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The entire cast of The Hills, minus the vanquished Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, but including alumni Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port, commemorated the hit MTV series' final episode Tuesday night with one last bash in Hollywood.

So much has changed between The Hills finale and what began as a Laguna Beach spinoff 102 episodes ago. But it was great to see LC back, since she started it all.

On hand were the likes of Kristin Cavallari, Brody Jenner and Audrina Patridge, along with bit players Justin-Bobby, Lo, Stephanie, that Stacie girl and many more.

Click to enlarge the photos below ...

  • Hills Cast: The Final Season
  • Besties
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After six seasons of drama, The Hills ended its run on MTV in appropriate fashion, with cameras panning back to expose just how manufactured that drama is.

More on that in a little bit.

Delux Kristin Pic

Supposedly, Kristin Cavallari is moving to Europe, because she "needs a change." Note: she never went to Europe, and she never pined for Brody Jenner. At all.

Elsewhere, Lo and Scott move in together, Audrina decided to get a new house by the beach, and Stephanie is kinda dating that guy Josh now, if anyone cares.

Nowhere to be found, except dressed like an old man outside the finale party? Spencer Pratt. Here's THG's recap of Tuesday's series finale of The Hills ...

FINAL FOUR: The female stars of The Hills at the series finale party.

Stephanie Pratt tells the girls she is happy with her life, while Audrina Patridge says she's still trying to figure hers out. When is she NOT trying to do that? Minus 4.

Brody plays golf with the guys and says he didn't realize things with Kristin would take the turn they did. Yeah, the scripts are sometimes pretty surprising. Plus 5.

Kristin tells Stacie about Brody's girlfriend and admits she's "bummed." We are too. They won't even mention Avril Lavigne by name, and he can do better. Minus 3.

Lo and Scott move in together. Cute. Plus 6, despite the obvious fact they're just looking to kill time with Stephanie and Lo, bit players for much of the series.

"Bored" Kristin tells Brody she's moving to Europe (LOL) for the summer or maybe longer (ROTFL). Naturally, she's having a big goodbye bash with cameras! Plus 8.

Not even an acknowledgment of Spencer Pratt and/or Heidi Montag, Hills? Where did they even go? Did Adam DiVello have Heidi bumped off? We worry. Minus 20.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PERSON? If so, contact local authorities.

Brody finally arrives and says he didn't understand her feelings. Kristin is tearful as Brody says he'll miss her. "Don't leave," he pleads. She wipes a tear away from his supposedly sad face and hugs him. Kristin even says this is a crock. Minus 34.

Audrina isn't going to Kristin's because she wants to move away from the "scene" and avoid bumping into Justin-Bobby. We'd steer clear of the stench too. Plus 7.

Scott to Lo, who he says he would marry right now: "It takes a while to find the right person and you are perfect." Minus 11. Just propose if you're serious, dude.

As Kristin speeds off, cameras focus on Brody with the Hollywood sign behind him ... but it was only a painting, later revealed to show the camera crew and staff. Then the cameras stop rolling, Kristin gets out of the limo and hugs Brody, despite the bull$h!t regarding her leaving. What a giant Eff You to fans. Plus 100.

FINALE TOTAL: +54. SEASON TOTAL: +13.

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As we gear up toward what can only be described as an epic series finale July 13, the penultimate episode of The Hills certainly featured a lot of things going on.

Some of them possibly even real!

Heidi Montag's sister Holly and Darlene Egelhoff, their mom, lamented that Heidi has gone totally off the rails. They've been trying to reach her but can't.

Kristin Cavallari puts it all out there and says she has feelings for Brody Jenner, but he isn't really reciprocating the fake love. Lo and Stephanie also star.

Here's THG's recap of Tuesday's The Hills, "Loves Me Not" ...

O RLY? YA RLY: Brody ignores Kristin and texts "someone else."

Stephanie, Lo and Holly talk about the ca-ra-zy drama that went down in Costa Rica over lunch. Gotta rehash all the details, and totally naturally. Plus 5.

Brody says he's hanging out with a new girl. How come The Hills calls "Ryan Cabrera" by first and last name, yet won't say Avril Lavigne at all? Minus 5.

Brody's friend Josh, who races motorcycles, introduces himself to Stephanie Pratt, and the pair have an instant connection - they don't drink. Plus 4.

Holly Montag picks her mom up from the airport. They'll have to wait for Heidi to come around. Minus 3 for falsely getting our hopes up for Speidi, Hills.

Kristin tells Stacie how Brody wants to talk and it's, like, her chance to finally tell him how she feels. Minus 6, because it's really the producers' chance.

SIDEKICK STEPH: She-Pratt's falling fast and hard for a new man.

Holly tries calling, but her voicemail isn't activated. We're sure that's real, much like Spencer's apology to LC, which she wasn't actually listening to. Minus 5.

Scott surprises Lo on their one year anniversary by asking her if she wants to move in together. Plus 7, because while we really don't care, they're very sweet!

Kristin lays it all out there. Brody says he's sorry, but he's met someone else. Minus 14 because we know this, and Kristin does too, and it's a famous musician.

Nearly lost for words, Darlene tells Holly that since Heidi Montag has been gone, it feels like she's mourning the loss of a child. Not at all melodramatic. Plus 8.

Kristin cries when she tells Lo that Brody rejected her and is seeing someone else. Bull$h!t, since she's dating Miguel Medina, a Hills cameraman! Minus 20.

TOTAL: -27. SEASON: -41.

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Last night on The Hills, the crew marked 100 episodes of the MTV show with a trip to Costa Rica, which offered both incredible scenery and crazy hookups.

It was a nice departure from the clubs and lunches we see in L.A., but make no mistake, this was still The Hills, for better or worse, just in a jungle setting.

Here's THG's plus-minus recap of events ...

Immediately after landing, Kristin Cavallari speculates on who's going to hook up on the trip. Plus 18, because that's all they do, and the reason for going.

Kristin tells Stacie that Justin-Bobby is "the one" for Audrina Patridge, but Brody isn't "the one" for her. Are you effin' serious, cue card writers? Minus 7.

When Kristin kissed bartender Will, it irritated Brody Jenner, but didn't get a real rise out of him. Plus 4, as he reacted more like someone kissed his sister.

We used to sort of root for Kristin and Brody Jenner to get back together, but after all this waffling, we're pretty much over it... not unlike Brody. Minus 3.

Wait, were McKaela Line and Allie Lutz get invited? Sucks for them! Plus 7.

Charlie tells Justin-Bobby that he needs to make a move on Audrina. Not coerced by the producers at all. Even, because he does make a move, of sorts ...

You gotta love Justin-Bobby just walking by and randomly grabbing Audrina's ass like the low-class waste of space that he is. Consistent, at least. Plus 7.

Kristin tells Stacie and Taylor (a.k.a. Sleazy T) she's done with Brody after he embarrassed her in the bar. We'll see how long that lasts this time. Minus 4.

Stephanie Pratt serves absolutely zero purpose on the show. Minus 5.

Wow, Brody and Justin-Bobby are actually really good surfers. Plus 4.

Seriously, WTF is Justin-Bobby wearing?! Who rocks a stocking cap and long sleeves in Costa Rica? Minus 8 for lowering the douchebag bar to new depths.

After he invites her out, Kristin and Will dance together in the rain. Which actually does look really fun. We think we need to go to Costa Rica ASAP. Plus 10.

The Kristin-Will thing might seem cool or romantic, but we already know Brody doesn't care, and she's dating Hills cameraman Miguel Medina, so Minus 14.

Kristin and Will kiss. Maybe she's got a future in acting? Plus 5.

J-B asks Audrina if she'll ever come back to Costa Rica. She says, "Not with you." OWNED, but Minus 4 anyway, since she'll always crawl back to this loser.

No Spencer and Heidi? Even on the 100th episode? Minus 16, because as we've said before, the show needs Speidi, and didn't even explain their absence.

Lastly, Plus 8 to push us into positive territory. Why? While a shell of its former self, The Hills still has its moments, and has given us so many memories.

TOTAL: +2. SEASON: -12.

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Somebody please explain this one to us, if you don't mind.

At what point did Justin-Bobby become more than a transient figure, but a guy The Hills is based around, with Kristin Cavallari and Audrina Patridge smitten?

What is the appeal of this guy? What woman doesn't love a mysterious, shady individual morally opposed to haircuts, bathing, working or speaking coherently?

It is useless to resist.

Audrina Patridge proved again that she cannot quit him, casting Ryan Cabrera aside. Meanwhile, Kristin brought the ruckus to that psycho b!tch Allie Lutz.

Here's THG's recap of Tuesday's The Hills, "Make Up to Break Up" ...

FEEL THE MAGIC: A scene straight out of a Lifetime film.

Audrina has weighed the pros and cons with Ryan, and it's not gonna work. We're imagining her writing an actual list. Pros: Nice, rich. Cons: Hair? Minus 4.

Kristin and Lo are bummed about Audrina's feelings toward Ryan. Plus 5, because they know he deserves better and that Justin-Bobby is a waste of space.

From the moment Brody Jenner arrives at the club, Kristin and he flirt relentlessly. Hot. Plus 3, because you might as well cue the adult film soundtrack now.

Sleazy T sighting! Plus 2.

Brody says McKaela Line is crazy for bringing Allie Lutz around. Minus 8, because McKaela Line and her connection to the crew are clearly fabricated by MTV.

Allie spots Kristin across the club and tries to make amends, but Kristin calls her and their awesomely snarky confrontation almost gets physical. Plus 12.

Bitch Please

BITCH PLEASE: Kristin Cavallari will bring it, Allie Lutz. Step. Away.

Kristin shows up at Smashbox to meet Lo for lunch and is fake surprised to see McKaela there. Wow, can you BELIEVE the coincidental run-ins on this show? Plus 7.

Ryan Cabrera asks Audrina why she left his show early and she says it's just too hard for her to hear him sing, 'cause the feelings just aren't there. Weak. Minus 8.

No Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Again. Minus 10.

Kristin invites Justin to Audrina's b-day party for reasons unknown. Minus 5. Weren't these two supposedly together at the end of last season? That fizzled fast.

Audrina and Stephanie talk about the difficulties of relationships and the importance of honesty ... except when faking every single scene for a reality show. Plus 3.

Justin-Bobby tells Audrina he's happy where the two of them are now. Sitting at THG World Headquarters writing this, we wish we could say the same. Minus 5.

TOTAL: -8. SEASON: -14.

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Another week, another episode of The Hills that could have used a dose of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, who have just vanished from it with no explanation.

Amusingly, Speidi's real life drama is chronicled on the MTV show's official blog, despite no sign of them on the show in weeks, or acknowledgment of this fact.

Whacking Balls

In any case, the show was more of the same that we've seen in recent weeks - Allie Lutz continues to vie for McKaela Line and battles it out with Team Kristin.

Seriously, this is what The Hills has become, and alas, what it will continue to be in all likelihood. Lauren Conrad and Speidi are not walking through that door!

Here's THG's plus-minus recap of last night's The Hills ...

Once again torn between Justin-Bobby and a superior guy, Audrina Patridge talks with Lo, who asks if she'd take J-B back if he changed. No answer. Minus 14.

Justin-Bobby gets thugged out at the club - and deep, man.

Kristin Cavallari tells Brody Jenner that she warned McKaela about Allie and alleged break-in we're supposed to care about. She's so catty, it's great. Plus 7.

Allie insists to McKaela that Kristin's stories about her are, like, so totally not true and drops the classic drunk girl line: "They don't even KNOW me!" Plus 5.

Everybody heads to Les Deux later - including Justin-Bobby and Ryan Cabrera, who have the most awkward introduction ever. Plus 9, because that was real!

Justin-Bobby tells Brody that Audrina "deserves the world" and doesn't need grief. Minus 12, because there's no way he didn't read that off MTV's cue cards.

Stephanie and Max are having a nice dinner when talk turns to her estranged relationship with Spencer Pratt and her DUI arrest. Double buzzkill! Minus 9.

When Audrina suggests that the "honeymoon" is over, Ryan says "If we caught each other at the wrong time, we need to figure it out. It's your life." Plus 5.

The cheese factor is amped up to 11 when, live in concert, he says he wants to sing a love song, which prompts Audrina to start crying. Words fail us. Wash.

Kristin Cavallari Lutz Allie have it.

Side note: You gotta love how Ryan, unlike the others who receive just a single name (e.g. Audrina, McKaela, Kristin), is always billed as Ryan Cabrera. Plus 3.

Stephanie says she isn't sure if she is ready to date at this stage, at least until she finds a guy who understands her life. Minus 8. Um, girl, get over yourself.

At the Young Hollywood Party, Audrina Patridge hints at a breakup with Ryan. Too bad, because he actually seems like a good dude, despite the hair. Minus 7.

In vintage Hills fashion, an argument soon erupts between Kristin and Allie before Brody breaks it up. Poor McKaela just looks lost, unsure what to do. Plus 8.

Kristin thanks Brody for having her back, which he says he always will ... unless he wants to nail some new girl. They walk off arm-in-arm, as usual. Minus 3.

Side note: We swore Kristin Cavallari was Heidi Montag for a sec with the makeup and teased hair - but a lack of HUGE fake breasts dashed our hopes. Plus 2.

TOTAL: -14. SEASON: -6.

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We don't know what's more unfortunate, that this Max guy was set up with Stephanie Pratt, or that The Hills is coming out with Stephanie Pratt story lines now.

No disrespect to Stephanie Pratt, but ... Stephanie Pratt? Last night's The Hills, "A New Bird," focused largely on Spencer's sister. He was nowhere to be found.

While a reprieve from Spencer Pratt can be a nice thing, let's be honest, if there's anything interesting about The Hills anymore, it's watching Speidi meltdowns.

What we're left with in the wake of their odd, unexplained absence is a whole lot of filler. Here's The Hollywood Gossip's official Hills rundown, plus-minus style:

Brody tells Kristin he may go on a date with a girl. Kristin isn't seeing anyone else. Ah, friends with benefits at its best. Someone's always let down. Plus 15.

Audrina invites Ryan out with her friends, and after some hesitation, he agrees. Too bad we already know Audrina Patridge and Ryan Cabrera split. Minus 8.


Brody Jenner puts the moves on new chick McKaela.

Brody's new girl McKaela is new to L.A. and is looking for "genuine friends." LOL. Plus 7 for the inevitable letdown that will result from taking that quest to The Hills.

Stephanie says she feels like her life is finally coming together and she's ready for a relationship and blah blah blah. Does anyone care at all? Minus 9. Because no.

Lo sets her up on a "blind" date. As in the producers of The Hills throwing darts at a wall full of dudes' audition photos while blindfolded? That we could buy. Plus 3.

Charlie gives Brody tips on hooking up and staying single during a golf outing. Charlie. Always so calm and wise. Plus 5 for the increased screen time for this sage.

Audrina also gives Stephanie some dating pointers. Minus 10, 'cause this is not the person you want pointers from, unless your top priority is being walked all over.


Dating Rule #1: No pouting. Rule #2: Tone down the makeup.

Brody Jenner introduces McKaela to his friends and flirts with her in front of Kristin Cavallari. What a passive-aggressive move. But hey, they're not dating, so Plus 8.

Lo helps Stephanie get ready for the big night. We keep expecting some big cat fight to liven it up a bit, but no, it really is just that boring. Minus 3, because really?

Kristin, like, can't believe the next day that Brody did that with McKaela. Stacie reminds her they knew this wouldn't end well. She's like the female Charlie. Plus 4.

Stephanie quizzes Max on basic dating questions. "What's your sign?" Really? This is what The Hills has devolved into? This is just coma-inducing stuff. Minus 27.

TOTAL: -15. SEASON: +40. Yeah. It's looking more and more like this show can't sustain whatever magic it once had, and needs to step it up or go away pronto.

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Spencer Pratt is out of control. We've known this for some time at THG, but now it has gotten to the point where even his friends and family see he is losing it.

Last night's episode of The Hills, "This is Goodbye," focused on Heidi's husband's deteriorating mental health, as well as Brody and Kristin's renewed romance.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's official Hills rundown, plus-minus style:

Holly and Stephanie lament being the only sane ones left in their families. Never mind that both of them have serious, well-publicized drinking issues. Plus 9.

After Holly rehashes how Spencer called the cops on Heidi's mom, Steph says Speidi has no friends. Charlie is rolling in his grave as we speak. Minus 4.

Heidi and Kristin are friends? Were they always? Hard to keep track. Plus 3.

Spencer looks like he needs a hug.

"Who am I without Spencer?" Heidi ponders. Hmm. Probably a reasonably cute, harmless, not brainwashed chick with friends and real-looking breasts. Minus 37.

Audrina Patridge visits her boyfriend Ryan Cabrera at the studio. He's apparently still under contract? Minus 2. But Plus 8 for his decision to skip that night's drama.

Venturing out of his hole for once, Spencer calls Audrina the "lamest girl in the club" which sparks an argument between himself and Brody. Like old times. Plus 5.

Heidi Montag has a threefold excuse for Spencer: 1. He has stuff on his mind (Minus 3). 2. All guys are controlling (Minus 6). 3. She changed herself (Minus 12).

Most awkward clubbing moments ever: Heidi Montag shows her crystals collection to Kristin as Spencer says Heidi doesn't watch TV or use the computer. Plus 20.

OMG, Brody and Kristin are, like, so meant to be ... but single!

Holly and Stephanie say they are done with Heidi and Spencer, while Kristin Cavallari and Brody Jenner get down on the floor and eventually leave together. Plus 9.

The next day, Kristin says what they have going is good, whatever it is. Brody says he likes being single, and Kristin does too. Holla at friends with benefits! Plus 18.

Obligatory Lo scene! Steph says that she is flipping between being angry and sad over Heidi and Spencer. Blah, blah, blah. Stephanie and Lo are so boring. Minus 7.

The girls all are told by MTV agree to completely cut off Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Pratt. No communication at all. Plus 5 for effort, but we give it about half an episode.

TOTAL: +4. SEASON: +55. Basically, it was an episode in which everyone agrees Speidi is insane, and Brody macked on Kristin. Boilerplate stuff, but we'll take it.

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The second episode of The Hills' final season focused on nasty rumors and the b!tch who started them. Yes, we know that applies to pretty much every episode.

Lauren Conrad's non-sex tape and Speidi's involvement in spreading that story took up multiple seasons. Is Kristin Cavallari's "drug problem" the new version?

Last night's episode, "Rumor Has It," found her singling out Stephanie as the rumor culprit. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

Kristin on Stephanie Pratt and why she'd start rumors: "Because she's crazy, she's a pathological liar, she has nothing going on in her life." All true. Plus 15.

Stacie the Bartender is still around. Does Kristin not have any girlfriends the network didn't create for her? Is Stacie the Bartender her full name? Minus 4.

Brody Jenner: "[Steph] made up these rumors because she is a crazy person. With her past drug addiction, maybe she's mirroring herself." Deep. Plus 7.

Cocaine. It's what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Stephanie and Lo read about Kristin's drug use from gossip tabloids and thus think "she is definitely doing drugs," which is hilarious on many levels. Minus 3.

Kristin throws a party to "get to the bottom of this." Or because MTV told her too. Plus 2, because amazingly, the whole cast will be there, including Speidi!

Minus 9 for the lines fed to Brody about Ryan Cabrera and the fake conflict over Audrina. Metrosexual cracks are cliched, and why the eff would Brody care?

LOL, Ryan does look kind of d-bag-ish, however, so Plus 3.

Heidi Montag is, like, excited to debut her new body. Her fam didn't love her new look, but friends think she looks great. Psst ... they're getting paid. Plus 7.

What is Lo even doing on the show at this point? Minus 4.

Stephanie starts to make small talk with Spencer Pratt, but gets so choked up and starts to cry. Spencer berates her. How awesomely dysfunctional. Plus 5.

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Dismayed by family issues, Spencer is carrying around crystals to channel his anger and bring life "peace and balance." What a ridiculous human being. Plus 12.

Kristin says she really doesn't want to be friends with Stephanie because she just likes to create drama. That and 100 other reasons make sense to us. Plus 3.

Nice to see Charlie adopting the Justin-Bobby look. Minus 6.

What's more fake, any dialogue featuring Stephanie and Kristin or Heidi Montag's ginormous, hilarious fake boobs? No points, just throwing that out there.

TOTAL: +30. SEASON: +40. This was The Hills at its best and worst, all at the same time. So much contrived, but entertaining nonsense to go around.

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

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If you love The Hills, last night's premiere (Season 6, Episode 1) was a doozy. If you're so over The Hills by now, this episode is probably a classic example of why.

"Put on a Happy Face" featured Heidi Montag's family trying to do just that ... staring at her face and the rest of her body after 139 unnecessary plastic surgeries.

The Hills final season debut should have come with a "Warning: Disturbing Images" disclaimer. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

They should show a close-up shot of Heidi Montag's fake boobs in their hilarious glory as The Hills title card. Although those things are more like a mountain range.

Is it just us or are all of these chicks skinnier, meaner and more annoying than ever? Did MTV unveil new protocol for these mean girl anorexic fembots? Minus 9.

Lo is a full-time cast member at last! Plus 4!

Kristin Cavallari can't believe she's accused of drug use ... despite staying out until 8 a.m. and looking like a stick figure. Minus 5. Where would they get that idea?

Welcome 2 the Freak Show

A face only a mother could love... and even she has a hard time.

Let's run down Heidi Montag's plastic surgery in her own words: "I got a slight eyebrow lift and that's why I got these staples in my head. I had my nose redone, I had my own fat injected into my cheeks. I had my ears pinned back. I had injections into my lips. I had my chin shaved down. I had my breast redone, and my back shaped... and I had a little bit of inner and outer lipo." No points, we just had to.

Heidi's mother Darlene reacts honestly to her daughter's absurd plastic surgeries, asking "why [she] would want to look like Barbie?" Our thoughts exactly. Plus 18.

After Heidi Montag prods further, Darlene says looked "younger and fresher-looking" before. Minus 6, 'cause Heidi would so cry if her face weren't frozen in place.

Kristin is, like, mad that Brody Jenner is flirting with Audrina Patridge. We love Brody, but why keep recycling the same three guys as fake love interests? Minus 7.

Lame Shades

Hard partying Kristin denies she's got a problem.

Wearing sunglasses indoors doesn't make you look cool, Kristin. Minus 4.

Nice of Stephanie to make it out of rehab in time for filming. Plus 3.

Heidi tells her fam they "live in the mountains and wouldn't understand." LOL, as if Crested Butte, Colo., were some backwards, classless, hillbilly dump. Plus 11.

This isn't related, but Spencer Pratt is reportedly on the outs with the show after he refused to start a physical fight with Holly Montag. Yes, Spencer Pratt. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +10. The "reality" of The Hills is always debated, but it more or less on display last night, and we know this because we cover the cast's actual lives daily.

We much prefer episodes like this, whatever the annoyances, to absurd, contrived plot lines such as Speidi's baby argument or Kristin and Justin Bobby "dating."

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

  • Staged Intervention
  • Stacie n' Kristin
  • Hills Girl Talk
  • Oh, K-Cav
  • Brody Macks Audrina
  • A Montag Moment
  • A Confrontation
  • Heidi's Mom is Pissed
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