by Free Britney at

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are being torn apart, according to a new tabloid report. But it's not a third party or an emotional rift wreaking havoc ... it's the FBI!

Presumably, Star magazine is referring to Tom's slave labor Scientology bus or what have you. It's impossible to guess how the feds would actually be involved.

Katie Holmes Looking Good?

All we can tell you is that it must be a slow week in celebrity gossip, because even if nonsense like this were true, is TomKat even on people's radar at this point?

SHOCKING! Look at that photo of federal agents compiling evidence. Eerie! Likely from an unrelated crime scene 700 miles away, but still ... such powerful imagery.

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by Free Britney at

It's been awhile since we've read an old-fashioned Tom Cruise / Scientology expose full of outrageous allegations, but this certainly makes up for lost time.

According to Radar Online, the actor demanded his custom-built bus be the base for Katie Holmes' "Purification Rundown Program" prior to marrying her.

The trailer-style bus was allegedly built by the church's underpaid staffers, who put nearly 9,000 hours of "slave labor into its production for the star.

TomKat on the Red Carpet

The FBI is reportedly investigating the Church of Scientology for human trafficking and using free labor, in part to meet the demands of its celebrity icon, Cruise.

Tom insisted on a custom drawer for his slippers because the neat-freak didn't want anyone walking on the carpet, a former high-ranking church staffer claims.

In an internal email, Cruise's requests for upgrades were outlined, according to the church's former Inspector General Mark Rathbun. So what does it matter?

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by Free Britney at

Come on Star.

At least the recent cover story about how Jason Trawick abused Britney Spears had shock value, even if it was lacking in some areas (namely facts).

Same with the new story about someone getting Amber Portwood pregnant. Unconfirmed, but certainly eye-opening ... and more or less believable.

But Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise on the rocks for the 47th time? Yawn. 

Katie Leaves Tom!

The worst part? Star can't even get its verb tenses straight.

First of all, you know it's not true. Second, TomKat is sooo 2008.

Also, hack tabloid editors, they can't be SEPARATED if she hasn't even left him yet, which the sub-heading implies by saying she's "leaving" Tom. Weak.

If you've got the goods on a Teen Mom pregnancy scandal AND the Miley Cyrus bong video (and the latter actually exists!), why not lead with those instead?

Pick it up, guys. You're capable of so much better.

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by Free Britney at

Stop the presses.

We hope you're sitting down, because In Touch is about to drop a BOMB on you. Katie Holmes is not only sleeping in the guest room, she's on birth control!

That's Bad Hair, Holmes

After four years of marriage and only one child, one would kind of assume that, but hey. As for moving into the guest room, how would they possibly ... you know what, forget it. Just prepared to be shocked and awed by nothing:

For a supposed bombshell, this looks like a non-story.

Come on, ITW. With all the real (Teen Mom) and surreal (Brangelina) news potential out there, we'd think you could do better than this snoozefest.

We expect much better next week. At least give us some alleged sexual Tomfoolery on the Mission: Impossible 4 set if you're going the Katie route.

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by Free Britney at

Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes. Cute little Suri. A broken home. We don't believe any of this is true, but it makes for a compelling celebrity gossip magazine cover.

Apparently there was nothing too juicy on Angelina's nanny this week, because Star decided to go the TomKat route. What is this, 2006? C'mon, guys. Weak.

While we love any reference to the "marriage deal" that binds them (because they're cyborgs and/or she's his beard, don'cha know), we just don't see it.

A Broken Home

FALLING APART? Doubtful, but it sells magazines. Presumably.

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by Free Britney at

Happy birthday to Tom Cruise, who is kind of the man.

Yes, he jumps on couches, gets married a lot and shares opinions on political and social issues that many would consider out of the mainstream. We know this.

But what's really wrong with the guy? He's been one of Hollywood's biggest stars for almost three decades and for all the weirdness, is basically harmless.

He's fun, makes cool movies and seems to care most about being a good husband to Katie Holmes and a good dad to kids Isabella, Connor and little Suri.

What more can you ask for, really?

Tom Cruise is 48 years old today. Man, has the actor ever aged well ... in reality, he looks nothing like his hilarious, middle-aged alter ego Les Grossman!

From Risky Business to A Few Good Men, the Mission: Impossible series, Tropic Thunder and Knight and Day, he's been one of the most successful stars ever.

For good reason.

So cheers to you, Tom, on this third of July. Many happy returns, and keep up the awesome work. Click to enlarge some classic Tom Cruise pictures below ...

  • TomKat on the Red Carpet
  • Cameron and Tom
  • Tom and Connor
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by Free Britney at

If you never saw Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder, his hilarious, off-the-wall antics at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday served as your introduction to Les Grossman.

Now the cutthroat movie producer is getting his own film.

Cameron and Tom

In a press release, Paramount Pictures and MTV Films announced that the development of a comedy focused on the foul-mouthed Grossman was in the works.

Ben Stiller and Stuart Cornfield are producing the project.

The press release from MTV phrases the movie’s development as if Cruise's character, with Les himself announcing the new film in typically humble fashion:

“To quote my great friend Kirk Lazarus, ‘I don’t read the script, the script reads me.’”

Tom Cruise/Les Grossman is ready to spank the competition.

Stiller, one of Cruise's Grossman’s Tropic Thunder co-stars, says “He has assured me he plans to, quote, ‘F—ing kill the sh– out of this movie and make “Citizen f—ing Kane” look like a piece-of-crap home movie by the time we are done.’"

That pretty much sums it up right there.

Paramount President Adam Goodman added: “Everything I learned in this business, I’ve learned from Les. I started out as his assistant, and from the first day he threw his desk at me when I got his lunch order wrong, I have loved him like a father."

Like Get Him to the Greek, in which Russell Brand reprises his Forgetting Sarah Marshall character Aldous Snow in a starring role, this sounds like a potential hit.

At the very least, it'll help Cruise's image a bit. His popularity has dipped as more people view him as kind of a crazy individual, but he's still a talented, fun guy.

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by Free Britney at

One of the highlights of the MTV Movie Awards was Tom Cruise – as movie mogul alter ego Les Grossman – getting down with Jennifer Lopez in a surprise cameo.

After an intro from Ludacris, two worked it to her song "Get Right," and the results were as funny as any Tropic Thunder quotes from Cruise's infamous character.

As teased in promos, the slightly crazy actor made an impression with this and other performances (a skit with Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner) last night.

Rather amazingly, Cruise held his own with J. Lo ...

From her reaction, it looks like Katie Holmes approved of her husband's dancing as much as we did. Check out a video of the performance after the jump ...

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by Hilton Hater at

In 2008, Tom Cruise tried to become a box office star again by starring in a drama (Valkyrie) based around Hitler and the Nazis. Bad idea.

A couple years later, the slightly insane movie star has come up with a far more effective plan: appear in a MTV Movie Awards promo with Robert Pattinson.

In the hilarious video below, Cruise takes on the persona of Len Grossman, the foul-mouthed Hollywood producer he portrayed in Tropic Thunder.

When the Twilight Saga stud informs Grossman that he might actually wash hair for the MTV event, Grossman goes off on him, screaming:

"Your filthy hair made you a star! Your filthy hair sent my fat-*ss kid to Space Camp four times!"

It's great stuff. Watch now:

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by Free Britney at

Past and present co-stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are among the first presenters announced for this year's MTV Movie Awards, according to reports.

We haven't seen Mr. Crazy Pants in awhile, so that should be exciting. Hopefully there's a couch for him to jump on ... or a montage of Suri Cruise photos.

The actors will be joined on the celebrity telecast by Diddy, who is also a confirmed presenter. All this should make for an exciting, star-studded evening.

In addition, MTV has announced three new categories in this year's show: Biggest Bad-Ass Star; Best Scared-As-S--- Performance and Global Superstar.

Tom and Cameron

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz on the set of Knight and Day.

For the first time, fans abroad will also have the chance to vote in the latter category by visiting their local MTV sites. North American fans can vote for their favorite nominees in all the categories beginning May 12 through June 5.

This year's MTV Movie Awards will be hosted by Aziz Ansari (known for some of the funniest Parks and Recreation quotes) and will air live on June 6 at 9 p.m.

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