Snooki met a new juicehead, Pauly D made amends with his stalker, Ronnie bled out of a major orifice and broke up with Sam, again, on last night's Jersey Shore.
Perhaps most notable, though, was Snooki's marine biology expertise. Thanks to Nicole Polizzi, we now know why the ocean is salty. Nasty whale sperm, obvi.
This and many other memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night are broken down by THG, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:
SPECIAL EXAM: This is what it's like for viewers watching Sammi onscreen.
Things are good in the Jersey Shore house. It's just the calm before the storm, but there's actually no drama or active feud as the episode commences! Plus 8.
But, as Ronnie put it after a night of drinking ended with him puking like a madman as usual, it's always "one step forward and two step backs." Minus 5.
We've seen people on Jersey Shore getting probed a lot, but never like this. Plus 4.
Despite assurances that "I've dranken a lot more than I drank tonight," Ron's arse swells to the point that we're treated to the haunting visual above. Minus 11.
Snooki fell asleep with the dogs. A more apt scenario may never transpire. Plus 7.