by Free Britney at

Snooki is piling up a pretty long list of Jersey Shore regrets.

We've already seen her get so hammered she stumbled around asking "where's the f*%king beach" when the OCEAN was right behind her. That's bad.

The latest do-over she wishes she had is simpler and somewhat less embarrassing. Given a second chance, she wouldn't have let Vinny "get it in."

Vinny and Snooki Pic

Snooki and Vinny Guadagnino in Miami.

"I kind of wish me and Vinny didn't try and have sex, because it was just drama this whole season," she said Thursday on Sirius radio's Morning Mash Up.

The fallout lasted until the current season. "I don't know, it was just very awkward between us. I felt stupid because, you'll see, it's just embarrassing."

Vinny, she guessed, might also wish it had never happened.

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by Free Britney at

The gang invented a new means of extracting grenades, Deena revealed her inner freak, Sammi and Ronnie came to blows (again), Snooki bought a stripper pole and so much more in an epic night of Jersey Shore debauchery.

Just when you think they can't outdo themselves once again ...

THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show, as always, in its trademark +/- recap below:

Grenade Whistle!

SOUND THE ALARM: Vinny rescues The Situation.

It's more like a Grenade Horn, but the Grenade Whistle is a fitting prop for a group of guys so dedicated to extracting the less-attractive females. Plus 8.

Of course, they could simply not bring said females back home, so ... Minus 7.

Vinny sounds the grenade whistle to rescue Sitch. What are friends for? Plus 4.

The Situation goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie and lets it slip to Sammi that Ronnie is talking to JWoww. What an instigator. Minus 6.

Snooki and Jenni bring home a couple of bitches. Pomeranians, looks like. Plus 5.

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by Free Britney at

Last night on Jersey Shore, Snooki got sprung from the can but soon reverted to her old ways, while Ronnie's doppelganger was discovered at the club and JWoww's relationship problems with Tom Lippolis reached a tipping point.

A relatively tame episode after Snooki's epic bender, but a good one.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its trademark +/- recap below:

Lecture From Dad

WHAT A QUACK: Snooki's dad relays his disappointment.

He's disappointed, but Snooki's dad takes the whole thing pretty well. Guess when your daughter once sold alcohol at a party at your house, and a trashed guest crashed his car and died on the way home, you've seen worse. Minus 12.

When her father goes off on her with the tried and true "I'm not mad, just disappointed" bit, she says "It's not like I killed someone." This time. Plus 8.

His lecture was a real deterrent for at least 12 hours. Minus 4.

Wait, was JWoww wearing a "Free Snooki" tank top? Plus 7.

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by Free Britney at

A special Monday episode of Jersey Shore certainly did not disappoint if you watch the show looking for hilarious one-liners, drama and drunken debauchery.

Why else would you watch Jersey Shore, come to think of it?

This week was a rare treat for fans, as we got to see Snooki's drunken arrest from this summer play out on TV. It was as epic as reports made it out to be.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its patented +/- recap below:

Absolute Worst Couple Ever

Oh. No. You. Didn't.

Sam's disdain for Snooki is surpassed by disdain for Ronnie. Man they suck. Minus 8. Watching these two argue may be worse than getting waterboarded.

Foreshadowing bigger, better things to come, Snooki chows down on a raw potato for no reason other than the amusement of housemates and fans. Plus 4.

Deena wants Situation. Snooki thinks she knows how she can make that happen ... by getting him into a threesome, then peacing out last minute. Minus 3.

Plus 16 for this gem from Mike, though: "Every guy dreams of having a threesome with two women, obviously. Maybe not with Deena and Snooki, but, um, I was going along with it only because it was a threesome."

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by Free Britney at

Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Fists of Fury

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

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by Free Britney at

"I'm just so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates." - Snooki

With those words, a new season of MTV's guiltiest, most unsanitary pleasure is upon us. We are back in Seaside Heights, N.J., and it feels like we never left.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Ooooooooga

We know, Sitch. We totally know.

Plus 50 for Deena Nicole Cortese's first 15 minutes at the house, shown above.

Why bother pretending these are normal people, though? Minus 9 for Snook briefing Deena on the roommates, like she hasn't seen every freaking episode.

Sammi on Deena: "I thought she was gonna be hot. I'm all taken aback." Girl, she's friends with Snooki. No offense, but come on. Minus 3 for cluelessness.

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by Free Britney at

With 2010 drawing to a close, it is with much pride that THG unveils its 10 finalists for its prestigious, Fourth Annual Celebrity of the Year award.

These stars all gave us their best, their worst, their nude pics (sometimes) and their scandals (often). This month, THG honors that greatness.

After the Kardashians kame in at #5, we present an even more useless group as our Celebrity of the Year finalist #4 ... the Jersey Shore cast!

Snooki-Angelina Fight

Love 'em or hate 'em, they left their mark in 2010.

We know. They are idiots. You can spare the "what a bunch of losers with no future and bad values" bit, because we f*%king know. Maybe that's the appeal.

You can argue how undeserving they are of fame and fortune all day long, and you won't be wrong. But doesn't that apply to many "celebrities" nowadays?

In terms of raw impact on popular culture, few have had the impact of this gang of guidos and guidettes, who rose from obscurity to household names.

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by Free Britney at

Those hoping for major fireworks or knock-down, drag-out brawls on the Jersey Shore Season 2 reunion special last night came away sorely disappointed.

On some reality shows, the reunion special is the best part. It's when Teresa Giudice flips tables and labels Danielle Staub a prostitution whores. Not here.

These people are all flirting with prostitution whore status, too. Anyway, here's THG's usual +/- recap of last night. Aww yeah, reunion show recap YEAH!!

Ronnie and JWoww

There's no love lost between Ron and JWoww after The Note.

One could argue this show is depressing, and that its cast is a bunch of losers who reflect badly on our society. Or one could say It's T-shirt tiiiiiime!! Plus 7.

Could host Julissa Bermudez be more robotic? They should have gotten Angelina Pivarnick to host without the cast knowing. We'd pay to see that. Minus 5.

Speaking of Ange, Ronnie had one of the best Jersey Shore quotes last night: "How could you not smush if you get Fossil watch? And it was white!" Plus 9.

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by Free Britney at

After some skirmishes but a lack of fireworks, the second season of Jersey Shore went out with a thud. Not really a bang. Pauly D didn't even try to get it in!

There was a trip to the swamp, a feud between friends, a last hurrah at the club, and a great line or two, but "Back Into the Fold" was more filler than finale.

Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's Season 2 finale in its patented +/- recap. Aww yeah, last recap YEAH!!

At the Glades

They really dragged this season of Jersey Shore out.

The gang heads to the Everglades. MTV is really milking the Florida thing. Minus 5.

Sitch scares JWoww with his frog legs. We mean actual dismembered frog parts, not his own legs, which are frog-like compared to that HGH-enhanced chest. Plus 4.

The restroom tryst starring the Situation during the last night at the club might have set the sanitary bar lower than ever. Not a small feat for Jersey Shore. Minus 6.

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by Free Britney at

Last night's Jersey Shore was titled "Deja Vu All Over Again." Fitting, as the plight of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino continued for a second straight week.

After the self-proclaimed King of Pimps ran afoul of Snooki last week, he struck out with more girls, got the gang booted from da club and failed as a wingman.

We felt bad ... for Pauly D. Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's episode of the show in its patented +/- recap ...

GTF Out!

Not DTF? Then GTF out!

Snooki becomes homesick after saying goodbye to her friend Ryder and contemplates leaving. Minus 7, because we know filming ends in a matter of days.

The Situation kicks a girl out of his bed after she tells him she doesn't want to hook up, leading to one of our favorite exchanges this season. Sitch: "Don't come over to somebody's house at f*%king 5 a.m. and expect to play checkers." Non-DTF Girl: "I never said anything about checkers, OLD MAN!" LOL. Guy is like 28. Plus 28.

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