds Spencer to be an embarrassment yet again when he confronts her ex-boss at a bar. 

On to the rankings! Chime in with your own!

After Heidi's firing, Spencer suggests they hang out on "their first free night in forever." Minus 5, because they hang out all the damn time, but Plus 7, because they technically are working during their club appearances and staged photo shoots.

No bonus four minutes of ads this week! Plus 3.

At long last, a lack of Justin-Bobby drama. Minus only 2, because we find ourselves sort of missing the entertainment he provides, much as we loathe him.

Plus 10 for airing an episode centered around Whitney Port, and for Whitney Port being particularly expressive (even by her standards). When Kelly said they'd be putting on six shows instead of two, her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

Whitney Port in New York

This isn't the first time Spencer has cornered Brent out of the blue, and he looks pretty darn surprised and annoyed, telling Spencer off and leaving him uncharacteristically speechless, suggesting that not everything on The Hills is faked. Plus 5.

We sort of feel bad for Alex the model, but if he's not going to be even a little assertive, how can we? Gotta step it up next time, guy. Minus 2.

After Adam invites Whitney and Lauren Conrad to a party, we were introduced to his friend, handsome Australian singer Jay. Minus 4, because as cool as he seems, we already know he's Jay Lyon, and he once dated Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr. The Hills lagging behind real life by three months kills some of the effect at times.

Who else is psyched for The City, though? Plus 10.

TOTAL: +22. Great stuff all around last night. We <3 Whitney. Add your own scores and we'll adjust our aggregate sum as the week goes on!

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by Free Britney at

As usual, THG's recap of The Hills will consist of us grading last night's episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

This week, Audrina Patridge decides to move to her own place, where she hopes she'll be able to rekindle the passion with Justin-Bobby. Yes, really. LC is sad to see her go. Lo? Not as much. Elsewhere, Heidi Montag drinks on the job and gets fired.

Crystal Balling

On to the rankings!

LC worried how Audrina's move would affect their relationship: “It was just so quick. It was literally like, ‘By the way, I’m going to move like right now.’ She’ll always be my friend. We’ll see, though.” Yup, typical LC. Plus 3.

“It’s not the end of the story,” Lauren Conrad reiterated later. “It’s just to be continued.” The writers feeding her these lines need to be fired. Minus 2.

Audrina's sister, Casey Patridge, is like a regular Kat Von D! Plus 3.

Justin-Bobby has never been one to open up. Or speak in complete sentences.

Audrina sort of asks Justin-Bobby to move in with this pathetic line: “I don’t know if I want to live by myself. Would you want to move in? Maybe?” His reply: “You know, just let it happen. We’ll see what happens.” Wow on both. Even.

You know Lo is totally excited that Audrina's moving out. Plus 7.

No mention of how she affords this ridiculous place - by being a psuedo-celebrity - which goes for pretty much everything and everyone on The Hills. Minus 4.

Whitney Port gives us an absolutely tremendous o-face. As in O-MG! Plus 1.

Sam Nazarian, looking for his partner Brent Bolthouse at the restaurant opening, asked a clearly intoxicated Heidi if she knew where he was and “if she was still working.” She shot back, “Are you?” Holy crap, what a moron. Minus 5.

Always helpful, Spencer asked Sam if he wanted a shot. [Crickets] Plus 3.

Obligatory Minus 4 for the bonus four minutes of ads. Boo, MTV. Boo.

TOTAL: +2. We've kept it short this time so you can add your own if you like. Comment below and we'll adjust the total score as your thoughts pour in!

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by Free Britney at

THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP NOTE: As is our new custom, our recap of The Hills will consist of a brief rundown of events, then our staff members grading last night's episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

Despite the presence of a charming Corey Bohan, Audrina Patridge is still drawn to bad boy Justin-Bobby, while Lauren Conrad is cute as ever, and a conniving Spencer Pratt is still determined to give Holly Montag the boot from his apartment.

Pimp and Ho

On to the rankings!

"If you take your top off and went over there, I'd probably have to chase you," Justin Bobby says. Dear God, what an unbelievably lame line, but Plus 5 because it totally works and he thus gets to see Audrina Patridge (fake boobs and all) topless.

The Cabo San Lucas Tourism Board must pay for all the name dropping. Minus 1.

Backhanded compliment of the year from Spencer to Stephanie: "I can't imagine disliking a sister more... Should make you feel good." LOL. Plus 7.

Once again, we are forced to mention that we already know Justin-Bobby will win out before any drama unfolds, as Corey Bohan was seen with Audrina 24/7 for like a week this summer before falling off the face of the Earth. Minus 10.

Corey is hot. J-Bobby is not. Audrina missed that memo? Minus 4.

Audrina laments to Lauren Conrad that she hasn't had to choose between two guys in the longest time. Girl is only 23, but Plus 4 because when you're wrapped up in a faux-reality bubble, a few weeks can seem like an eternity.

Spencer Pratt tells Stephanie that Holly is "the mooch of the century." Minus 2 for a pot calling the kettle black, but Plus 6 because he's oblivious and doesn't realize it.

Continue Reading...

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by Free Britney at

We've known about this for weeks, but MTV has finally announced it officially.

The Hills star Whitney Port will headline a new spin-off, The City, which will track her journey from Los Angeles to New York, the network said.

Audrina Patridge Fashion

The show is set to air next spring.

Now an employer of designer Diane Von Furstenberg, Whit reunites with "a best friend from her past" and meets "a guy she's head-over-heels for."

THG NOTE: That would be Olivia Palermo and Jay Lyon, respectively. Maybe.

"Surrounded by new friends, pursuing a fresh love life and starting to work in the upper echelon of the fashion industry is a lot to navigate for a new girl in the big city... especially one who has everything to lose," a press release hauntingly reads.

"In a city full of people with their own agendas, Whitney will have to quickly decide who she can trust and who to stay away from."

In her own statement, Whitney Port said of The City:

"I am thrilled and honored to be in New York City, not only working for one of the most renowned fashion designers, Diane Von Furstenberg, but to be able to mature as a young woman both professionally and personally."

All that's left to say? Move over, Lauren Conrad!

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by Free Britney at

THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP NOTE: Last week we implemented a new format for our recaps of The Hills. After a brief rundown of events, our staff grades each episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

Last night, Holly Montag continued to act as the go-between / peacemaker between Lauren and Heidi for some reason. Spencer Pratt finds out and is far from thrilled. Audrina dates a new guy, Colin, while going back and forth on Justin-Bobby.

On to the rankings!

Colin is "the happiest drunk." This is a selling point. Plus 2.

Audrina starts off date No. 2 with Colin by talking about Justin-Bobby. She says they're not boyfriend-girlfriend, but he's what's holding her back. Minus 5. Way to come off looking strong, confident and not pathetic at all, Auds.

The priceless reaction of Justin-Bobby to Audrina's date with Colin: "He went so far that he's not here. Ha ha." We don't even know what that means, which is pretty standard with him, and he's a consistent d-bag at least. Plus 5.

Chiara is totally the new Elodie - a co-worker of a Hills star designed to feed them forced dialogue. Elodie was kind of a bitch and more interesting, though. Minus 1.

Once again, the months-long lag behind real life - and the stars being real-life celebs - detracts from the show. We all know this Colin dude has no shot and have already moved on to Audrina Patridge and Josh Christopher rumors. Minus 8.

Too little of her, but we heart Whitney as always? Plus 2.

A stunningly concerned Holly Montag misleads Heidi into thinking she has a chance at getting back in Lauren's good graces and encourages her to write a letter. "[Lauren] knows who you are, she knows your heart ... maybe she needs to be reminded." Barf. Why does she even care? What contrived nonsense. Minus 7.

Continue Reading...

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