by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Joe Giudice has been indicted on charges of fraud.

And while wife Teresa Giudice may not exactly be bribing a jury to send her man to the pokey, sources say she won't be broken up if Joe does end up behind bars. It will be great for her career, after all!

Teresa Red Carpet Photo

"If Joe goes to jail, there will be sympathy for her," a Real Housewives insider tells Us Weekly. "And she'll get a spinoff about life as a single mom. She'll do a book deal, too: My Life Without Joe or something like that."

Another source puts it even more bluntly: "I've heard it time and time again: The second Joe goes to jail, Teresa's getting her own show."

All close to the show agree that Teresa aims to break free from The Real Housewives of New Jersey and follow the path laid out by Bethenny Frankel, who has buily her own brand and empire.

In the meantime, we'll ask: Would you watch a Teresa Giudice reality show?

 

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey had a field day last night. 

No, really. They called it Field Day when the whole gang got together to have some fun. So who can't get through the day without a meltdown? 

We'll break it all down for you in THG's +/- review.

Teresa Giudice on The Real Housewives of NJ

Teresa Giudice heads home after Kathy's party and tells Joe all about the argument with her brother. Well, that's a mistake. Wasn't she just telling her brother that he shouldn't share their conversations with his wife?

Minus 10. She should really take her own advice.

Joe Guidice reaction has become so typical of him I'm no longer surprised. He tells his wife, "You're a f**kin' idiot for even talking to your f**kin' brother." 

Nice. Minus 12.

But it actually gets worse. After cursing out his brother-in-law he tells Teresa the Gorgas aren't allowed in his home. When Teresa says that will upset her parents Guidice says he'll kick them out too. 

He ends his tirade by telling her, "When I say something, you f**kin' listen and shut up," and if she doesn't he threatens to leave her and the kids.

What a guy. Minus 20.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Here comes the drama.

Hanging out by the pool. Doesn't that sound relaxing? Yes, unless you're on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Then it's pretty much the exact opposite.

Then you'll probably need a stiff drink to get through an afternoon in the sun.

We recap all the fussing, feuding, and name calling in our THG's +/- recap!

Teresa G. Photo

How can you not love Caroline's mock phone call between Teresa and Joe? It was hilarious. Plus 10

And why does Caroline think Teresa hates Melissa. Because "she's a better, younger version" of Teresa. Plus 8. That sounds about right.

But as everyone else is discussing Teresa's behavior, Teresa is telling her husband her version of the Solstice party and Joe has some definite opinions.

First, Melissa is a horse-face, gold digging tramp. Caroline is boring. Rosie's a butchy boy, and the idiot cousin (I can only assume he means Kathy ... no offense to Kathy) looks like a frog. 

Joe Guidice certainly has an opinion about everyone but the scariest is the one he holds about himself. He tells Teresa he's the powerhouse and she doesn't need anyone else. Minus 12. What happens when they haul his sorry butt off to jail again?

Oh, and Teresa says her brother is a little pansy for telling his wife about their conversation. How can you not love family?

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated the Summer Solstice by trying to open up their third eye chakra on last night's episode. Yeah, we don't know what that means either but we break it all down here in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa is excellent ... at placing blame. On taking responsibility, not so much.

First off she's still upset about her husband's black eye which of course is all Richie's fault. Minus 12. I'm sure poor Joe was just an innocent bystander in that scuffle.

Who is she kidding? But in usual Teresa fashion she can't let it go. She even tells Rich he could have poked his eye out. 

Real Housewives of NJ Pic

Joe's a big boy. I'm sure he can fight his own battles.

Of course it's hard to tell who has the brains in the Guidice family. We know Joe's had at least one DWI, then was caught driving with a suspended license, and finally took someone else's ID to try and get a new license. Minus 15.

Somehow the guy can always find a way to make a bad situation worse.

Teresa cries about what's being said in magazine articles about her and her family but even Jacqueline realizes that Teresa's making her own problems there so Plus 8. She agreed to do the interview and I'm sure she got paid handsomely for it. Now she's crying?

While everyone's down the shore their problems simmer under the surface. The kids look like the only ones having fun but they're also allowed to run wild.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Only five "star" contestants remained on Celebrity Apprentice going into Sunday night, so every flip of the hair was critical to stay in the competition.

So to speak. The contestants were tasked with a hair-raising project.

Lisa Lampanelli proclaimed herself project manager for Team Forte, while The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Guidice led Team Unanimous.

The teams were tasked with creating a four-page print ad for the CHI Touch Digital Touchscreen hair dryer, and pitching it to Farouk Systems and Elle.

  • Lisa Lampanelli Pic
  • Teresa Giudice Celebrity Apprentice Pic

Lisa and Clay Aiken decided to capture the Elle girl by featuring women whose outward appearances don't always reflect who they really are. Sweet.

When the models arrived for Team Unanimous' shoot, meanwhile, Aubrey O'Day decided she should replace a professional model. She worked it hard.

It didn't work. Lisa's team won the task and $100,000 for charity, and Teresa Giudice got the chop for the losing team ... oh, but there was more to come!

The remaining contestants had to interview with former stars John Rich and Marlee Matlin, and Lisa's torment of Dayana Mendoza caught up with her.

Although she's a funny lady, she did not win over the interviewers and her humor was too much for the competition. Yes, Lisa was finally sent home.

Who are you more happy to see go this week? Lisa or Teresa?

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey made their way back from the shore this week to play a little poker and kick one little Jersey girl out of the her luxurious nest.

We break down all the drama in our patented THG +/- recap below!

Say bye bye. That was Jacqueline's response as Ashlee whined about packing to leave for Vegas. Plus 10 because it was so pathetic it was funny.

They sent her off with Albie to avoid a family meltdown at the airport hoping that she'd get on the plane without incident. It sounds good…in theory.

Jersey-ites

Minus 7 because Albie couldn't be bothered to park the car and walk his wayward cousin to the security checkpoint. Instead he drops her at the curb and there's no doubt she'll be home by dark.

Sure enough, Albie gets the call as he's driving home. Somehow Ashlee missed her flight. Minus 12. This girl is pathetic. I know it's because she doesn't want to go but it is sad when a 20-year-old can't check herself in at an airport. 

Chris is right, his step-daughter has no common sense. Her answer to stress is wishing she could buy herself a drink. Ashlee may be headed down a hard road all of her own making. 

This time Chris drives her to the airport to make sure it's done right. Plus 10. At home Jacqueline looks at pictures of her little girl and cries. I understand she's upset but it's not like some awful tragedy has befallen her daughter. Ashlee's a spoiled brat and when people stop handing her stuff maybe she'll grow up.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

You know what they say about apologies: they aren't sincere unless you make six figures off publishing them in a supermarket tabloid.

Teresa Giudice has taken this saying to heart and penned an open letter to her Real Housewives of New Jersey castmates. It's included in the latest issue of In Touch Weekly and, in addressing Jacqueline, Melissa, Kathy and Caroline, it reads:

"I wish I could take it all back and start over."

Teresa Giudice on In Touch Weekly Cover

On last Sunday's season four premiere - which drew record ratings for Bravo - Giudice dissed and also dismissed Gorga, her sister-in-law, saying she'd leave husband Joe in a heartbeat for a richer man.

Melissa lashed out in response, saying she was hurt by Teresa's comments and they simply aren't valid.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey kicked off season four last night, and very little looked or sounded different to veteran viewers of this franchise.

Main case in point: Melissa Gorga is still have problems with Teresa Giudice, especially after the latter claimed - during the premiere - that Gorga would leave Teresa's husband, Joe, if a "richer man" came along.

Melissa Gorga on The Real Housewives of New Jersey

"I'm trying everything I can to bite my tongue and give a pass here and there, but [her comments] hurt because that's family," Gorga told Us Weekly after the episode aired. "What she said [about Joe and I] made no sense. She had no rhyme or reason to say it. It's very obvious it's not the case and not true."

Why would Teresa make such statement? Her sibling had a theory, which he expressed on the opening installment.

"I believe that she's living a rough life with her husband, she's unhappy and misery loves company," Joe Gorga said.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are back and the feuding continues, but this time they're leaving their McMansions and taking it down to the Jersey shore.

Let's assess all the cussing, name calling, and backstabbing in THG +/- review!

It looks like no one has talked much since Teresa Guidice's infamous cookbook came out. Between the digs about her being as Italian as the Olive Garden and rehashing her son's brilliant idea for a strip car wash, Caroline Manzo is still pretty ticked off. 

The Real Housewives of NJ

The two women end up meeting at a party at Jacqueline's and Caroline's doing an admirable job of freezing Teresa out but Teresa wants to talk. She says she wants to clear the air. Minus 10 because why wait for a family party to do that?

Why not just pick up the phone or go on over to Caroline's? I suppose the show wouldn't be fun if any of it made sense.

So Teresa apologizes…sort of.

"I think you misread it because if you really read it good you'd realize I didn't insult you." Really?  hat's your idea of an apology? Telling someone you didn't read it good? Minus 15 and I'm not even counting the grammar issues.

Teresa just keeps repeating that it was all a joke but Teresa's the only one who finds it funny.

And apparently this is not a good time to be messing with Caroline. She's going though menopause and isn't thrilled when her doctor tells her she's getting old. Plus 8 because even she admits she may go super bitch on someone who crosses her right now.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The new season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey premieres on April 22, and it will be filled with calm, rational discussions around the dinner table, each week ending in a group hug and a reminder of just why these women are such close friends.

JUST KIDDING! Upcoming episodes will be chock full of drama, fighting and "a lot of hurtful and shocking moments," says Teresa Giudice.

Always at the center of the action, Giudice tells People she's "still saddened by what transpired," a lot of which had to do with sister-in-law Melissa Gorga.

"Melissa and I are family and we have our ups and downs just like any family. That is life," says Giudice, who Gorga believes tried to expose her past as a stripper last year, a past Gorga denies.

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