by Free Britney at

David and Victoria Beckham have already caused quite a stir in the states. But this weekend, the British imports are truly going to be treated like Hollywood royalty.

None other than power couples Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith will host a private party for the Beckhams at the Museum of Contemporary Art in downtown Los Angeles Sunday.

David Beckham Armani Underwear Ad

The invitations, printed in gold lettering on deep gold card stock, beckon guests to "Please join Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in welcoming David and Victoria Beckham to Los Angeles."

What, little Suri Cruise doesn't welcome them too? That's pretty weak.

In any case, the party thrown by Tom Cruise and friends is the latest in a series of high-profile events to celebrate the celebrity couple's move to Los Angeles.

The day they arrived, they met the press as David was officially introduced as the latest addition to the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer team - which apparently exists.

Victoria Beckham also made appearances on Today and on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio program and starred in a one-hour NBC special Victoria Beckham: Coming to America.

David Beckham, who is expected to raise soccer's profile in America, has been hampered by an ankle injury, but is expected to play Saturday during Galaxy's exhibition game.

How long he will play is not clear. But you know Victoria and those large breasts and larger-than-life friends will be there to cheer him on.

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by Free Britney at

America, meet huge boobs Victoria Beckham.

Like it or not, Victoria and David Beckham are here to stay and NBC welcomed Posh Spice with a one-hour special about her move from the U.K. to L.A.

Posh Spice: Fashion Designer

Victoria Beckham: Coming to America, which aired last night, was originally supposed to be a six-episode reality show, but was cut down to an hour-long special because David Beckham was called to play for England's national soccer team and she wanted to be there to cheer him on.

The newly reinstated Victoria Beckham, 33, sat down with the L.A. Times... in a mini skirt so short that you can't help but get the occasional glimpse of her pink panties.

Now this is an interview Britney Spears would love. Some excerpts:

On her $22-million, 13,000-square-foot Beverly Hills mansion:
"I didn't want anything too big and ostentatious."

On not conforming to L.A.'s casual style:
"I don't want to change the way I dress. This is me, and if people like it, great."

On not using a stylist:
"I get quite bored with the way people look the same all the time, with the same makeup and the same outfit and the same kind of hair. I like to change things around quite a bit."

On how women dress in L.A.:
"They dress down quite a lot here, don't they? It seems to be in keeping to go to Starbucks in track suit bottoms and Ugg boots... I have one pair for non-photographic opportunities only. Underground car parks are fine, but aside from that, no."

THG NOTE: "Car park" is what people from England often call a parking lot, i.e. the place one leaves one's ride or where Lindsay Lohan services countless men.

On getting in trouble for fashion:
"I tried to customize my school uniform, because I went to a very strict Church of England school. I used to get sent into the toilet every single day at school to take off my makeup and brush my hairspray out."

On hair:
"My hair was so big in the 1980s. I went to the theater once and the person behind asked if I could flatten my hair because they couldn't see."

On her fashion line:

"This is just the beginning. I want to still be doing this in 20, 30, 40 years' time. I was never going to be the best singer or dancer or actress. I worked hard at it and I did a pretty good job. But with fashion, I'm good at it."

Yawn. As for what it feels like to wake up next to David Beckham nude each and every day, or whether or not she and Katie Holmes are cyborg clones controlled by an alien empire, we'll have to wait and see.

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by Free Britney at

Thanks, as always, to People for this collection of celebrity quotes...

"Maybe after having kids, if my boobs dropped down to my belly button, I would get them lifted. ... Maintenance. But you know, my boobs are real."
- Jessica Simpson, on not ruling out plastic surgery (which runs in the family)

Large and In Charge

"I am genuinely happy for the two of them. In fact, I sent them flowers to congratulate them both. I've spent time with her, and my girls really like her. That's all that matters to me."
- Denise Richards, on ex-husband Charlie Sheen's new fiancée Brooke Mueller

"I am now officially ordained. Yep, that's right. Reverend Tori Spelling!"
- Tori Spelling, on adding minister to her résumé, on her MySpace blog

"I think they have this impression that I'm this miserable cow who doesn't smile. But I'm actually quite the opposite. ... I'm going to try and smile more for America."
- Victoria Beckham

"It's a boat... It's kinda big."
- A Kim Porter-less Diddy, describing his yacht to David Letterman

"I'm working on the sexiest projects around the world. So to me to be on a TV show every single day at a designated period of time just wouldn't work for my schedule."
- Ivanka Trump on not wanting to co-host The View

"All of the going out he did after we broke up sort of shocked me. When we were together, he hated stuff like that, so I felt like I didn't really know him as well as I thought I did."
- Hilary Duff, on ex-boyfriend Joel Madden's post-breakup behavior

It's not about celebrity or not. It's all about, do you have that 'girl in a cardigan' in you. You gotta have that."
- Office star John Krasinski, on looking for a real-life Pam Beesly

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by Free Britney at

Victoria and David Beckham may be British tabloid royalty, but they're just starting to get big press "stateside."

So is Lucy Pinder. But for other reasons.

A Worried Fan

Soccer star David and Spice Girl wife Victoria are moving to L.A. this summer, a relocation so monumental that it's being captured by NBC cameras for a special airing July 16, entitled, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America.

Prior to the move, the couple spoke to W and revealed an unrehearsed charm that's sure to earn them many more fans in the U.S. Even more than this pic of David Beckham nude will get them.

From giant boobs to famous pals, to learning to smile for the media to dealing with scandals, the couple is ready to take on Beverly Hills... together. Excerpts below:

On how they met:
David Beckham: "I'm quite shy. I just sort of waved from the other side of the bar. I sort of said hello and then just went back to Manchester. I was quite upset and gutted."
Victoria Beckham: "I didn't really know who he was. I was never into football... He was always with his mom, dad and sister while a lot of the footballers were at the bar getting drunk."

"I could sense right from the start that David was a gentleman, and very family-oriented, which is important because I'm the same."

On knowing their callings at an early age:
David Beckham: "At school whenever the teachers asked, ‘What do you want to do when you're older?' I'd say, ‘I want to be a footballer.' And they'd say, ‘No, what do you really want to do, for a job?' But that was the only thing I ever wanted to do."
Victoria Beckham: "Everything revolved around dancing and singing lessons. I used to customize my school uniforms. I love clothes, hair and makeup. I've always been a girly girl."

THG NOTE: So has her BFF Katie Holmes. Until she went all robot.

On Victoria's plans to win over Americans:
Victoria Beckham: "I think people are really going to see me for the first time. I think they have this impression that I'm this miserable cow who doesn't smile. But I'm actually quite the opposite. When you're out there, they're trying to get pictures up your shirt, down your top... With all the flashes, it's as much as you can do to just find your car. I'm going to try and smile more for America."

THG NOTE AGAIN: Surely Tom Cruise can give her some pointers!

On dealing with rumors and celebrity gossip centering around the story that David Beckham had an affair three years ago:
Victoria Beckham: "I'm not going to lie. It was a really tough time. It was hard for our entire families... David and I got through it together. No one said marriage was going to be easy. Yes, there have been bumps along the road. But the fact is we've come out of everything we've been through stronger and happier. It's even better now than when we were first married. After all these years, we can just come home and have a laugh together."

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by Free Britney at

We know she's got some huge breasts.

Not to mention some hilariously big sunglasses.

Victoria Beckham, Daughter

But they may pale in comparison to the size of her bank account.

Victoria Beckham recently had a $500,000 closet installed for her clothes in the family's enormous new California mansion. Hey, you gotta have ample storage space, people.

She not only gets to see David Beckham nude, she gets to spend his money. A lot a lot of money. And she's got a fair amount of coin from her own days as one of them Spice Girls with Emma Bunton, Geri Haliwell, Melanie Brown and whoever the other one is.

Still, you wouldn't believe what kind of stuff you might find in Victoria Beckham's closet. And surprisingly, a submissive, mute Katie Holmes is not among them.

It supposedly features a leather floor, a crystal chandelier, $80,000 Andy Warhol shoe print, a computer that tracks when she wears items of clothing and a camera to give her a customized 360-degree "cat scan" of her outfit before she steps out.

Which is kind of a waste. We could tell Victoria Beckham every morning that she looks like a robot that should probably put on a bra - and at a fraction of the cost

No wonder she and David get along so well with Tom Cruise. These are people with so much money to burn that they probably light cigars with $100 bills on their yachts. Well, so to speak. We all know Scientology forbids things such as cigars. Pure evil.

To think, her time in America has just begun. We can't imagine what purchases are to come when Victoria Beckham starts getting a $50 million annual allowance.

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by Free Britney at

Stop the presses, ladies and gentlemen. Katie Holmes' handlers friends and prison guards representatives think that celebrity gossip site TMZ.com went too far this time.

Are they talking about incessant stories run about Suri Cruise? Or the fact that we say Tom Cruise is insane? That Katie is shackled in a $35M prison without bars day and night?

Victoria Beckham Pregnant Pic

No, of course not. Katie Holmes' peeps are mad pissed because her new bob haircut was likened to that of her BFF, Posh Spice, a.k.a. Victoria Beckham.

Apparently, her people don't see the obvious resemblance. And are, for some reason, offended that she be compared to a hot woman she obviously likes and looks up to.

According to TMZ, Katie Holmes' friends and agents are in utter disbelief at the comparison - claiming that she "has her own look" and would never bob it like Beckham. So to speak.

Check out the photos of Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham below. To us, the members of PoshKat are peas in a pod. Don't you think their hair is a tad similar?

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by Free Britney at

Although there was plenty of drama predicted for David Beckham's final game for Real Madrid - the real (side)show was in the stands as wife Victoria chilled with pals Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to cheer Posh's husband David on.

Victoria Beckham and her lame friends, all wearing obligatory oversized sunglasses, lit up the stands with superstar wattage. And weird ass hair.

Becks and Wife

Katie Holmes, 28, with her new hideous sleek bobbed hairstyle, looked like a dead ringer for new best friend Posh Spice in her short-sleeved minidress.

It didn't take long for the Hollywood couple to put on their characteristic public display of affection. The movie stars shared a kiss as Real's third goal was scored.

The previous day, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were spotted arriving at the German Church of Scientology headquarters in Berlin - at 2:45 a.m.

They took a vacation from Holmes' prison without bars to hit up Europe and visit a memorial to Count Claus Schenk von Stauffenberg, who attempted to assassinate Hitler in 1944, and to meet some of the quote-unquote religion's German leaders.

The visit has sparked fears that Tom Cruise, 44, will "inject" some serious Scientology propaganda in his next film, in which he plays von Stauffenberg.

While in Berlin, Katie and daughter Suri Cruise took the opportunity to see Knut, the polar bear rejected by his mother.

"Katie Holmes asked for a private visit and I showed her around myself," said Dr. Ragnar Kuhne, curator of Berlin Zoo.

Then the Cruises headed to Madrid to catch up with the Beckhams. Victoria, 33, held onto four-year-old Romeo, who was wearing a Real shirt with his father's number, 23, and "Daddy" on the back.

No idea how Beckham did in his final game. We didn't check. No one cares about soccer. Besides, he was probably too fixated on his wife's huge breasts to perform up to his abilities.

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by Free Britney at

Note to readers: Don't assume Victoria Beckham is any sort of unfaithful skank just because of her penchant for ridiculous outfits that showcase her huge boobs.

Much as we enjoy ripping on her, she's a happily married mother of three (and friend of Paul Sculfor) who's got her priorities right. Family before career, and loyalty to her husband above all else! Nothing but David Beckham nude for this British babe!

Posh Rocks London

You can imagine, then, Posh's reaction to Alex Rodriguez scandal.

Cheating on pretty wife Cynthia Rodriguez with a stripper? A not very hot, somewhat manly stripper to boot? Yeah. Stray-Rod is up to no good and practically begging for the high heat. Apparently hitting many home runs on the field wasn't enough for him.

Better watch out, Alex, or you're gonna pay the price - Posh Spice chin music!

It's gonna leave a welt, that's for sure. A woman who's never afraid to throw inside, you better believe Victoria Beckham won't hesitate to throw at other Hollywood screwups too. This appearance at last night's Dodgers game is just the beginning.

There's surely a high fastball earmarked for you too, Joslyn Noel Morse. Better grow eyes in the back of your head, you bleach blonde floozy!

Oh, and Coley Laffoon? You're officially on Becks' bean ball list. You too, Kevin Federline, if you don't treat Britney Spears right - whether you too get back together or not!

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by Mischalova at

We already know that Jennifer Aniston's new man used to be friends with Kate Moss. Fortunately, Paul Sculfor has kicked that anorexic model - and cocaine - problem.

But it doesn't appear as though this British model is done with his taste for spices yet. Why, exactly, was he spotted having dinner with Victoria Beckham last weekend in L.A.?

"He's just an ex-boyfriend of a friend," Posh's rep said.

Sculfor was photographed trailing Beckham's entourage outside the Saddle Ranch Chop House in West Hollywood before sitting down with the wife of David Beckham for a meal on Saturday.

Turns out the Beckham's longtime pal, makeup artist Maria-Louise Featherstone, dated Sculfor when they both were growing up in Essex, east of London. Aniston should probably be glad Paul went for this English women instead of an intimidating fellow Brit such as Keeley Hazell.

"Maria-Louise and Paul remained friends after they split," a friend told People magazine. "Victoria knew Paul when the two were dating. She hasn't seen him for about 10 years so it was a great chance to catch up."

Let's just hope Sculfor didn't get too taken with Posh's giant boobs. Jennifer Aniston nude may be gorgeous, but few can best Beckham in the chesticular category.

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by Free Britney at

For reasons unknown to our celebrity gossip staff, Victoria Beckham took home Woman of the Year crown at the Glamour Magazine awards last night.

The fact that there are Glamour Magazine awards, and that we are writing about them for a living, is almost funnier than Victoria Beckham winning one. Almost.

In taking home the hardware, she was dressed like a total harlot - a posh-tit-ute, if you will (and we will) - in what appears to be a tuxedo-auto racing chic outfit. So damn hot!

Alhough for former Spice Girl and future reality TV star was touted by the editor as "a role model" and "indicative of the modern woman," as far as our staff can see it, Victoria Beckham's only notable recent accomplishments appear to be:

  • Constantly looking hungry
  • Pouting like a stuck-up beeyotch
  • Shopping with Katie Holmes
  • Walking around like a robot
  • Possessing enormous boobs
  • Seeing David Beckham nude
  • Hating The Hollywood Gossip

Role model indeed ... for bitches, cyborgs and hoes, maybe! What. What!?

Other "glamorous" women honored at the event included Sienna Miller - who said she had too much wine to make a speech - and the "musical" group Girls Aloud (think Pussycat Dolls with British accents).

We're guessing Katie Price, a.k.a. Jordan, wasn't available.

The ceremony was somewhat redeemed by also giving awards to Angelina Jolie, Beyoncé and Helen Mirren - though none of them showed up to receive their awards. Maybe that explains Posh winning... someone's gotta accept, right?

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