by Free Britney at

Jake Pavelka toured the hometowns and met the families of his remaining four women on The Bachelor last night. From New York to Oregon, everything went well.

Until Ali Fedotowsky dropped the biggest bombshell in Bachelor history, that is. Well, except for last summer on The Bachelorette when the same thing happened.

The story editors really need to step it up. As always, THG endured Jake's trials and tribulations on The Bachelor to recap the action in our exclusive point system:

Gia Allemand says Jake's unlike anyone she's dated. Yup, he's that dull. Minus 3.

Erick, Gia's brother, is like a poor man's Pauly D from Jersey Shore. Plus 4.

Gia confesses was with a "bad guy" who cheated on her with all her friends. Wow, so Carl Pavano is not only wildly overpaid, he's a complete jackass. Minus 7.

Jake Contemplates

Jake pretends to deliberate while looking at pictures from ABC.com.

Visiting New England in the late fall, Jake tells Ali that it comes to cold, "I'm a big baby." Replace "cold" with just about anything and that would be true. Plus 5.

Ali drags poor Jake to ... her deceased grandmother's empty house. To borrow one of the simplest, but most profound Liz Lemon quotes: "Dealbreaker!" Minus 3.

Ali's mom says she Googled Jake. THG ranks #1 when one does this. Plus 30.

Jake to Tenley: "I run everything I do by my parents." Groan. Minus 8.

Jake to Tenley: "You have to be a we." Swoon. Plus 9.

Tenley choreographs a ballet dance for Jake set to a traditional wedding march. We can't decide if genuine cuteness trumps extreme awkwardness, so ... Even.

Jake asks Tenley's dad for his blessing - while dating three other girls - and gets it! Why? Because he's "a man of integrity." On The Bachelor. LOL. Minus 48.

Farewell, Ali Fedotowsky ... or will you return?

For once, Vienna Girardi was not the focal point of the entire episode. Plus 12 for that, but an obligatory Minus 7 because her dad has some major screws loose.

The "bombshell" is Ali Fedotowsky going all Ed Swiderski on Jake Pavelka's Jillian Harris. She's gotta go back to work! Minus 100 for the absurd hype this got.

But Plus 86 for Ali crying in the hallway; Jake leaning over the banister. Ali pulling out of the rose ceremony, and Jake's remark: "All I have right now is hope."

While it's rather lame of Ali to up and leave, she probably made the right choice. Jake is pretty lame, and it's hard to get a new job in this economy. Plus 24.

In the promo for next week, the phone rings and it's ... Ali! Who would have guessed? Oh wait, us. Since this already happened on The Bachelorette. Minus 8.

TOTAL: -12. SEASON: +1. Roses: Tenley, Gia, Vienna. Gone: Ali ... or is she?!

Who should Jake Pavelka give his final rose to?

 

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by Free Britney at

She was kicked off The Bachelor after an "inappropriate relationship" with a crew member (which probably never happened), but Rozlyn Papa is over it now.

Producer Ryan Callahan was fired over his alleged dalliances with Rozlyn, although the exact nature of their relationship has always been disputed. Oh well.

Putting her bitter feelings aside took time, but these days she's in good spirits and weighing in on Jake Pavelka's final four - as a member of Team Tenley!

"If I were matchmaker, it would be Jake and Tenley," Rozlyn said, to the surprise of few, as there's little to dislike about sweet, squeaky Tenley Molzahn.

"I really liked her. She's my favorite!"

Tenley Molzahn Picture

Rozlyn Papa (right) is a card-carrying member of Tenley Nation.

Emerging as a favorite herself before "the incident" sent her packing, Rozlyn also weighed in on the rumored winner and chief Tenley competitor, Vienna Girardi.

"Vienna is always sweet," Papa says. "She's a different breed. I didn't really get to see her interact with Jake very much, but I heard she makes it pretty far."

Despite the unfortunate circumstances that got her kicked off, whichever side you believe, Rozlyn says she harbors little ill will against Jake or The Bachelor.

Still, she can't resist maintaining her innocence and getting in a quick dig.

"There was never any sex between any producer and myself at any time. But it's great been for that show! Chris Harrison is still talking about the scandal."

You said it, Rozlyn. Who should Jake choose on The Bachelor?

 

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by Free Britney at

Vienna Girardi has The Bachelor all but wrapped up, if last night is any indication. Jake Pavelka is wrapped around her finger and the other girls are at their wits' end.

As always, THG staff members endured Jake's latest trials and tribulations on The Bachelor to recap all the action for you with our exclusive point system below ...

Tenley Molzahn gets the first of three one-on-ones with Jake. She tries to act very squeaky and cute. Plus 5. But Minus 7 because so does Jake, and he's a dude.

Corrie punks Ali by saying she and Vienna will be going on the two-on-one. In reality, it's Gia and Vienna, but Ali has a full-on hissy fit in front of Vienna. Minus 3.

Jake's #1 wife requirement is that she have his back, no matter what. That and Chris Harrison orchestrating unrealistic dates for him the rest of his life. Plus 4.

Nice turtleneck, Jake. Minus 2.

Jake Pretends to Look Cool

Okay, Jake, a little to the left... perfect! Stand there and act natural!

En route to her date with Jake (and third wheel Gia), Vienna Girardi pronounces the Castello vineyard "castle." Who says you can't judge a book by its cover? Plus 8.

Jake on dating two girls at the same time: "It's almost awkward." Not unlike our reaction every time he's on screen and tries to ad-lib off the cue cards. Minus 3.

Upset that Jake and Gia are alone together, pathetic Vienna desperately wanders through the estate in an attempt to find and cock block her "boyfriend." Plus 9.

Later, the girls go to bed ... until Vienna slips out for a rendezvous in Jake's room. A rendezvous Jake didn't know he would be attending. Obsessed much? Minus 4.

Jake on Vienna: "I definitely had dirty thoughts." Cringe. Minus 13.

Gia Allemand makes a strong impression. Team Gia/Tenley! Plus 3.

Corrie's date involved the two of them sitting silently in a rowboat, waiting to make a move. At least the outdoor scenery was nice during this nonsense. Minus 6.

Vienna Girardi (The Bachelor)

This is Vienna Girardi. The other girls hate her so hard.

His date with Ali Fedotowsky? Not much better. We get it. You live in San Francisco and it's awesome. You hate that Jake likes Vienna too. Just STFU you catty ...

... okay, that blue dress is looking damn good on her. Even.

Why do the girls talk about Vienna 24/7 and rarely say what they like about Jake? Ali is the worst, and it's all growing tiresome. Minus 5, and Minus 6 more for the filler quotient this week, as this could've been condensed into one hour easily.

But at least that meant time for a host-pimp fireside chat, so Plus 3.

LOL at Vienna's hair during the rose ceremony. WTH is that? Plus 8.

TOTAL: -11. SEASON: +13. Roses: Tenley, Ali, Gia and Vienna. Gone: Corrie.

Who should Jake choose among his final four ladies?

 

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by Free Britney at

Jake Pavelka's quest for a life partner continued last night, and The Hollywood Gossip staff endured The Bachelor to recap it for you with our exclusive point system.

Awarding and deducting scores as we deem fit, here's THG's take on last night's episode, which saw a very serious Jake narrow his field of contestants to five:

Chris Harrison announces that he will now be pimping the girls up and down the California coast. Bachelor road trip, RV style. Lots of screaming ensues. Minus 5.

The girls not in Vienna's RV start bashing her immediately. Plus 3.

First stop on the road trip? Wine country. Jake on the vineyard: "There are fields of grapes in all directions." One typically will see that in a vineyard, yes. Minus 4.

Tenley Screams

The first 15 minutes of the episode summed up in one image.

Gia and Jake spend their critical one-on-one date in the vineyard playing hide-and-seek and spin the bottle. Nauseating, but at least she's really trying. Plus 4.

Jake Pavelka confides that in 9th grade, his nickname was "Mr. Dateless." Minus 6, because there's no way Jake or any 9th grader has ever been called that.

Group date time. This mostly consists of Jake rolling around in the sand with a squeaky, flirty Tenley Molzahn. Doesn't look like the worst time ever. Plus 7.

Minus 2, though, for how he lamely says "it's time to get down n' dirty." Jake, stop reading the cue cards and acting like a stiff for five f*%king seconds.

Tenley Molzahn gets a rose. Ali is going to poison Vienna pretty soon. Plus 5.

The 2-on-1 date is going to be "so difficult" for Jake, but he's "going to do what my heart tells me." By his heart, he means Chris and Mike Fleiss. Minus 9.

Jake Sets Rose on Fire

Jake tries to act like this scene was totally spontaneous.

Jessie totally pulls a Jake Pavelka on Jake Pavelka, who is now in Jillian Harris' position. Jessie "warns" Jake about Vienna 'cause she cares SO MUCH! Plus 6.

Besides how much Vienna supposedly sucks, the big narrative producers are beating into our skulls this season is that Jake is, like, really serious about finding a wife. As opposed to other Bachelor stars who are there for what reason? Minus 11.

To that end, Jake boots both girls after the 2-on-1 date. Deep in thought, he then SETS THE ROSE ON FIRE! Plus 12 for that staged, but hilarious moment.

At the rose ceremony, he calls time out! Minus 5, because you shouldn't be able to do that. He wants to cut an extra girl. Understanding pimp Chris agrees.

The final rose goes to ... Vienna Girardi! Plus 8 for dragging that inevitable result out as long as humanly possible to mess with us - and royally piss off Ali.

TOTAL: +1. SEASON: +24. Rose recipients: Gia, Corrie, Tenley, Ali and Vienna. Sent packing by Jake Pavelka: Ashleigh, Jessie, Kathryn, and Ella.

Things our wives said:

  • "I really hate how much they scream."
  • "[Gia] looks like a high-maintenance airhead, but she's so pretty."
  • "[Vienna] needs to lay off the dark eye shadow. Her clothes are really bad too. I mean, where do you even BUY some of those outfits?"
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by Free Britney at

Despite making every episode two freaking hours long, The Bachelor apparently didn't have time to air the bombshell scene it spent the past week promoting.

Conveniently, that scene was edited, manipulated nonsense.

An exchange in which Tenley Molzahn was shown telling Jake Pavelka she was pregnant was hyped to no end on the show's commercials, only to be omitted.

"It was cut for time," a show spokesperson said of Tenley's pregnancy confession, which, as predicted by THG, was just her punking Jake for a brief moment.

"There's something I have to tell you ... I just found out I'm pregnant," Tenley Molzahn told a stunned Pavelka. Pause. "I'm just kidding! I'm so sorry!"

The deleted scene appears below ...

As is their tradition, ABC's commercials had promoted a highly edited version of the exchange: "Just when this bachelor thought he couldn't take any more drama!" ABC's announcer proclaimed as Tenley told Jake "I'm pregnant" and appeared to sob.

The failure to feature any mention or explain the quote in Monday's episode marked the third straight week the show failed to include promoted material.

The season premiere promised a "special announcement" from Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski that didn't end up happening. It was their wedding date.

Week two was hyped up with a sound bite in which an unidentified girl referred to Rozlyn Papa's alleged "inappropriate relationship" as "a sexual affair."

That clip never aired on the episode either.

Tenley's pregnancy joke actually took place prior to when she gave her earnest speech about her past and her painful divorce. It was playful and meant for Jake to laugh, and was actually pretty funny ... at least in its intended context.

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by Free Britney at

As usual, The Hollywood Gossip staff endured The Bachelor last night to bring you our official recap, with points awarded/docked according to our scientific system.

In the season's third episode, Vienna Girardi emerged as a frontrunner, and Michelle became even more insane. Here's THG's take on that and so much more ...

Jake takes Vienna bungee jumping "to overcome their fears as a couple." A couple who met like 10 days ago. And jumps off a bridge entirely by choice. Minus 5.

Plus 12, though, for the show blatantly recycling this story line from Jason and Molly's season, but Minus 12 for V saying she's "on cloud Jake right now." Wow.

Michelle: "I really want a 1-on-1 date with Jake. I really do." You're joking! Plus 16, as she also wants to kiss Jake softly and pull his hair. She is bat$h!t insane.

Jake and His Harem

Jake Pavelka and his Bachelor babes after their comedy venture.

Plus 6 to Jon Lovitz for purposely not being funny at his own comedy club, in order to help take the pressure of the suitors. (That is what he was doing, right?!?)

Corrie absolutely trashes Vienna Girardi in her standup routine, and other girls throw her under the bus too. Minus 10 for the cattiness, even for The Bachelor.

The girls HATE Vienna, yet we never see her do anything bad. A theory? It's part of the narrative so we're "shocked" when she wins (see Bachelor spoilers). Even.

Ali on Michelle: "She just seems a little off." Ya think?! Plus 2.

Ella had a nice date with Jake at Sea World. They're great together, but Minus 4 because they involved her 7-year-old son when she's obviously not gonna win.

Tenley Molzahn opens up to Jake about her past and divorce. We admit it, we're finally hooked on a contestant. She seems so sincere and squeaky. Plus 13.

Tenley and Jake

Jake and sweet, sweet Tenley have a tender moment.

Jake: "I'm not a serial dater." With the exception of appearing on two reality shows based around dating. Minus 4, because we thought he "believed in the process."

Mean, when Michelle pressures Jake to kiss her, and he reluctantly does so, his expression is PRICELESS. Plus 1,000 because he's as scared of her as we are!

Minus 7 for Elizabeth being such a tease, and a really bad one at that. Seriously, girls used to play these games with us in fifth grade. They totally worked, but still.

TOTAL: +1,007. SEASON: +23. Roses: Vienna, Ella, Gia, Corrie, Tenley, Ali, Jessie, Kathryn and Ashleigh. Eliminated: Valishia, Elizabeth and crazy a$$ Michelle.

Things our wives said:

  • [on Jake, multiple times] "Was that him attempting to be funny again?"
  • "These girls are even dumber than I thought, which is saying something."
  • "I'm going upstairs to watch videos of my own stomach instead."
  • [on Michelle] "Doesn't she make you nervous? I'm uncomfortable."
  • "I wish I could accept a rose ... so I could stab myself with its thorns."
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by Free Britney at

With the drama of Rozlyn Papa and her "inappropriate" relationship with producer Ryan Callahan dying down, you knew The Bachelor had a new scandal brewing.

The bomb waiting to be dropped this week? Tenley Molzahn reveals to Jake Pavelka that she's pregnant! Well, maybe. Kind of reeks of a promo-only stunt to us.

Shayne Lamas and Matt Grant Photo

Tenley, who works in admissions for the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Huntington Beach, Calif., confesses in a preview that she's knocked up.

The 25-year-old was previously married, and said last week, "I haven't dated anyone since my ex-husband," leaving us wondering who the father of her baby is.

Our guess? No one. Tenley Molzahn is punking Jake and two seconds after she drops the baby bomb, she'll proclaim "Ha, just kidding!" Take that to the bank.

PERFECT TENLEY: Pregnant or not, will she win The Bachelor's heart?

Interestingly, the sweet, beautiful Tenley is said to make the final two this season, along with Vienna Girardi, according to The Bachelor spoilers we've read.

That's just speculation, but our source has been right before.

Namely, we knew about the Molly-Melissa switcheroo by Jason Mesnick, Ed Swiderski winning The Bachelorette (and likely cheating on Jillian), and the Rozlyn scandal.

What do you think? Is Tenley Molzahn pregnant? Does she have good chemistry with The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka? Are you rooting for her this season? Comment!

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