Victoria Beckham

It's no surprise that Posh is an anagram of shop.

Joined by husband Tom Cruise, BFFs Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham (below, left) reunite for a high-profile dinner date at The Ivy in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Holmes and Posh Spice can look forward to many more fun evenings out: The Beckhams are moving to Los Angeles later in the year, and TomKat is reportedly pushing them to convert to Scientology.

Which brings us to the next picture (above, right), in which Victoria Beckham was seen house hunting and shopping Monday in West Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Thanks to the $250 million deal hubby David Beckham signed with the L.A. Galaxy, we'd say her price range is pretty big. Slightly higher than Kevin Federline's anyway.

Now that Scientology's biggest cheerleader has lured soccer star David Beckham to L.A., he's setting his sights on his Spice Girl spouse.

The New York Daily News reports that with a little coaxing from TomKat, David and Victoria Beckham might become the next celebrity converts to the cult church of Scientology now that they're relocating to L.A.

Apparently, Posh has eagerly accepted church literature from Tom Cruise and his new wife, Katie Holmes. What's more, she'll be playing an alien in The Thetan, a new movie produced by Cruise that's reportedly based on his odd religious beliefs.

Apparently, Victoria Beckham's new BFFs have made it their mission to help the former Spice Girl become a household name in the United States. Though you have to think photographs of her giant boobs would do the trick on their own.

For her part, Holmes is trying to line up meetings with movers and shakers like Steven Spielberg. TomKat is undoubtedly feeding status-hungry Posh lines about how joining Scientology will help boost her profile.

Will TomKat's sinister plans work? Will the California-bound Beckhams renew their wedding vows in a bizarre ceremony featuring a prolonged kiss?

Who the hell knows. Or cares, to be quite frank. We do hope they all sit down for an interview with Matt Lauer to discuss it, however. That'd make for great TV.

Get ready, Los Angeles. Some seriously huge boobs are headed your way.

Sources close to Victoria and David Beckham have confirmed that the couple will move to L.A. later this year.

"David has just signed the biggest deal in global sports history with the Galaxy soccer team," a Beckham business insider said. "It is worth several hundred million dollars over five years. They will move after he finishes this season playing in Madrid."

Indeed, the hubby of Posh Spice has signed with the Los Angeles Galaxy team, which is owned by the Anschutz Entertainment Group.

Beckham isn't well-known in the States because he plays a sport less popular than the NHL. But he's more loved in England than Heather Mills is hated.

"After discussing several options with my family and my business advisers I have decided to join (the) L.A. Galaxy and play in the MLS (Major League Soccer) from August," Beckham said in a parenthesis-laden statemen.

It's the most exciting news to hit Los Angeles since people discovered Ugly Betty was actually good looking.

Don't worry, readers, Lindsay Lohan isn't the only celebrity whose boobs we'll be sure to keep you apprised about.

Ever since we saw this Victoria Beckham picture, we've been keeping a close eye on Posh's supple spices. Those around the former singer may wish to take cover.

Why? Because those puppies could pop at any minute. Just take a look at the image below. No way that skimpy shirt can hold them. David Beckham better protect himself at all times.

With weapons such as these, Victoria is more dangerous than Ashlee Simpson with a microphone.

In the immortal words of The Spice Girls, Michael Caine is telling David Beckham and his wife what he wants, what he really, really wants.

The respected British actor wants England to wait awhile before it awards the soccer star with knighthood.

Beckham is rumored to be in the running for a mention in the new year's honors list for his services to the sport and various charities, but Caine thinks it's a bit too soon.

"I've been Sir Michael for about 5 or 6 years now. [David] seems a bit young to me, I wasn't a Sir until I was 66! Sean [Connery] was 68 when he got his. Roger [Moore] was 75. How old is David? - About 30? He could at least wait until he was 33 or 34. Get a bit mature," he said.

It's hard to argue with that. But the disdain Caine expressed toward Victoria Beckham was flat out mean:

"She just goes along for the ride."

That's really not true, Sir Michael. She also wears shirts that accentuate her boobs. Nevertheless, you're entitled to your opinion.

Now let us express ours: don't ever go along for a ride with Lindsay Lohan. That firecrotch queen can't drive at all.

Victoria Beckham has no problem showing off her boobs. As for the rest of her body, however?

Posh Spice says she looks "really awful naked."

It's tough on one's body to have three children, as Victoria told the Australian edition of Harper's Bazaar. Of course, that magazine recently ran naked Britney Spears photos ... while the pop star was pregnant.

"I've got so much saggy skin on my stomach," Beckham said. "I might fit into jeans, but trust me, I look really awful naked."

Beckham, 32, adds that she has "no bum at all," despite her appearance in ads for her new fragrance, which she credits to the magic of retouching.

At this, Beyonce called in and gave Vicky some tushy tips.

These days, fortunately, Posh is focused on other things besides her looks, such as fashion design and her family, former English soccer captain, David Beckham, and their three sons, Brooklyn, 7, Romeo, 4, and Cruz, 19 months.

Lately, Victoria has been sharing her passion for fashion with another famous mom: Katie Holmes. The two were spotted together at last week's Chanel show in Paris.

Despite rumors two years ago of David's infidelity, Victoria remains by his money side.

"We've had a fair amount of câ€" thrown at us, and it can be very upsetting," she said. "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. I think we are a very strong family. It's easy to give up, and a lot of people do. We love each other to pieces. You work things out if you really love someone."

Apparently, Harry Morton never got this message.

Look, we're not ones to focus on celebrity cleavage. Really, we're not. Sometimes, Elizabeth Hurley just puts it out there, begging us to make a comment. So we oblige.

Or a Jessica Simpson picture will be such a close-up of her bosom buddies that we're afraid her crazy father will beat us up if we refrain from making a comment on them.

But we typically it's breast to leave those issues alone. (See what we did there?). In the case of Victoria Beckham, however, well, just take a look:

You win, Booby Posh Spice. At least now we know what your husband, David Beckham, practices his free kicks on. Those are more inflated than most soccer balls.

As the world awaits a possible reunion of The Spice Girls, rumors are swirling that Victoria and David Beckham have an evern grander announcement planned:

They may be moving across the Atlantic. The rich and beautiful British couple were recently seen searching for homes in the Bel Air section of Los Angeles.

Further stoking such rumors is the fact that David stepped down as captain of the England soccer football team earlier this summer. He currently plays for Real Madrid, but is speculated to be in talks to join the LA Galaxy of Major League Soccer in the States.

The star's charity has already beaten him here. The David Beckham Academy, located at Southern California's Home Depot Center, trains local youths on the field pitch. A move to LA would also help boost Victoria's Hollywood career. It's no secret she wants to be in movies. Get it?

So look out, Brangelina! Take cover, TomKat! Run and hide, Bennifer! It may soon be time to make room for ... the Beckhams.

Decisons, decisions ...

Just because you're married to the most famous soccer player in England doesn't mean the only thing on your mind is red cards and penalty kicks. Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice; aka Mrs. David Beckham) reportedly has a difficult choice to make now that her husband has stepped down as British team captain:

Relaunch her career by reforming the Spice Girls or expand her family.

It's a decision we all have to make at one time or another. As a friend of Victoria's told Now magazine, regarding a Spice Girls reunion:

"It's now or never for her as she thinks the timing is perfect. Mel C appears to be the only sticking point at the moment, but all the other girls realize this could be a terrific boost for them now - not to mention the money they could make."

This same source said Beckham wants to have another kid - to join her current crop of three - if that whole bad singing thing doesn't work out.

As much as we all enjoy a good Spice Girls joke (do you know how many it takes to screw in a light bulb?), various "performers," such as Paris Hilton," basically owe their "career" to these talentless less. With that in mind, we can only hope and pray they never return to the airways again.