Tila Tequila

Warning: Tila Tequila has posted the following on her Twitter account.

Therefore, one should take it with a grain of salt the size of her fake boobs.

But the 28-year old reality star has written:

“BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I am going to become a SURROGATE MOTHER for my brother & his wife!!! That is my xmas present to them. I’m pregnant!!!!… I love my brother! This will change his life and mine forever!!!”

We agree, assuming this Tweet contains an ounce of truth.

Earlier this month, Tila announced she was engaged to Casey Johnson. She often makes The National Enquirer seem like a reliable source.

Tila Tequila pregnant? Maybe. Tila Tequila a few cards short of a full deck? Always.

Just a few months ago, before she got (possibly fake) engaged to Casey Johnson, Tila Tequila was dating San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.

That relationship ended after an altercation at Merriman's house, in which Tila claims she was assaulted, but Merriman says he was merely protecting her.

She was plastered, he maintains, and he tried to keep a nude Tila Tequila from driving home drunk after turning down his generous offer to join a foursome.

The police did not charge Shawne, due to lack of evidence, which enraged Tila. She's suing Shawne for battery, false imprisonment and emotional distress.

Now the NFL star is suing back, claiming she's lying about what happened just to ruin his career ... and is also infringing upon his trademarked logo. Really.

Shawne Merriman says Tila Tequila is defaming him out of spite.

In his lawsuit, Merriman claims Tila lied when she said he "choked and attacked" her, "sleeps with minors and forces them to take drugs," and makes drugs at home.

Shawne claims in court docs that Tila Tequila admitted her lying scheme, even stating, "yes that is why I did a 'spin' now ... cuz now everyone is LOVINGGGG me."

We don't know what happened that night, nor do we necessarily believe Shawne. But Tila Tequila lying to get attention? Not exactly a huge stretch.

Merriman isn't only suing for defamation, either. He says Tila is also guilty of trademark infringement by using his quasi-famous "Lights Out" logo on her website.

The player also claims Tila's accusations screwed up a deal he was about to sign to produce a line of T-shirts for Walmart and says she interfered with his contract.

Over the past couple months, Tila Tequila has claimed Shawne Merriman abused her; ranted naked on video; and accused Rihanna of spreading Herpes.

But just when we thought the troubled bisexual couldn't get any loopier, she announced on USTREAM last night that she's engaged to Casey Johnson.

"This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow... my girlfriend has asked me to marry her," Tila said, flashing a 17-carat ring and adding: "My baby takes care of me. Beat that J.Lo! Beat that Khloe and Lamar!"

Prior to possibly popping the question to Tequila, Casey Johnson was best known for allegedly lighting Courtenay Semel's hair on fire.

Because each has been through difficult circumstances involving an allegedly violent man over the past few months, you'd think Tila Tequila and Rihanna would turn to one another for comfort.

But when asked in a recent interview who she would most want to "mute," Rihanna pointed to the troubled bisexual.

The most polite thing to say? No. But worthy of Tequila's rambling, accusatory response? Not exactly.

After hearing about Rihanna's comments, Tequila took to her blog and wrote the following. No joke or pun can even do it justice. Take it away, Tila...

My sources are very legit, and they work in Rihanna’s legal camp, and that is how I know! SO RIHANNA HAS HERPES, STD’S & WAS SCARED TO SPEAK OUT ABOUT IT CUZ SHE DIDN’T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT SHE HAS HERPES AND INFECTED SOMEONE ELSE WITH IT! BAD RIHANNA!

In real life you are a major bitch who could give 2 shits about your fans and all the people who have been supporting you! Including myself!

Rihanna has STD’s and Herpes everyone! & that is the truth from my legit source that has told me. YIKES! So boys, be careful when u wanna tap that ass, cuz that ass will give your dick Herpes if you dont put 3 condoms over it!

While we question the validity of these statement, if anyone knows a lot about STDs, it's Tila Tequila.

Considering her wild, incoherent, naked video from a couple weeks ago, it's clear this woman truly needs help. She's headed down an unstable path that even Britney Spears would shake her head over.

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at The Hollywood Gossip!

What would this traditional holiday be without family, food, football and reflection upon the things we appreciate most in life - in the case of THG, that means some of the turkeys we had the privilege of covering this year.

With that said, we present our Top 10 Turkeys of 2009 ...

10. Kanye West and Richard Heene (tie). Perhaps it's unfair to include him by virtue of one incident, but Kanye's hijacking of Taylor Swift's VMA speech was an all-timer. He's almost as full of hot air as Richard Heene's invention.

9. The Kardashians. Pregnancies. Breakups. Marriages. Reality shows. Twitter accounts. Blogs. So many Kardashians, so few ways to escape them.

8. Miley Cyrus. Whether she's grinding on stripper poles, angering Asians, making up her own controversies or deleting her Twitter, the teen can be a bad influence.

7. Tila Tequila. A late entry to the list thanks to her ustream rant. There's no PR stunt she won't stoop to, or article of clothing she won't remove, to get attention. 

6. Spencer Pratt. 2008's top turkey staged two weddings, caused an epic fiasco on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, pimped his own wife to Playboy and pretended to get a vasectomy on The Hills. For him, a relatively tame year.

Sorry, Spencer Pratt. You're only our sixth biggest turkey this year.

5. Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston (tie). One's a possible 2012 presidential candidate, the other the 19-year-old unwed father of her grandson. Both have gone rogue (one baring all in Playgirl, the other in a book by that name). Neither shuts up.

4. Perez Hilton. Talk about a fowl human being. With every ounce of fame the celeb gossip magnate garners, the more his own celebrity goes to his head and the more damage he does to his own causes. That will.i.am fight won't be the last.

3. Dr. Conrad Murray. Worst. Doctor. Ever.

2. Carrie Prejean. The dethroned Miss California became a phenomenon after voicing her opposition to gay marriage. She went on to become a self-serving, hypocritical, lying solo sex tape star who throws hissy fits on Larry King.

1. Jon Gosselin. No explanation required. When you're talking about turkeys, there's the Ed Hardy-wearing d-bag and there's everyone else playing for second.

The biggest turkey of the year, ladies and gentlemen. Need we say more?

Tila Tequila is not known for keeping her clothes on. Or for not appearing in videos that appear online as desperate ploys for attention. That's her bread and butter.

Just the same, the "Internet celebrity" says the leaked, alleged Tila Tequila sex tape making the rounds on the world wide 'net isn't her - and she's gonna sue!

After a 10-second clip of Tila in a compromising position surfaced on the website 4tube.com, Tila’s lawyers said her laptop was stolen and action would be taken.

Tila, however, sings a different tune on Twitter, writing: “There is no sex tape! If I had one it would have come out a long time ago, don’t you think? Geez.”

She makes a valid point. She would've leaked it herself.

A relatively classy Tila Tequila pic. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Tequila also acknowledges that her attorneys are taking action against whomever is slandering her: “Whomever is out there slandering my name, my attorney has filed to take action. You don’t f--k with me & think you can get away with it!”

THG NOTE: Can you really slander her of all people by suggesting she would make a sex tape? There was an insane Tila Tequila nude video rant last week.

Anyway, Tila's lawyer is working OT this week. She is currently suing her ex boyfriend, NFL star Shawne Merriman, for allegedly battering her this fall.

She is requesting $1.5 million in damages, but given that police did not pursue criminal charges against Merriman, we have doubts she'll be getting it.

Another week, another bit of naked drama for Tila Tequila.

The "star" claims a "sex tape" was stolen off of her laptop.

Just days after her Ustream naked video rant shocked the world, a sex tape surfaced on a porn site (4tube.com) showing Tila in a compromising position with a naked man.

Why the Tila Tequila sex tape is surfacing now, we have no clue. Nor does Tila, who claims it was ripped from a laptop that she reported stolen roughly two years ago.

She's threatening to sue the site for posting the clip.

You don't often see Tila Tequila this clothed. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Tila's lawyer, Cyrus Nownejad, who's a busy man these days, says "A police report has been filed for Tila's stolen laptop computer which contained that specific clip."

He adds of his client's naked video of the day that "I am currently in the process of sending a cease and desist letter and a notice of intent to sue if it's not removed."

Clothed and actually sounding somewhat coherent, Tila Tequila attempted to explain her disturbing naked video meltdown that she posted on ustream yesterday.

Tila says she made the video after experiencing flashbacks from her alleged violent altercation with NFL star Shawne Merriman, her then-boyfriend, in September.

She says he assaulted her, but the police didn't press charges. Tila has since sued Merriman, and says amid the pressure, she "just kind of flipped out a little bit."

Ya think?

The best part of her explanation for the video? She says she's no Rihanna, and unlike the popular singer, she feels compelled to talk about the alleged abuse.

Tila Tequila tries to justify her naked video rant.

Never mind that Rihanna did talk about her abuse by Chris Brown - to the cops, who charged him with a felony. She just didn't talk to the press about it.

Rihanna has also now opened up about the incident in graphic detail in extensive interviews. Criticizing her for "not coming forward" is irrelevant and unfair.

Look, we're sorry Tila is so messed up, regardless of what happened with Merriman, and hope she gets help. But don't blame your problems on Rihanna.

Somehow we doubt the "Umbrella" singer made Tila show us a tampon to prove her vaginal cleanliness, masturbate or whip out a gun naked. Just saying.

Typically, a video of Tila Tequila, naked, and ranting like a loon would be fodder for endless jokes and puns.

But it's never funny when someone falls this severely off the deep end.

Late last night, the troubled bisexual filmed a ustream video of herself. It's since been taken down, but consider yourself lucky if you didn't actually watch this train wreck explode.

Appearing nude, Tila goes off on alleged woman beater Shawn Merriman; removes a tampon to prove the cleanliness of her vagina is; masturbates; and then pulls out a gun!

This grainy photo is courtesy of the ustream video in question:

Said Tequila during her rant:

"I am an angel... because I am here to save the world with my army... People call me an attention whore... but excuse me I'm a grown ass woman and I'm confident in myself... I think a woman's body is a beautiful thing... that's why I'm a lesbian... I was born naked... anybody who is against that is gay and in denial."

In a statement to TMZ, Tila's attorney, Cyrus Nownejad, said he thinks the "domestic violence" incident with Merriman in September "pushed her over the edge."

The lawyer acknowledges something is majorly wrong with Tequila and he's exploring options to find her help. We hope she gets it.

Tila Tequila wants you to feel sorry for her.

While we certainly wish her no physical harm, the girl has zero credibility, which may be why police decided not to charge her then-boyfriend, Shawne Merriman, in the altercation that took place between them in September.

Just the same, Tila Tequila is letting her bruises do the talking in a lawsuit she just filed against the NFL star, who she says grabbed her, shook her like a rag doll, threw he down and choked her during an argument at his house.

In the lawsuit, Tila included photos showing bruises on her arms and noting the disparity in height and weight (Tila is 4'11", 93 lbs. Shawne is 6'4", 280 lbs).

Which proves nothing, of course, but here they are ...

Tila Tequila says this proves Shawne Merriman assaulted her.

Tila says in her suit (for battery, assault, emotional distress and false imprisonment) that the San Diego Chargers linebacker had a bad temper combined with a drug problem, and that he humiliated her because of her bi-sexuality.

Merriman served an NFL suspension for steroid use the season before last.

Shawne's version of events that night? He wanted Tila to engage in a foursome with himself and two other girls, she flipped out and refused, and he had to physically restrain her from driving home naked and intoxicated.

The San Diego County D.A. declined to file criminal charges. She might have better luck auctioning off her breasts than banking on a big settlement here.