by Free Britney at

In the 1999 film Magnolia, Tom Cruise's character, Frank T.J. Mackey, an author of a self-help guide for men, tells his audience that before any women will sleep with them, they must "respect the cock!"

Someone should have told Tom that back in high school.

Valkyrie Star

He's been a heart throb for decades, but according to sources, no one wanted to end up in the clutches of a young Tom Cruise (right) at Glen Ridge High School in New Jersey, where the future movie star was quite the competitive wrestler.

"Even then everybody knew who he was, but it wasn't because anyone thought he'd be a movie star," says a former competitor at rival Seton Hall Prep.

Cruise was particularly adept at a hold called the "High Crotch," which involves, well, an arm between the legs of one's opponent.

"The pain it caused was excruciating to say the least," the wrestler told Steppin' Out magazine.

A rep for Cruise, stunningly, declined comment on the story. On a similar note, no information is available on the subject of Tom's strange habit of pile-driving fiancee Katie Holmes, then smashing chairs over her head.

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by Free Britney at

Does Suri Cruise actually exist, or is this all a well-orchestrated publicity stunt? Given the dearth of evidence to support a conspiracy, such as a bogus birth certificate and some very fake-looking pictures of alleged mom Katie Holmes, we are convinced there is no baby. But do fans across the nation share our opinion, or are we going out of our minds? That's precisely what the Gossip wanted to find out with our EXCLUSIVE POLL (above, right).

As of the time of this post, 231 of you have voted, with 58 PERCENT believing that there is no baby. If you have not cast your vote yet, please do so, as we can gauge the general population's opinion more accurately with a larger sample size! There appears to be widespread belief that this is all a hoax, or at least very suspicious.

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Image

Below is a sampling of some reader comments we've gotten re: Suri. Some of them may surprise you. Others may offend you. All are pretty much guaranteed to amuse you:

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"Suri?!? More like surreal! No way this kid exists." -- Amanda

"Wow, that picture looks totally fake... if she really WAS that big, then her stomach should be much lower. I know everyone carries differently but come one... also, there is no possible way to be wearing regular jeans when you are that big. Well, I suppose there is but it is SOOO uncomfortable." -- Teresa

"I believe she's real. Why she would stay hidden all this time is weird though." -- V

"There is no way that a woman's stomach can appear as Katie's does in this [sic] pix. It does not look real, and even though my teen tried to tell me, I am now convinced that Suri is fake also. Shame on TomKat if it's not true." -- Missy

"OK, well... I have actually believed that there really was a baby. But... either there was some doctring [sic] to this pic or that is a totally fake tummy. I've had 2 kids and all my friends have too, and I have NEVER seen something as freaky as that! lol" -- Katherine

"Here's the REAL question: which is more real - Suri Cruise or Ashlee Simpson's chin? At least we've seen a picture of Ashlee's chin." -- Allen

"I honestly believe that Suri Cruise is fake. I love Leah Remini but i think that Tomkat asked her to say that they saw her just so people wouldnt catch on to Suri not being real." -- CoJo

"I CAN'T WAIT TILL EITHER TOM OR KATIE COME CLEAN & TELL THE PUBLIC IT WAS ALL FOR PUBLICITY & THERE NEVER WAS ANY 'BABY'!!!" -- Barbara

"ya know - who cares - I was a huge Tom fan from the early 1980's - after he totally dissed Nicole Kiddman [sic], I could care less about him, who he is currently bedding nor his freaky alledged [sic] child - don't care!" -- DeeCee

"I don't get it - we criticize celebrities so often for being in the spotlight too much. Now, we have a loving couple choosing to keep their baby and private life private … and we make fun of them for it? What does that say about our society? Our need to be nosy?" -- Donna

"Suri is real and she's almost 8 months old; born last December, daddy unknown. Remember Katie got really big really quickly?! She was '3' months and looked like 8 -- and don't forget Katie is tall... tall women usually hide the bump well. And did anyone actually believe the whirlwind romance in the first place? But these guys are supposed to be actors -- you really think they could have done a better job -- stoopid heads! Neither of them have ever really struck me as mental giants -- which might explain why the bump kept changing size. The real question is... why did they bother in the first place? We'll see Suri when she's too old to tell the difference -- e.g. 'is this a 12 or a 16 month baby?'" -- Claire

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by Free Britney at

We would love to post a picture of Suri Cruise here today, on this, the 100th day after she was supposedly born. But since she isn't real, you'll have to settle for an ordinary pic of plain ol' TomKat. Sorry! What is your opinion of the alleged baby? Is she real, or the total farce / PR stunt we believe her to be? Leave us a comment or vote in our poll (above).

Tom Kat Photo
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by Free Britney at

Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson may be tying the knot this weekend in St. Tropez â€" marking the first of at least four vow exchanges the on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again lovers have planned â€" but don't expect TomKat to follow suit.

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise Pic

According to TV Guide, a spokesperson for Tom Cruise said that the rumors of a weekend wedding the actor and his (possibly-fake) baby's momma, Katie Holmes, are bogus. As far as the source claims it knows, the plans are for nuptials to be exchanged in late summer/early fall at one of Cruise's homes and not in Holmes' hometown of Toledo, Ohio.

In a statement, Toledo expressed a collective, "Thank you!"

In a blog, The Hollywood Gossip offered a hearty, "We'll be there! Just tell us the date and time and we'll show up!"

P.S. Suri Cruise is not real.

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by Free Britney at

First, Leah Remini. Now, Jada Pinkett Smith. The list of people who claim to have seen Suri Cruise has reached a whopping two.

  • Jada Pinkett Smith Pic
  • Katie Holmes: Real or Wax?!

She's one of the sweetest babies I've ever met in my life," Pinkett Smith said, according to hollyscoop.com. "She's an absolute beauty and she's Daddy's little girl."

Come on now. Doesn't anyone else find it interesting how these supposedly close friends of Tom Cruise are saying how great the baby is and blah blah blah, yet for some reason, there are no pictures of them visiting TomKat?

With photographers taking up residence in the bushes, for God's sake, how would freaking Will and Jada Pinkett Smith go unnoticed visiting Cruise's mansion? This is getting awfully weird, indeed.

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK.

Is Suri real or a complete sham? Leave a comment on this post by clicking below, and be sure to vote in our poll (top right).

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by Free Britney at

It still needs a little polishing, but Colin Farrell (right) is getting his impersonation of Tom Cruise down pretty nicely, our friends at TMZ.com report.

The Irish actor, who is making the rounds promoting his new flick, Miami Vice, and who is in the midst of trading restraining orders and lawsuits with crazy author Dessarae Bradford, appeared on the Today show and talked with host Matt Lauer.

  • Thomas Cruise Mapother 4
  • Former Bad Boy

The 30-year-old Farrell wasted little time in lambasting Cruise, who famously scolded Lauer last year in a heated debate about the merits of psychiatry.

"Stop being glib, Matt! You're glib, Matt, you're glib, you're glib!" said a joking Farrell, referring to Cruise's remarks about Lauer's glibness from last year.

Farrell continued his Cruise-bashing on Live with Regis and Kelly, taking a lap around the audience during a commercial break, then returning to his seat and stating that he was doing his "best Tom Cruise impersonation."

While the Gossip is unsure while Farrell has taken it upon himself to mock Cruise on the talk-show circuit, we are highly entertained.

Meanwhile, the New York Daily News reports that Bradford, Farrell's alleged stalker (or stalking victim, depending on what you read) who staged a press conference Monday announcing her third lawsuit against the actor, didn't actually file anything. Stunning.

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by Free Britney at

Tom Cruise is, at last, master of his domain.

Name.

TomKat on the Red Carpet

Yes, at long last, the U.N.'s World Intellectual Property Organization has awarded the actor custody of TomCruise.com, and has ordered the webmaster who has been operating the site to turn the URL over to its rightful owner.

Cruise is just one of hundreds of celebrities whose names were snatched up by Canadian businessman Jeff Burgar, who used the URLs to redirect visitors to his website, Celebrity1000.com. Burgar owned and operated TomCruise.com since 1996.

He is well known to the WIPO, having previously gone before the panel to argue his right to ownership of the domain names such as CelineDion.com (he lost), KevinSpacey.com (lost), PamelaAnderson.com (lost) and BruceSpringsteen.com (won, and still maintains the site), among others.

Lawyers for the nutcase actor argued that:

  • Cruise had "common law trademark and service mark rights" to the term Tom Cruise
  • Burgar was making money off the actor's name through third-party ads on his Celebrity1000.com site
  • Visitors to the site might be confused into believing that Cruise was somehow affiliated with it.

In response, Burgar claimed the site was a fansite that included a bio of Cruise and that his use of the domain should be protected by free speech. The WIPO panel disagreed, however, stating in its decision that "free speech does not, by definition, entail a right to take unfair commercial advantage of a trademark."

As of Monday, the website was still listed under Burgar's Alberta Hotrods organization, though typing in the address led to an error message.

Other Cruise-related domains, such as TomCruise.net and TomCruise.org, were registered to Trout & Zimmer, a Burbank, Calif., firm that helps companies register and acquire domains. A rep for Cruise had no comment on the big web victory, or on whether his daughter, Suri Cruise, is real.

It's not the first time Cruise has tangled with the web. Last fall, he was the victim of an Internet hoax in the form of a fake press release posted on a British website that touted his upcoming series of lectures on mental health topics, including one supposedly regarding his sexual preference.

Then, in October 2005, the Church of Scientology took exception to a Cruise-bashing site â€" ScienTOMogy.info â€" complaining that the site infringed on the Church's trademark. While the operator of the site, which offers a vast collection of Cruise-mocking material, originally agreed to change the domain name, it remains up and running.

Most recently, we saw the short-lived SuriCruise.com, an unauthorized site that offered a clock counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until Cruise and Katie Holmes‘ daughter, supposedly born April 18, came of legal age.

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by Mischalova at

One is already being trained to save the world, while the other may or may not exist. Both Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise will be kept warm this winter, however.

Swedish knitwear designer, Suss Cousins, has given Tinseltown's two most famous toddlers her gift of the yarn. Let's first take a look at Shiloh's new sweater, an outfit that features this newborn's face alongside Zahara, the adopted child of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt:

Baby Brother For Suri!

Next, we have Suri's personalized present. The Gossip can only assume the "S" on front stands for "Scientology," "Sham" or, perhaps, "Scientology sham."

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by Free Britney at

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have not been hiding three-month old baby Suri from all their friends. So says Leah Remini, star of CBS' hit comedy The King of Queens, who has reportedly seen the mystery baby.

"She's a newborn and normal size!" Remini gushed. "Tom and Kate... want to have a life and raise their baby. They're normal parents. [Katie] is the most serene, gracious, sweet human being."

Suri Shops with Katie

Remini, 36, also claims to have bought Suri shoes. Talk about a waste of money. Why? Because this "sighting" proves nothing. Suri Cruise does not exist, people, and sooner or later, the cover-up will be exposed and people will realize that this is all an incredible sham.

NEWS FLASH: Remini is, like Cruise, is all into that Scientology garbage.

These people are complete lunatics who have no qualms about lying for one another and brainwashing new members. Leah also had a recurring role on Saved By The Bell back in the day. Relevance to this blog? Zero. But she's still a publicity-hogging liar, and until we see Suri pics, we are not buying any of this crap. So there.

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by Free Britney at

According to the New Yorker magazine, Steven Spielberg had a falling-out during and after the filming of his epic, War of the Worlds, over its high-profile star's use of the movie-related PR platform to rant about his odd Scientology beliefs.

Spielberg was steamed at the increasingly insane Tom Cruise for ranting about his "religion" during what were supposed to be promotional appearances for the movie. According to the article, in one instance, Cruise railed against the widespread use of Ritalin to treat unruly children.

Tom Cruise And Steven Spielberg Photo

Moreover, the New Yorker reports that after Spielberg mentioned to Cruise the name of a doctor who prescribed Ritalin, the doctor's office was picketed by Scientologists. Can you blame them? There is NO SUCH THING as a chemical imbalance, dammit!!

However, the acting heavyweight and world's biggest star must have smoothed things over with the directorial legend since then. Both were on hand and looking happy as ever as Spielberg accepted a lifetime achievement award from Tom at the Chicago International Film Festival Saturday.

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