Teresa Giudice

Teresa Giudice tried to physically assault Danielle Staub on Monday night's Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special. Relive the madness NOW.

And while one doesn't need to explain why such an action would be desirable (raise your hand if you don't want to assault Danielle Staub), Giudice wrote about the incident in her latest Bravo website blog.

Focused on the reference by Staub to her nephew - she accused Teresa of not acknowledging his birth - Guidice says she initially was confounded.

"I had no idea what she was talking about because I WAS there [at the hospital]," she writes. "But then I realized what she was saying – that she had been digging around my extended family and trying to find dirt on me and defame them. And I just had it. I will not stand for that (or sit still anyway)."

Danielle seemed to be implying that Giudice's nephew was actually her husband's love child.

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From sex tape talk to a near-beatdown, last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special was as scripted entertaining as hyped.

While every second of this nauseating nonsense could have its own in-depth special, we've broken the night down to our favorite moments. Foremost them:

1. Jacqueline and Teresa alleged that Danielle Staub had sex with her boyfriend in front of Teresa's kids. Said Giudice, quite simply: "You're a pig, you're disgusting and you're desperate."

2. Teresa, on her rumored financial woes: "I have my husband, I have my four beautiful daughters and that's all I need." Let's see if she maintains that attitude when she's residing in a cardboard box next month.

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Teresa Giudice is $11 million in debt.

She recently went on a $60,000 shopping spree, just months after filing for bankruptcy.

Naturally, however, the Real Housewife of New Jersey doesn't take any responsibility for these financial woes. In fact, she blames the public. We're the ones that made her famous, after all.

"If she wasn't on the show, this all would be much easier," a source complained to PopEater. "Everything would be settled by now, but because she is now famous everyone is using the situation to get press for themselves and humiliate her and her family.

"It's honestly got to the point where she's not sure if she wants to come back for another season."

Hey, don't tease us like that, annoying, anonymous friend!

Added this insider, in one of the more ludicrous, nauseating quotes of the year:

"Teresa is sick of everyone knowing all her private financial business. She didn't sign up to be on 'Housewives' so that everyone could look into her bank account. Millions of couples go through what they are going through, except no one knows about it. It's just not fair."

So profound and true. It's really not fair for Teresa to be paid six figures each week so she can act like a self-absorbed spoiled brat and fight with Danielle Staub on every episode.

Someone get this woman a violin, stat!

In October, Teresa Giudice and her husband filed for bankruptcy. The couple owes $11 million to creditors and has been in and out of court this month in an attempt to stop an August 22 auction of their home and belongings.

For that reason, a recent shopping spree by Giudice makes her seem more insane than co-star Danielle Staub:

According to receipts uncovered by The New York Post, Teresa spent $8,800 for curtains and almost $45,000 on wall hangings, mirrors, frames, tables, urns and chairs, all since the time of her bankruptcy filing.

In response, attorney Jim Kridel has tried to keep a straight face this week as he defends his clients.

“That was the money she earned as an advance for her book Skinny Italian,” Kridel said. “Since she earned it after the filing, she was absolutely free to spend it.

"If she put it in the bank, they’d say, ‘Why don’t you pay your creditors,’ and the trustee might freeze the assets while he investigates whether she can spend it or not... Legally you are entitled to spend money you earn after a bankruptcy."

Ethically? It's not like we thought Giudice possessed morals anyway.

“She needed to re-buy furniture because she didn’t have any furniture in the house,” said Kridel. “It’s a big house  and she wanted furniture consistent with her style on the show. There is nothing wrong with doing that, except that it doesn’t look good for her to be doing it.”

The auction in question has been pushed back to October 3.

Danielle Staub has two messages for Teresa Giudice:

1. Told you so!
2. Avoid payday loans, no money down mortgages and be smart with your money.

That's the basic reaction this reality star has for her Real Housewives of New Jersey castmate, as Giudice faces serious bankruptcy and financial problems. Speaking to reporters about Teresa'a $11 million debt this week, Staub said:

“I’m going to tell her what I told her before - your house is in foreclosure. I wasn’t lying and you did know... I think people need to spend within their means and if you don’t know what you have, you need to communicate with your husband."

This is easily the most sane Danielle has ever sounded.

Staub and Giudice went at it on the amazing July 13 episode of this Bravo show, as seen above. Since then, Teresa has gone on The View and said her husband, Joe, never said a word about their impending foreclosure.

But that's a lame excuse, Danielle says, adding: "One thing that comes with marriage is that it’s fifty-fifty. It is your responsibility to know these things. You can’t just throw him under the bus... That’s not cool.”

In the end, Staub has profound advice for all the Real Housewives: “Be very humble, be grateful for the opportunities that have been given to you and try to teach your children that hard work is definitely something that becomes lucrative to you in the end.”

In the rear end, she means, as Danielle knows from personal, videotaped experience.

Burdened by financial and legal problems, Teresa Giudice is all about making a fresh start. Making money to climb out of bankruptcy would be a nice bonus.

What better place for a reality star to forget about the fact that she really might go to jail than the shiny hardwood floors of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars?

According to her recent Tweets, she's considering it.

“I am thinking about doing Dancing with the Stars,” she revealed then asked her 80,352 followers if she should go for it. “What do you guys think?”

This implies ABC has approached her about it, as does this Tweet: “Who should I make them give me as a partner? @MaksimC is the hottest, no?”

Yes, Maksim Chmerkovskiy is the hottest. But he's with Erin Andrews, so don't get your hopes up Teresa. Focus on the bankruptcy auction for now.

Teresa Giudice already has the Dancing With the Stars wardrobe down ...

No Real Housewives have joined the cast before, but plenty of reality TV stars - ranging from Kate Gosselin to Kim Kardashian and Jake Pavelka - have.

Will Teresa follow in their footsteps and receive the fame and paycheck she badly needs as a result? We'll see ... though we would prefer Danielle Staub.

Something tells us her moves on that floor would be straight up Raw.

Others rumored to be among the rug-cutting cast this coming season, which begins Monday, September 20: Former NFL quarterback Troy Aikman, Bachelorette star Ali Fedotowsky and Mike Sorrentino, a.k.a. The Situation, of Jersey Shore fame.

Think Teresa should do it? Who would you most like to see on DTWS?

Bravo's Real Housewives franchise is a huge hit because TV viewers love a glimpse into the lives of the rich and obnoxious. Well, one star is only the latter.

New Jersey housewives will soon have the chance to own part of reality TV history as Teresa Giudice and her husband, Joe, are set to auction off their stuff.

Their 16-room, 10,000-square-foot Towaco, N.J., mansion's contents will be sold in a bankruptcy auction to take place there August 22, according to reports.

According to court documents, the couple owe $10.85 million to creditors - and that doesn't even take into account the newly-filed Danielle Staub lawsuit.

Teresa Giudice recently said of her fiscal woes: "When people fall, the way to success is to get up and learn from our mistakes. We are in that process."

We'd feel bad for Teresa and Joe Giudice, but we really don't. Unlike millions of Americans feeling pain from the recession, they lived way beyond their means.

Among the items up for bid will be a grand piano, two LCD TVs, a decorative urn, an antique pool table, a suit of armor, four chandeliers, a jet boat, a snowplow, framed paintings and numerous pieces of furniture, according to the auction company.

All stuff they couldn't actually pay for but purchased anyway, because these are the kinds of values fostered by the Housewives programs, and arguably society in general. Nice work. The reality couple reportedly filed for bankruptcy last year.

"Due to the economy, most of my husband's real estate ventures failed despite his hard work and effort," Teresa said, ignoring their shady financial practices.

"As a result, we looked to the Bankruptcy Court for a fresh start.”

Another fresh start idea: Savings accounts. Just saying.

Teresa Giudice should send a muffin basket to Danielle Staub.

Granted, these two Real Housewives of New Jersey despise each other and went at it angrily enough for the police to be called on them last week - but Staub's antics have distracted viewers from focusing on Giudice's significant problems, which boil down to this:

She might be going to jail.

A couple months ago, Teresa and her husband filed for bankruptcy.

But a new report in The Wall Street Journal states the couple allegedly concealed key documents about their finances and business transactions.

The pair is also accused, by According to Chapter 7 trustee John Sywilok, of "making false statements under oath about their assets, income and expenses." He's suing the Giudices and attempting to bar them from clearing their debt under the rules of bankruptcy.

We'll keep readers apprised of this development, along with more troubling news for the Giudices: On August 22, there will be a public auction of the contents inside their mansion.

Following his client's confrontation with Teresa Giudice and other Real Housewives of New Jersey on this week's explosive episode, the attorney for Danielle Staub says he plans on filing a lawsuit.

Along with assault and battery charges, the lawyer says he'll seek damages for "defamation of character." To this assertion, Giudice has the following response:

HAHA!

"Don't make me laugh. I think she's defamed her own reputation all by herself," Giudice told Popeater yesterday, clearly referring to Staub's history of drug use, prostitution, sex tape production and overall lunacy.

Unlike Staub, Giudice is aware that filing a restraining order against a reality TV co-star is more ridiculous than any defense of Mel Gibson.

These women are paid to interact with one another in front of the camera. They don't just choose to do so - they profit from the confrontations!

"Believe me, if we could get a restraining order against a cast member, Danielle would have had four against her already," Teresa said. "I never threatened her. She, however, has been on camera threatening me, stalking me and even practicing doing me harm."

Meanwhile, while viewers may claim to be be disgusted by these women, the ratings say otherwise:

Tuesday's episode set a record for Bravo, becoming the highest-rated non-finale of the series. A total of 3.29 million fans tuned in.

Despite having a baby girl just over a month ago, Teresa Giudice tells the latest issue of In Touch Weekly she's never been happier with her body.

Of course, the breast enhancement surgery she underwent last year helps a great deal with that confidence. Teresa told the tabloid:

“I just got them done last summer, so this is my first time wearing a bikini and I have to say, this is the happiest I have ever been with my body. I feel like I have the whole package!”

What else went into this package, aside from silicone? The Real Housewives of New Jersey star dished on a number of weight-related topics:

How much does she weigh? I hardly ever weigh myself, but I do fit back into most of the clothes I wore before I had Audriana. I think I’m a 27 jean size and size 4 in dresses.

Does she diet? I’m never on a diet. I always eat what I want. When I was pregnant, I had to eat anything that was in front of my face. It’s an Italian thing — they say if you see something and don’t eat it, your baby will get a birthmark!

What's her favorite body part? I love my new boobies, but if I had to pick between an ass or boobs, I’d have to say my ass is more important to me. I’m proud of my bubble butt!

Got all that, readers? Now, you tell us: Would you hit this?