Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila has a large pair of breasts and... not much else to offer society.

Therefore, it's nice to see the bisexual celebrity at least putting her one asset to good use.

She's taking part on an online auction sponsored by the Keep A Breast Foundation, which donates all money received for painted, plaster breast casts to cancer research, detection and prevention.

So far, the highest bid for a copy of Tila's boobs is $44,500. The auction will be open through November 6.

“I am so excited to be able to work with Keep A Breast Foundation!” Tila wrote on her blog. “It’s a great charity... and now my boobies are at $44,500.00!!. Incredible!!! I’m gonna cry of joy!"

Tequila has promised to call - and kiss! - the winner of her auction. She'll also donate $10,000 for people to Tweet about the Keep A Breast Foundation and the bidding.

We never thought we'd say this, but: great job Tila Tequila! Way to put your breasts to work in a way that doesn't involve random fondling and exposure.

As you've probably seen and heard (approximately once a week for the past two months) Levi Johnston has been on a media tour bashing Sarah Palin.

Last year, Levi knocked up the former Alaska Governor and Republican V.P. candidate's teenage daughter Bristol, then pretended to be engaged to her until the campaign was over. Now that it is, Levi's not holding anything back!

But Meghan McCain, daughter of Palin's running mate John McCain, thinks he should focus his time and effort elsewhere. Like on raising his baby son.

"I think he should go back to Alaska and take care of his baby, which he claims he wants to be doing, but I just see him going to events," Meghan said.

Not posing in Playgirl? Come on, Megs, cut him some slack!

Tila recently claimed San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman roughed her up over Labor Day weekend, but the D.A. decided not to press charges.

"My heart goes out to her," Meghan said. "I think she's going to do a civil trial. Obviously, I think any abuse towards a woman is just reprehensible."

Added the younger McCain of her pal Tila, "She's a fighter!"

Sure thing. Click here for more Meghan McCain pictures!

Desperate to milk attention after the San Diego County D.A. decided not to press charges against Shawne Merriman, Tila Tequila zeroed in on a new target:

Chris Brown.

The back story, if you're unaware: Tila alleges that Merriman, who plays for the San Diego Chargers of the NFL, assaulted her at his house a week ago.

He said he was only trying to keep her from leaving his house and driving home drunk. She may have been jealous about a foursome he wanted to have.

Merriman was arrested, but D.A. said yesterday he would not be charged.

Angry that she can't milk this for more attention justice will not be served, Tila egged on admitted woman-beater Chris Brown over and over on Twitter.

Note that Chris, who recently pleaded guilty to assaulting Rihanna, is not involved in this whatsoever, Tequila just started a Twitter feud for no reason.

But it got so bad that Brown felt the need to respond:

"NOT TRYNA BE RUDE but i keep hearing tila bringing my name up. ur 15 seconds of fame has ended. dont try to gain fans by dissing me. godbless."

At least he took the high road, mostly, though he did get in a small dig.

Not that we blame Chris for firing that one back, since he's already been punished by the court and public... and has nothing to do with Tila Tequila.

The San Diego District Attorney will not prosecute NFL star Shawne Merriman after Tila Tequila said he choked her and trapped her in his mansion last week.

"After a thorough review of the investigation into the incident at the home of Shawne Merriman, we have determined there is insufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that any crime was committed," the D.A.'s office said.

"The case is now closed."

San Diego Chargers General Manager A.J. Smith said of his star player: "It's good news for Shawne. We're happy things worked out for him on the legal front."

Tila called 911 after allegedly being choked and restrained by the linebacker at his home in Poway, Calif., last Sunday, and had Merriman arrested for assault.

Police said Tequila, who was hospitalized, appeared to have been drinking heavily. Merriman said he was trying to restrain her from leaving and driving drunk.

Other witnesses corroborated Merriman's account, noting that Tila was both hammered and jealous of other girls Shawne wanted her to have a foursome with.

Legally in the clear after investigators apparently believed his version of events over Tila Tequila's, San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman is all kinds of fired up.

Whatever the reason, no charges were filed against Merriman. But Tila's rep is not letting the issue die (surprised?) lashing out at the D.A. via this statement:

"Tila Tequila is the victim of a violent crime. The San Diego D.A.'s decision not to press charges against Shawne Merriman for the battering of Tila Tequila demonstrates an unconscionable negligence in the discharging of their public duties."

"We strongly feel that justice has not been served in this matter."

"Obviously, The San Diego Charger's [sic] NFL franchise brings millions of dollars in revenue to the city of San Diego, and it appears clear that other interests are being served by the DA's office than the upholding of the law."

"A young woman was violently beaten and choked, and the physical evidence is both overwhelming and disturbing. Tila's account of these events has remained consistent from the beginning, while Merriman's story has changed repeatedly."

"Just because the DA made this reckless decision doesn't mean that justice will not be served. No one is above the law. Tila Tequila will immediately begin pursuing civil charges against Shawne Merriman and she will have her day in court."

Whose side are you on?!

Much has been written about the incident Sunday involving San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman and reality TV star Tila Tequila at the NFL star's home.

Well, this latest account, from San Diego's 10 News, suggests that Tequila was "unhappy she was not the only woman getting attention from Merriman."

Jealousy thus played a role in the early morning altercation.

Witnesses at Merriman's home said the three-time Pro Bowler went to his bedroom with two women, and Tequila was asked to join in by Merriman.

Naturally, Tila Tequila reacted angrily and threatened to have sex with a member of Merriman's entourage. According to sources, Tequila was drunk at that point, and proceeded to get naked, then attempted to leave the house.

Tequila accused Shawne Merriman of choking and throwing her to the ground while she was trying to leave the house. Tequila signed a citizen's arrest warrant accusing Merriman of battery and false imprisonment. Both are felony charges.

The football star will not discuss specifics about the case. Asked to clarify his relationship with Tequila, the linebacker immediately contacted his attorney.

Tila Tequila is an attention whore of the worst kind.

Which is normally all good. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag know what they are and have no qualms about milking every ounce of PR they possibly can.

Trying to cash in and plug "future projects" (whatever the hell those are) by calling attention to a violent assault you claim to have suffered is low, though.

Even for a woman who calls herself Tila Tequila.

A week after she says she was assaulted by Shawne Merriman, her NFL star boyfriend, Tila has reached out to her fans with a voicemail message.

Rather than laying low and letting this die down, her plea for this "nightmare" to go away is really just a ploy to get more attention and publicity.

Feel sorry for me! Pay attention to me! [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

“I’m just trying to get away from this horrible nightmare,” she says, adding that she just wants to move on, which is totally untrue, as this has her back in the news. “Everything’s gonna be alright. I’m just trying to look forward now.”

If that were true, why post this voicemail?

After lying about wanting to focus on something else (as she herself brings the incident up again), Tila encourages fans to give her a call at 860-256-8452.

We just hope her password is 1234 like Lindsay Lohan's voicemail.

Here's Tila's shameless ploy for attention message to her "fans" ...

Tila's Message

Reality star Tila Tequila said (via her Twitter page of course) that she will meet with the San Diego County District Attorney's office on Friday.

The D.A. is reviewing reports regarding the assault she alleges was committed against her by Shawne Merriman, her NFL star boyfriend, early Sunday.

Tila Tequila accuses the Chargers linebacker of choking and throwing her to the ground while she was trying to leave his suburban San Diego home.

She signed a citizen's arrest warrant accusing Merriman of battery and false imprisonment, both felonies, and was hospitalized. No charges were filed.

Shawne Merriman says he was protecting Tequila, who he says was drinking and intended to drive home. "I was concerned about her welfare," he said.

Merriman also that he wants to clear "his name" and "put this behind me so I can continue to focus on a successful season for the San Diego Chargers."

Tila Tequila and Shawne Merriman offer differing accounts.

Tequila, whose real name is Tila Nguyen, has denied Merriman's claims that she was drunk at the time, even claiming she is "allergic to alcohol."

The Tweets from Tequila's account this morning said "I will never be a VICTIM of anything. So when someone lays a hand on me then lies. Its on."

She followed that up with more than 30 updates in the next hour, including accusing Merriman of lying in his statements to the media about her.

"Damage control. Blame Tila. Make her look bad. Send it out to the media so they don't [sic] believe her! Quick! Cover it up!," Tila Tequila Twittered.

A San Diego County spokesman said the DA's office can reject the accusations, or refer them to the San Diego City Attorney's Office for consideration.

Whose side are you on?

An attorney for Tila Tequila rejected the denials of San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman and maintains that the player assaulted the TV personality.

The two got into some sort of conflict Sunday morning. Merriman claimed that Tila was drunk and he was keeping her safe by keeping her off the road.

Tequila's lawyer, Alan Gutman, says that's not true, there was definitely an assault on his client, and Shawne's story will be "completely discredited."

Gutman said in a statement:

"Shawne Merriman and his advisors have apparently decided that the best defense is a good offense, attacking Tila Tequila in the press with a lot of calculated spin to cover up his illegal and indefensible actions."

"Fortunately, we as a society will not tolerate a 6'4", 270-pound all-pro NFL superstar physically assaulting a young lady who is 4'11" and 93 pounds. It is never justifiable to brutally assault, choke, strike and imprison a woman."

Courtenay Semel can't like Shawne Merriman looking at Tila like this.

"Once the truth is fully revealed, Mr. Merriman's fantastic story of how he was trying to keep Ms. Tequila safe will be completely discredited. No one, especially a woman, should ever have to endure what Mr. Merriman did to Ms. Tequila."

There's something about reading "Ms. Tequila" that makes it hard to take this too seriously. Couldn't use her real name in your statement, Alan Gutman?

Merriman was arrested in San Diego early Sunday morning after Tila accused him of choking and restraining her when she tried to leave Shawne's home.

The three-time Pro Bowl selectee and known steroid user will join the Chargers in beating the crap out of the Oakland Raiders on Monday evening.

The Labor Day weekend arrest of San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman has seen comments from attorneys, police officials and even the Chargers GM A.J. Smith, but none of the parties actually involved had commented - until now.

Shawne Merriman sent a statement to FOX Sports regarding the incident that led to a "citizen's arrest" filed by reality TV star Tila Tequila against him. She says Merriman assaulted her, choked her and physically restrained her.

Merriman's side of the story? Tila Tequila, his girlfriend, was drunk and out of control, and he was only acting to keep her safe. His statement reads:

"On September 6, 2009 the San Diego Sheriff's Department responded to a citizen's complaint that was initiated by Tila Nguyen (a.k.a. Tila Tequila).

I was taken into custody based upon that complaint. At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided.

Shawne Merriman and Tila Tequila were/are apparently dating!

We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their safety. I in no way caused any harm to Ms. Tila Nguyen.

However, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported. She was released and has since returned to Los Angeles, California.

There have been no charges filed against me. I want to thank the San Diego Sheriff's Department for their professionalism. I will continue to cooperate fully.

I look forward to clearing my name regarding these false allegations. I want to put this behind me so I can focus on a successful season for the Chargers."

Neither Tila Tequila nor her reps wanted to comment ... well, except for by bombarding her Twitter page. Here's what she says about Shawne's allegations that she was drunk. No way that's possible, because, obviously:

Looks like Shawne Merriman took a shot at love, all right.

And choked and forcibly restrained love from leaving afterward.

Tila Tequila was hospitalized Sunday following an altercation with her boyfriend, who plays and sometimes takes steroids for the NFL's San Diego Chargers.

The San Diego Sheriff's Department received a disturbance call from Tila Tequila (real name Tila Nguyen) at 3:45 a.m. She told deputies she had been choked by Shawne Merriman and, when she tried to leave, he physically restrained her.

Tila Tequila signed a complaint accusing the NFL star of battery and false imprisonment. Shawne Merriman remains in custody at San Diego County Jail.

Tequila's rep declined to discuss her condition, but there was no sign of trouble hours earlier as the two partied at the local hot spot Stingaree.

"Shawne Merriman and Tila Tequila arrived and joined a birthday celebration with friends already going on in the penthouse," a club rep said.

"Merriman and Tequila stayed until closing in the early hours of Sunday morning. They seemed in good spirits throughout the evening and were enjoying themselves. There was no indication of any problem between the two of them."

Some were not even aware they were an item, as Tila has kept a remarkably low profile (for her) about the romance. Unlike, say, Courtenay Semel.

Merriman, 25, has been a bit of a sports and gossip staple over the past few years, notably for his 2006 suspension for the use of performance enhancing substances and having to sit out the entire 2008 season to nurse a knee injury.

You can add assault on a reality TV star to his resume. In fantasy football news, you probably want to drop the San Diego defense now if you own it.

Choose your side!