by Free Britney at

With Mike Vick and his cohorts safely behind bars, PETA is going after the evil Olsen Twins, dedicating an entire website and MySpace to that effort.

Fittingly, they have dubbed the anorexic former child stars "The Trollsens" and individually named them Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen.

The animal rights group is targeting the traveling freak show petite actresses for wearing fur and also including it in their individual fashion collections.

A PETA statement reads: "No one would argue that Mary-Kate and Ashley could use some meat on their bones, but the last thing they need is hair on their backs."

Olsen Twins Look On

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, you just got served. And we're sure as hell not talkin' about a plate of food. Couple of frail, anorexic waifs, these two.

Indeed, the truth hurts. The Trollsens MySpace reads:

"Hi, we're Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen. Like most trolls, we live under a bridge and wait for furry animals to walk by so we can skin them and wear them as hats. Because we're celebrities, we don't have to live by the same rules that ugly people like you do, and if we want to wrap ourselves up in someone else's skin, or drape our bodies in the rotting remains of someone's family, we totally can! And do we ever!"

Of course, these words may fall upon deaf ears. Living in their little troll bubble and only emerging occasionally for naked trysts with Lance Armstrong or Sean Avery, the Olsen twins likely don't give a rat's behind about this. Just saying.

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by Free Britney at

Looking like the (poorly-dressed) living dead as always, the lovely Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen enjoyed a "full house" on their 21st birthday.

Olsen Twins Look On

Literally.

More than 150 family members and friends, including Bob Saget, the rest of the cast and most of the crew from the television show Full House - the series that spawned their fame in their infancy - showed up to watch the twins blow.

Out the candles.

Big-time celebrity guests like Joaquin Phoenix and Olivier Martinez were on at the Olsen Twins' party, Us Weekly reports, to celebrate the big event.

Also there was Kirsten Dunst, who was dancing around with pals to the retro rock and roll tunes, which included Blondie and The Kinks. No word on whether or not Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell, her shaggy purported boyfriend, was there.

Later, Mary-Kate Olsen was seen making out with boyfriend Max Snow, and the two later jumped into the pool together... with their clothes on.

The newly legal duo took great pains to keep out would-be party crashers, closing down the street in front of their house and hiring security to maintain order.

At one point, there was a tearful tribute from family and friends who took turns giving speeches about the oh-so-powerful girls.

"It was really heartfelt but a great time," says a source close to Ashley Olsen and Mary-Kate Olsen. "Everyone danced all night."

Shortly after 11 p.m., Ashley Olsen addressed the crowd.

"I would like to thank everyone who came out tonight to celebrate with me," Ashley said. "I hope we will have many more happy memories this next year."

Ash closed out her speech with some touching words for Mary-Kate Olsen.

"No one could understand me the way you do," said one of the Olsen Twins to the next. "Nobody could relate to me the way you do. In fact no one could tolerate me the way you do!"

She's right - this celebrity gossip site sure can't!

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by Mischalova at

One look at Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen makes it apparent these skeletons are far from powerful.

Nevertheless, they had been included on 2006's Forbes list of the 100 most powerful celebrities. This year, though? Not so much. We always said the pair should eat more.

Everybody Together: Awww!

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie also fell off the 2007 list, thanks to waning interest in their reality series The Simple Life. And their lack of talent, perhaps.

Meanwhile, Oprah Winfrey, who consistently cracks the top 10 with earnings of $260 million a year, came in first place this year.

While compiling the list, Forbes considers income, while also taking into account factors such as media interest and the number of friends on stars' MySpace pages (in which case, Tila Tequila should rank first; she has over one million).

Lindsay Lohan was on the list for two years, but dropped off in 2006. Britney Spears, who was ranked No. 1 in 2002, bowed out the following year and hasn't been back since.

Big-time actors cleaned up this year, with Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp, who earned $92 million last year, coming in at No. 6. and The Da Vinci Code's Tom Hanks jumping from No. 31 to No. 11.

Brad Pitt finally made it into the top 10 for the first time with a No. 5 ranking.

In other news: child stars are fast on the heels of their adult contemporaries. Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe (No. 79) and Emma Watson (No. 97) join the list for the first time, along with Dakota Fanning (No. 94).

"We're seeing young kids bringing in adult salaries," Goldman says.

Along those lines, look for Suri Cruise to make the list in 2008.

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by Free Britney at

We can't believe we wrote that, either.

Usually, when we mention the Olsen Twins, it's to point out that they are frickin' loaded, looking possessed, dressing for Halloween in January, or freaking the hell out of former Full House star Bob Saget.

Nate Lowman Picture

But in these pictures, they look kind of hot. Or at least normal.

Last night, at the Costume Gala, Mary-Kate Olsen (right) looked like a wet blackbird dipped in tar, but compared to some of her past outfits, we can dig it. Plus, the goth thing kinda does it for us (and Marilyn Manson). 

Ashley Olsen, meanwhile, looks downright almost fine. Well for her. There is the whole side-boob action, but mostly what we like about this pic is that she doesn't look too Satanic and ghostly. Well, that's not entirely true.

Look, the point is that it's a step in the right direction for these two. Ashley was escorted by Christian Louboutin to the event. Hope he has a lot of money. No word on whether Max Snow escorted Mary-Kate.

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by Free Britney at

Are you troubled by the odd fashion sense of Mary-Kate Olsen and sister Ashley Olsen? Are you as disturbed as Bob Saget every time you see the Olsen twins, for that matter?

We are. But in this exciting new eBay auction, you can at least pretend they know how to dress themselves. By doing it yourself, that is!

Olsen Twins Look On

Seriously, you can bid (by follow the link above, for just $8.00) on these terrifying adorable Olsen twins dolls in a convertible, rocking in their very own "apples and oranges" PJs. Great. Sadly, a Max Snow doll is not included...

If you're crafty, you can make them their very hobo lumberjack outfits or bags that might weigh as much as they do. Not the dolls, but the actual twins. Think of all the fun things you can do with these!

Other eBay items we'd love to bid on if it were possible
:

  • The knives responsible for Ashlee Simpson's bad plastic surgery
  • An autographed picture of the entire Brangelina clan
  • Kevin Federline's debut album (just kidding)
  • A date with Haley Scarnato
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by Mischalova at

According to a recent interview given by Kim Kardashian, she really isn't all that rich.

The same definitely can't be said of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. According to Forbes magazine, the thin, ghastly sisters are the top-earning stars under the age of 21.

Olsen Twins Look On

The duo â€" who don't turn 21 until June 13 â€" made an estimated $40 million in 2006 thanks to their "tween" market base, ages 8 to 12. That makes sense. We know adults, such as former Full House star Bob Saget, aren't buying such crap.

The number-two wealthy minor in the spotlight, according to the financial publication, is Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe. We wonder if the fact this actor is baring it all in the London West End production of the stage drama Equus will cause this ranking to increase or decrease.

Lindsay Lohan came in third, with $6 million in earnings. And you wonder why Brody Jenner is going after this actress.

Okay, maybe you don't.

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by Free Britney at

Bob Saget can't believe it. At the DVD Release Party for "Farce of the Penguins," he was confronted by his longtime TV daughter. Both of them.

Having blocked out his years on the G-rated series Full House, the surprisingly foul-mouthed comic was stunned to learn that the adorable Michelle Tanner was actually played by two girls - identical twins Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen - and that neither has enjoyed a good meal since they were on the program. Nor do they own mirrors...

Nate Lowman Picture

We're with you, Bob. We're with you. Seeing the Olsen Twins always delivers a shock to our systems as well. Saget also was overheard wondering aloud why the hell Stavros Niarchos would hit that, and asking where Candace Cameron was.

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by Free Britney at

Despite her ever-changing hair color, Mary-Kate Olsen (below, left) has kept one constant in her life - anorexia. Oops, we mean her boyfriend. That's Max Snow. He's a New York rocker type, people say. He may or may not be an actual musician (our research team is trying to confirm that), but he's a rock star in the eyes of Mary-Kate.

Max and his hobo lumberjack girlfriend, who have been an item since October, head out for coffee before checking out an L.A. art gallery on Thursday. Looks like they are having a fun time. Which is great, because Mary-Kate should enjoy herself now before Max Snow stars railing Paris Hilton, as is customary for her beaus.

Nate Lowman Picture

Meanwhile, sister Ashley Olsen, who's gone back to blonde herself, shows off her dark sense of style during a solo shopping outing in Beverly Hills on Thursday. Oh, those crazy Olsen Twins, always having to look the same. Which reminds us, there are probably some Full House re-runs on somewhere. That Kimmy girl is so hot!

Is it just us, or does Ashley look like an evil villain of some sort in that picture? Or a zombie? She and the vampire who possessed Britney Spears yesterday should hang out.

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by Free Britney at

Oh, those crazy Olsen Twins.

Tired of having her boyfriends pilfered by the Hilton Sisters, and weary from having shunned food since 1999, Mary-Kate Olsen has become deranged. How else can you explain this look (below, left)? She looks like a drunk, homeless lumberjack in no pants. That's hard to top. 

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

Wow. David Katzenberg would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.

Meanwhile, her sister Ashley Olsen (above, right) looks surprised to see the light of day as she steps out of a car. The glare shouldn't come as a big shock when you live in Southern California... unless, of course, you happen to be a crazed, baby-eating zombie.

Dressed in black from head-to-toe, Ashley luckily avoided transforming into a bat on Monday by escaping into a safe haven known as Barneys. Phew.

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by Free Britney at

We used to think the Olsen Twins would turn out alright. Okay, that's not true. But we had no idea they would devolve quite this hard. Once a cute pair of child stars, they've been stripped of all that is human, courtesy of a long and hard Hollywood upbringing - and probably a fair share of mind-altering drugs. Now the zombie cyborg freaks are out for blood.

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

Seriously, don't they scare you? They look robotic, more machine than woman, more terrifying than attractive. Ashley Olsen has bigger problems than being on PETA's $h!t list, and Mary-Kate Olsen can forget about parking tickets or losing all her men to the Hilton sisters (speaking of which, wonder how good ol' David Katzenberg is doing these days). They've officially lost their minds.

If you love your children, hide them from the undead. Do so now. These chicks are dangerous. On the plus side, at least zombies get hungry, unlike Nicole Richie.

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