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North Korea is back in the news this week, with the renegade communist state conducting more missile tests and exuding much machismo.

As one of the world's few remaining autocratic tyrants, 65-year old Kim Jong Il, the country's head of state, hates America with a passion. Or so he claims. We think he's merely jealous, and afraid of a hostile takeover. The supposed movie buff clearly fashions himself a Hollywood icon. See below:

  • Kim Jong Il Picture
  • A Tom Cruise Pic

While the well-documented, mostly-harmless insanity of Tom Cruise pales in comparison to this possibly-nuclear-armed psychopath, one cannot help but note the uncanny style similarities. We'd be willing to bet the despot owns Jerry Maguire on DVD.

Sadly for Kim, it looks Cruise has more clout on a global scale -- and not just because the actor's net worth may surpass North Korea's GDP. This week's missile tests came off looking like mere posturing when the Taepodong 2, a touted long-range weapon, lasted only 42 seconds in flight before crashing into the ocean, leaving nations Kim hoped to intimidate ambivalent.

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THE PLACE: Lake Elsinore, California.

THE EVENT: The Lake Elsinore Storm vs. High Desert Mavericks.

THE PROMOTION: Tom Cruise Bobblehead Night.

Big-Time Movie Star

We couldn't make that up. Lake Elsinore's minor-league baseball team paid tribute to popular and possibly insane actor Tom Cruise during a California League game last week. Besides a giveaway of Cruise bobblehead dolls -- depicting the star in full Oprah couch-jumping mode -- the storm celebrated the "silent birth" of Tom and Katie Holmes' baby, Suri, with a "silent inning," during which no batters will be announced and no music played.

The Church of Scientology, of which Cruise is an ardent follower, specifies that no music and no talking take place during human birth.

Other activities planned by the San Diego Padres' Class A affiliate included a couch-jumping contest, a Scientology information session and sign-up booth, and a retrospective of Cruise's movie career. And, of course, the Storm's opponent on this special night happened to be the Mavericks.

"It was originally going to be a 'Top Gun' anniversary promotion and it just sort of evolved from there," said Jeff Joseph, a spokesman for the Storm.

Cruise's Top Gun character was named Maverick in the film, for those of you who have been living under a rock for the past two decades. Late calls to Cruise's publicist were not returned. Which is a shame, because those would have been some good prank calls!

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Suri Cruise was a much anticipated baby, so when no pictures of her surfaced, questions were bound to be asked. Immediately after Suri's birth in April, it was proclaimed that she is "extremely beautiful, has lots of dark hair and big blue eyes" and that proud father Tom Cruise was going to show pictures of his child with Katie Holmes (below) on the May 12 episode of Ellen.

But there have been no pics.

K. Holmes, T. Cruise

Some have speculated that Tom wanted more money than the $3 million he was reportedly offered for the rights to Suri pics. Brangelina reportedly got a cool $4M for whoring out Shiloh, and Tom wanted to be in that league or he wasn't about to play ball. Or so the theory goes.

But now, a source close to Cruise offers a new theory: that the lack of pictures is simply another by-product of the star's insane Scientology beliefs.

"Tom insists he'll do it in his own time. He won't be bullied into showing his world his precious angel. Tom wants to obey Scientology rules about keeping babies out of the public eye," an alleged friend of Cruise's told Grazia magazine.

According to Scientology doctrine, parents should avoid taking newborn babies out unless absolutely necessary. As Cruise is an avid follower of the sect, perhaps he is merely adhering to his beliefs and is not the money-grubbing lunatic we thought he was. Well, at least not the money-grubbing part.

Cruise's friend did not comment on whether Scientology permits naked, pregnant pictures of the baby's mother to be released to the public (please see a very interesting, recent Britney Spears nude photo spread), but that's neither here nor there.

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Nicole Kidman and crazy former spouse Tom Cruise may have pulled a fast one on the Catholic Church and blinded it... with Scientology!

While it has been speculated that Kidman got her first marriage annulled so that she and Keith Urban could marry in a Catholic chapel, it turns out she and Cruise weren't legally married in the first place -- as far as the Catholic Church is concerned, at least.

  • Nicole Kidman is Spanish Gold
  • A Tom Cruise Pic

Father Paul Coleman, the longtime Kidman family friend and priest who presided over the Kurban nuptials in Sydney, Australia, told the BBC that in Kidman's first marriage, the requirements for a valid union were not fulfilled. She wed Cruise in private, in accordance with his Church of Scientology views.

"The Catholic Church sets down requirements to have a valid Catholic marriage," he said, referring to this past Sunday's wedding as a spiritual homecoming for Kidman.

You don't have to be Catholic yourself, interestingly, but you do have to seal the deal in a Catholic place of worship, which Cruise and Kidman did not. Therefore, while Catholicism frowns on divorce as a rule, the fact that Cruise and Kidman parted ways in 2001 did not affect her second trip down the aisle.

Chances were slim that Kidman would have been granted an annulment, though, given that they were legally married for 10 years, a long time to suddenly claim that the union was fraudulent, entered into under misleading circumstances or other such reasons people give for erasing a marriage from the record books.

On a happier note, after Kidman and Urban were cleared to get hitched in a romantic, cliffside Catholic ceremony, they were good to go on a romantic, secluded honeymoon before returning to their new home in Nashville, Tenn. The newlyweds were spotted boarding the blushing bride's private jet and were reportedly bound for either Fiji or Tahiti.

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The barrage of Brangelina pictures and an endearing photo shoot involving little Kingston James McGregor Rossdale have left the eager American public pining for pics of the mysterious, still-unseen Suri Cruise.

The reason pictures of Suri have yet to be released could be because new parents Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are concerned about privacy -- but it could also simply be because no magazine coughed up enough cash.

Suri Cruise and Katie Holmes Pic

According to a Fox News report, photo agency WireImage was given a chance to take pictures of the infant just after birth. As happened with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's baby Shiloh, the agency conducted an auction with People, Us Weekly, Star, and others to decide who would get exclusive rights to print the snapshots.

But unlike Shiloh, however, whose pictures garnered a reported $4 million from People, the bidding for Suri ended at $3 million, which her parents apparently decided wasn't enough to go ahead with the shoot. Now that Suri is an ancient three months old, her prices has declined even further.

"Shiloh was the whole deal," a source told Fox. "We won't see a baby like that for a while."

Cruise might be the world's biggest star, but his offspring is clearly second fiddle. At least he has a few hundred million dollars to ease the pain.

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Tom is Cruising solo in Japan this week, flying across the Pacific as part of a promotional tour for Mission: Impossible 3.

Fiancee Katie Holmes and baby daughter Suri were nowhere in sight, but clearly on the minds of the Japanese media.

Big-Time Movie Star

"Unfortunately, I wanted to bring them but Suri, it'd be too much for her, we're only going to be here for a day and a half," Cruise told reporters.

Suri is the only one of the recent deluge of celebrity babies who has yet to be seen, making the media frenzy surrounding Cruise (already the world's biggest star) extraordinarily high.

At the press conference, the crazy one gushed about his three kids (he has two adopted children, Isabella, 13, and Connor, 11, with ex-wife Nicole Kidman) and, at one point, said he hopes to have 10 offspring someday. Gulp.

He did not comment on whether each of their births will conveniently coincide with the premiere of his films.

When asked whether TomKat will become official and marry, Tom responded that they "haven't set a date yet, but soon, it'll be this year."

The two are reportedly finalizing a prenuptial agreement before making it legal. After the Japan premiere of M:I-3, Cruise is expected to ride the bullet train to Osaka with 150 fans on Wednesday. Along the way, he may or may not ridicule fans for their beliefs in psychiatry.

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That couch-jumping, finger-pointing and chemical imbalance-bashing psycho, Tom Cruise, has drawn the ire of many Americans over the past year.

But there's no doubting his bottom line.

Taking the Questions

According to Forbes' annual "Celebrity 100 Power List," which ranks famous people based on earnings and overall buzz, Cruise is still the world's #1 star. The actor earned a reported $67 million last year alone, generating headlines every step of the way and making his way to the top of Forbes' decidedly unscientific rankings of TV, film, music and sports stars.

"It's what kind of currency does the star's name have," editor Lea Goldman said. "It's increasingly important how they are perceived both in industry circles and commercial circles, and this list represents who has cachet in both arenas."

Cruise became the only celebrity to top the list twice, having reached the pinnacle in 2001.

"He's one of the few guaranteed bankable stars. No one in Hollywood can negotiate the kind of salary he gets," Goldman said.

In terms of raw earnings, Tom's $67M did not win out. But in terms of raw pain? He's a hands down victor. Dismissive comments about postpartum depression and Brooke Shields, a passion for Scientology and a whirlwind romance with Katie Holmes all made Cruise the most talked-about celebrity of the year by far.

Which is sad, because hard-working, under-appreciated standouts such as Britney Spears really need to get more attention.

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Several sites including Hello! Magazine are reporting that Tom Cruise congratulated Brad Pitt on the birth of daughter Shiloh Nouvel with a card proclaiming, "Congratulations! You're following in my footsteps!"

So original and clever.

Hunky

Tom also sent little Shiloh a teddy bear (pictured).

According to the Daily Mirror, "Tom and Brad have had a friendly rivalry since acting together in Interview With A Vampire. The card was taken in good spirits."

No word on whether or not Brad returned the favor and sent Suri, Cruise's infant daughter with Katie Holmes, a gift.

Tom reportedly sent Horace, the Longfellow Bear, manufactured by Steiff, the world's self-proclaimed best-known manufacturer of high-quality Teddy bears and plush animals.

Horace, a 1904 reproduction and a limited edition of 1,500 bears, costs a ridiculous $460, making him only slightly less overvalued than the Florida housing market. However, Shiloh will surely appreciate such decadence, given her humble Namibian roots.

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She was a natural on American Idol, enduring herself to fans across the nation... not to mention celebs in her native L.A.

Apparently Katharine McPhee is building quite the fan base. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have taken a liking to the American Idol runner-up, with the current rumor being that Holmes met the spunky 22-year old at the Church of Scientology in Los Angeles. The two hit it off, and McPhee has apparently been asked to perform at their wedding.

Katharine McPhee at the NY Musical Eighth Seasons Award Gala

According to Hollywood.com, after McPhee lost out to Taylor Hicks on the Idol finale, Cruise and Holmes asked her right away to perform.

"Tom and Katie have become Katharine's biggest fans," a source said. "They think she's destined to become a singing legend."

That, or Cruise can't resist the whole "TomKat" name. KatKat does make an attractive couple:

Either way, Cruise and his bride-to-be are big McPhans, and it's hard to blame them (although McPhee's purported association with Scientology is a tad worrisome). The singer is also reportedly meeting with director Steven Spielberg to discuss possible film projects. Wow. Between McPhee and Chris Daughtry, it's beginning to look like coming just short of being named American Idol is the way to go.

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Numerous sources report that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have finalized their prenuptial agreement, which would give Holmes $3 million annually, up to $33 million, if she stays married to the insane one for 11 years. A home in Montecito, Calif., will also be hers.

If the marriage lasts more than 11 years, the contract becomes void and Holmes gets half of Cruise's estate. The two reportedly plan to wed soon.

Tom and Family

Holmes' parents have told Life & Style Weekly they want Katie to marry Tom now, in spite of their serious doubts regarding the relationship.

"If she walks now, Tom will fight her for custody [of Suri, the couple's infant daughter], and Katie can't outlast him in court," an insider told Life & Style. "She knows she needs to marry him to get the money to fight him for custody, if it comes to that."

Wow, now that's a quality motive. Marrying someone to get their money, so that you can finance a court battle against that person. Amazing.

In any event, it will be interesting to see how many million Katie will bank before it becomes too much. While it would take a lot to marry an individual whose mental capacity is eroding before your eyes (and whose star may be falling), $33 million is sizable motivation. We're thinking of starting a pool, so stay tuned.

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