You asked for it, and now you've got it. Okay, you didn't ask for it, but Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil still released a music video for her debut single "It's Tan Mom."
It is probably the worst video in the history of human civilization.
For reasons unknown, Tan Mom decided to try her shriveled, brown hand at music, and "It's Tan Mom" puts even Octomom, Kim K. and Farrah Abraham to shame.
Yes, it really is that bad. We dare you to check it out above.
Tanning Mom is set to appear in a gay porn movie, but luckily, it won't be an all-girl Farrah Abraham sex tape ripoff. She won't be doing any sex stuff.
Patricia Krentcil has been open to porn, and offered up her services to Vivid Entertainment (of the Farrah and Kim Kardashian sex tapes), who passed.
But Lucas Entertainment, a company that produces a series of gay porn films called Kings of New York, was all over that and Krentcil in a new episode.
The role is just a cameo and Krentcil will be paid $1,000 for a few hours' work. In crucial news for society, she will remain clothed the entire time.
And for that, one can't say enough prayers of thanks.
Patricia Krentcil, New Jersey's infamous "Tanning Mom," is trading the tanning bed for the recording studio. Yes, she's about to drop her debut single.
Don't even ask us why, but here's a sneak preview:
The song, titled "It's Tan Mom" (seriously), will be available on iTunes today. Don't everybody crash their servers with massive traffic at once, okay?
Patricia Krentcil said she was influenced by Rihanna's "Diamonds" as well as other hits, but rest assured, she added her own spin to the HOT song.
"I took all the lyrics and what was written in front of me and I scrambled it up and I put my own words into the song," the 44-year-old said of her debut.
Scrambled is a good word for it. As well as your brain, after you've suffered through even a few snippets. Seriously, you can't do justice to its terribleness.
If you're a real glutton for punishment, check out the slideshow of Tanning Mom photos after the jump. Talk about things you wish you could un-see ...
Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil apparently offered herself to adult video company Vivid to shoot her very own sex tape. She wrote to CEO Steve Hirsch:
”I see you are trying to buy this sex tape from this Teen Mom. Well, if you REALLY want to make more MONIES, then I would agree to let you film me and all my hotness."
"I am far MORE popular and WAY HOTTER than [recent sex tape star Farrah Abraham]. Men want a cougar and a real woman, not a teenybopper."
"Contact me back if you’re ready to talk serious cash and rock the world.”
Seriously. This happened.
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has signed a new law barring people under 17 from going to Garden State tanning salons without parental approval.
All thanks to infamous Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil.
The "Tan Mom Law" goes into effect immediately.
For her part, Krentcil says she supports the measure - she denied her five-year-old ever went in a tanning booth, despite her arrest for that incident.
Tanning Mom is no longer on the hot seat ... well, legally anyway.
A grand jury declined to indict the New Jersey raisin for dragging her five-year-old daughter into a tanning bed last year, for which she was arrested.
She became a national punch line, but Patricia Krentcil won't be an inmate after the case against her never materialized into formal criminal charges.
Children under age 14 are barred from using tanning salons, but Krentcil had denied bringing the kid into the physical tanning bed inside the place.
Jenelle Evans and Patricia Krentcil are getting in the Celebrity Boxing ring.
According to CEO Damon Feldman, the bout will go down December 1.
The Thrilla in Pennsylvania was originally billed as Tanning Mom vs. Octomom, but Nadya Suleman remains suspended by the Celebrity Boxing federation (seriously).
As such, Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans will step in against Tanning Mom, who may be in for a long night. Have you seen Jenelle beating the crap out of Britany Truett?
Who will win when these two nuts throw it down?
Tanning Mom is now just Mom.
Patricia Krentcil says those child endangerment charges she faces for dragging her daughter into a booth (allegedly) will never stick, but regardless, she's no longer tanning. Yep, Tanning Mom is pale.
Check out her recent sit-down on Anderson:
Krentcil was arrested earlier this year, but believes the case against her will probably be dismissed because there's no evidence and she never did what she's accused of.
The 44-year-old also admits she had a nervous breakdown following the media backlash, but now says she's doing fine. That's good ... you don't want her to start stress-tanning.
Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil was removed from a roast in her honor Wednesday at a New York bar after she was so drunk she couldn't stand up.
The Nutley, N.J. native "showed up for the red carpet and fell over,” at Hell’s Kitchen's XL Club, a witness said, according to the New York Post.
The source added that at one point, the 44-year-old mother of five became so incoherent that she "got up and tried to attack [a] drag queen.”
“We asked [Patricia Krentcil] what she wanted to drink and she slurred, ‘I didn’t put my kid in a tanning bed!’” a witness told the newspaper.
The organizers described their contingency plan for Tanning Mom getting out of hand ... and how it was put into effect within just a few minutes.
“We came up with a code word earlier: It was ‘Christmas' ... After about five minutes, we were just screaming ‘Christmas,’ and security came and took her out.”
If you missed it, Krentcil was arrested April 24 on a second-degree child endangerment charge when she allegedly took her six-year-old tanning.
According to New Jersey law (but apparently not common sense to Tanning Mom), no one 13-years-old or younger is allowed to enter the booths.
To see what she looked like before her bizarre obsession with trying to become the first-ever human raisin kicked in, check out Tanning Mom pale.
Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil no longer lives up to her nickname.
The orange New Jersey parent arrested earlier this year for dragging her daughter into a tanning bed has scaled back on her "treatments" and is now pale!
Check out this photo of her with a relatively normal skin tone:
Tanning Mom is now pale as a ghost! Or at least a human being.
The celebrity gossip magazine In Touch recently invited Krentcil, 44, to do a photo shoot, provided she lay off tanning for one whole month!
It wasn't easy, but needing fame/money for legal fees, she obliged.
"I've had moments where I've felt like, 'I need to be tan.' I did all the spray tans and lotions and creams, too - anything to get dark," she said.
"Once a doctor even told me to stop tanning. But I didn't listen to him. I wanted to be dark. I like looking like I just got back from vacation."
After she quit for a month? It's like she's a new person.
"I feel weird and pale," Patricia Krentcil said, adding that, in the future, despite how good she looks now, she will likely "squeeze a tan in here or there."
Here or there or 20 times a week ... give or take.
TM became a media "darling" after being charged with felony child endangerment (she pleaded not guilty) for putting her 5-year-old in an artificial tanning booth, so it's no surprise that old habits die hard. She says she was "born to be tan."
And/or possibly do time. We'll see.
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