Spencer Pratt

On The Hills Tuesday night, Spencer Pratt threatened to call the cops on Holly Montag if his wife's sister didn't leave his property. Idle threat? Apparently not!

Police were dispatched to Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's home just hours ago after the couple called for help, saying Heidi's mother was refusing to leave.

Heidi confirmed this to TMZ: "My mom just showed up to the house unannounced ... after what she did to me on national TV, I have no desire to see her."

Montag is referring to a recent episode of The Hills in which Darlene Egelhoff said point blank that she did not approve of her daughter's plastic surgeries.

This week, Spencer claimed Darlene "tried to rape Heidi emotionally" and called her "just a vagina" who brought Heidi into the world, but is not special.

Heidi Montag is done with her mom's emotional abuse!

Heidi notified her personal security team when her mom showed up "pounding on the door." Darlene spoke with the police but has now left the premises.

She continues, "Her showing up is completely out of line and psychotic. I’m getting a restraining order against her." No arrests were made in the incident.

Los Angeles Police Department Sgt. Leffew said:

"Officers arrived on the scene and advised the mother that since her daughter is an adult, she doesn't have to speak to [the mom] if she doesn't want to. The mother said 'fine, no problem' and left. There were no citations or arrests."

Heidi Montag promises this isn't the end of all the drama: "I made it very clear that I want nothing to do with her in my life right now," she tells People.

"I'm sick to my stomach she would even do something like this. She needs to stay away from me. I’m planning on getting a restraining order against her."

Heidi Montag's mom, Darlene Egelhoff, isn't smiling right now.

The Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, featured prominently on the show since 2006, may be leaving it before the series finale later this summer.

Neither has taped an episode since mid-April.

A big reason for that? Spencer Pratt was suspended from the show after threatening to kill a producer... never endears you to the production department.

Rumors also suggest Heidi Montag's "role was reduced" after she objected to a faux-divorce story line. They wanted her to fake divorce Spencer? Shocker!

Show creator Adam DiVello, who Montag recently accused of sexual harassment, "doesn't think Heidi and Spencer will come back for the series finale."

We suppose this isn't too shocking, or sad. If this week's The Hills was any indication, their behavior is growing increasingly erratic and out of control.

HAPPY TRAILS: Are the increasingly erratic Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt ready to fly the coop before The Hills even ends? [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Moreover, Heidi Montag wasn't invited to a secret May 6 powwow DiVello had with the female cast in Santa Monica, Calif., to "brainstorm the series finale."

NOTE: That's right, the producers "brainstorm" episodes. Of a reality show. Can it get any more ridiculous than that? They don't even pretend anymore.

"All the girls were asked to come up with ideas of how the show ends," an insider tells Us. Among the ideas: a trip to Costa Rica for the 100th episode.

Another idea? A future Sex and the City–style movie sequel.

"He wants The Hills to end on an upbeat tone," a source tells Us Weekly of DiVello's plan. "He wants to prove to the audience that the girls are going on to bigger and better things and that the show was good for them."

In the case of one cast member, it was pretty terrible for her. We think anyone who's seen the Heidi Montag plastic surgery pictures will agree with us.

Last night on The Hills, it became clear that Spencer Pratt is losing it. Sad about the show ending? Getting increasingly desperate for anything that makes news?

Either/or. In any case, they are supposedly hoarders now.

For the very first time (not that anyone wondered), Heidi and Spencer are letting us into their “unkempt and unsafe home” in Pacific Palisades via Life & Style.

According to sources, Speidi has been residing in this place, not their luxurious Hollywood home as seen on The Hills, for the last few months. And it's gross.

A source supposedly close to the couple claims: “The living room is filled with Spencer’s mess, which Heidi often has to clean up. Spencer lines the window with crystals, which he believes will keep bad spirits out but keep Heidi locked in."

LOL. Spencer and his crystals. Soon it'll be crystal meth.

CELEBRITY HOARDERS: Whether that's true or not, Spencer and Heidi Pratt are growing increasingly ridiculous, even by their standards. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

If that doesn't sound unbearable enough to you, Spencer himself reveals that the couple are not living alone in squalor. They have a roommate! Pratt explains:

“It’s true, I have a Marine in the house. He’s helping me write a script."

Mmmkay. He adds: "And yes, we’ve been out of the house only three times this month, but that’s because I’m busy working on several business ventures.”

No word on what those are. But clearly, one of his tried-and-true ventures - making up ridiculous stories to feed to Life & Style for free PR - is still effective.

It's certainly a lot cheaper than paying to have the face/body of Heidi Montag consistently altered, too. Gossip is harmless. Keep up the good work, man.

The third episode of The Hills' final season reintroduced Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari as lovebirds. Because ... they used to date and we're out of other options?

Last night's episode, "Elephant in the Room," found these two pondering a staged reconnection, while he also pondered his supposed "crush" on Audrina Patridge.

Meanwhile, Spencer Pratt absolutely went off the rails at Holly Montag. Below, The Hollywood Gossip breaks down all the Hills action with its trademark +/- scale:

Kristin doesn't know if she likes being around Spencer. Does anyone? Plus 3.

Brody on Audrina and Ryan getting serious: "Whatever!" Brody is apparently a 'tween girl. Minus 4, because he's also being forced to care about Ryan by MTV.

Brody and Kristin are meant to be ... MTV decided this week.

We said this yesterday, but if you're parents to a seven-year-old, is there anything worse than a party thrown by Speidi? Were Tiger Woods' mistresses busy? Minus 5.

Audrina and Ryan are at the bowling alley. Audrina talks about Brody Jenner, her past and adds that Brody now has a crush on her. Ooh, the fake plot thickens! Plus 6.

It's time for "the talk" with Ryan. Plus 2, 'cause Ryan is just excited he's landed this gig on The Hills and retained any level of fame. Remember when he was a singer?

Audzo says every time she calls Heidi, Spencer is right there. Kristin Cavallari says Spencer is controlling her. Minus 3 for the girls being three years late to that party.

Spencer, when asked where Stephanie is: "I have a sister?" Plus 10.

Spencer, when Holly Montag dares defend their mother, Darlene, for speaking her mind about Heidi Montag's plastic surgery: "You can leave my property." Plus 11.

Spencer Pratt is seriously losing it.

Ryan wants their relationship to be drama free and the "best relationship ever." Dude, you're fake dating a girl on The Hills. That's not happening. Minus 27.

Brody calls Enzo's party the most awkward of his life. So true. Plus 9.

Kristin Cavallari asks Brody about Audrina over a drink in a typical, staged Hills discussion where they pretend to be conflicted about relationships. Minus 19.

Spencer Pratt, ever eloquent, repeats his earlier claim that Heidi's mom is "just a vagina" who let Heidi come into the world, but is nothing special. Plus 40.

As Holly leaves, Spencer shouts at her that he'll call the cops next time. "Keep walking ... Nobody wants you in Hollywood." Okay, that's enough. Minus 12.

TOTAL: +11. SEASON: +51. Boring as the Kristin-Brody-Audrina "drama" is, Spencer made this episode of The Hills. Dude has serious issues. We love it.

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

The first season of The Hills seems like ... well, five seasons ago.

Back then, when Heidi Montag was the bubbly, slightly annoying but harmless BFF of Lauren Conrad, things made sense. Times were easier, and they were good.

Fast forward to May 2010 and the surgically enhanced Stepford Wife knockoff can't barely move her face to utter MTV's fake dialogue after all those operations.

In tonight's episode, Heidi gives Spencer Pratt what seems like a pleasant greeting: "Hi honey! Good to see you!" Only she sounds like a robotic, Barbie cyborg.

Having hired a planner to arrange a party for Enzo, the little kid MTV hired to give her baby fever last season, Heidi Montag must still be hurting from surgery.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt visited a U.S. Marine Corps base earlier this week. Sadly, they were not part of target practice. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Seriously, the girl's face cannot move. At. All. Meanwhile, Spencer Pratt's crystals (see last week's episode) clearly aren't working, as he's about to blow a gasket.

These two need psychiatric help, and soon.

However much money Enzo's parents got paid to subject their child to Speidi, it wasn't nearly enough. What party theme could possibly be worse for a little kid?

Okay, maybe One Night with Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods' Cocktail Waitress Paradise and The Tattooed White Power Regions of Michelle McGee would be worse.

Follow the jump for a clip from tonight's episode of The Hills ...

Heidi Montag's mom is facing a serious real estate issue.

Not only is Spencer Pratt unmoved, he's pretty psyched!

Darlene Egelhoff learned that a Colorado bank is foreclosing on an piece of property she owes, claiming she owes $187,385.62 on a $189,000 loan from 2006.

Reached for comment by TMZ, the ever diplomatic Spencer Pratt had no idea, but said simply: "If that's true ... that is the best news I’ve heard all day long."

Spencer still holds a grudge for how Darlene handled post-surgery Heidi on The Hills Season premiere, and for the fact that she exists. He doesn't like people.

Heidi Montag's mom honestly assesses her daughter's plastic surgery on The Hills. Spencer honestly assessed Darlene's financial issues - he's rooting for the bank.

This was probably the biggest, most recent catalyst for his bitterness, though. If you recall, Darlene said Heidi's plastic surgery was heinous and made Heidi cry.

Hey, the truth is going to sting sometimes.

In any case, Spencer wasn't done going off on Darlene, and added, "Anybody who would do what she did to her daughter – my amazing, beautiful, magnificent wife Heidi – on national television,  should be put in a straight jacket."

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

Heidi Montag wouldn't really get plastic surgery, would she?

Okay, she totally would, but we still don't know if we buy the Life & Style Weekly cover story, which claims she "plans to risk her life again with another surgery."

The magazine quotes Spencer Pratt as saying she wants to increase her breast size from 700 cc's to 800 cc's. We don't know what that means, but sounds icky.

"She wants to do it within the next two months and film it for a new show she and Spencer have been pitching to cable networks E! and Oxygen," an insider says.

Even crazier? Heidi's looking to have the surgery done in Europe, and Spencer insists he's already doing everything he can to keep her away from plastic surgery.

It's a daunting task.

The lure of being voluntarily mangled is just too strong.

"I try to stop her," Spencer tells Life & Style. "She wants her doctor to come over once a week to plump up her lips. I keep telling her that they're big enough."

So what put her over the edge and allegedly "drove" and "forced" her to seek more surgeries? Spence says it was an off-the-cuff remark by Ryan Seacrest.

"When Heidi entered the studio, Ryan told her that her breasts didn't look that big," Spencer said, saying she misread the host's attempt to downplay things.

"She was taken aback," Spencer says. "She came home in shock."

The incident confirmed the outrageous fear she'd had since her plastic surgery addiction reared its head in November: that her breasts still aren't big enough.

Okay, look. We've seen enough Heidi Montag pictures to tell you this from an objective, and well-informed viewpoint. Heidi, we hate to inform you, but:

Yes they are. They are hilariously huge fake boobs. Enough, girl.

Heidi Montag looked/looks hotter ...

The second episode of The Hills' final season focused on nasty rumors and the b!tch who started them. Yes, we know that applies to pretty much every episode.

Lauren Conrad's non-sex tape and Speidi's involvement in spreading that story took up multiple seasons. Is Kristin Cavallari's "drug problem" the new version?

Last night's episode, "Rumor Has It," found her singling out Stephanie as the rumor culprit. Below, THG breaks down the action using our patented +/- scale:

Kristin on Stephanie Pratt and why she'd start rumors: "Because she's crazy, she's a pathological liar, she has nothing going on in her life." All true. Plus 15.

Stacie the Bartender is still around. Does Kristin not have any girlfriends the network didn't create for her? Is Stacie the Bartender her full name? Minus 4.

Brody Jenner: "[Steph] made up these rumors because she is a crazy person. With her past drug addiction, maybe she's mirroring herself." Deep. Plus 7.

Cocaine. It's what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Stephanie and Lo read about Kristin's drug use from gossip tabloids and thus think "she is definitely doing drugs," which is hilarious on many levels. Minus 3.

Kristin throws a party to "get to the bottom of this." Or because MTV told her too. Plus 2, because amazingly, the whole cast will be there, including Speidi!

Minus 9 for the lines fed to Brody about Ryan Cabrera and the fake conflict over Audrina. Metrosexual cracks are cliched, and why the eff would Brody care?

LOL, Ryan does look kind of d-bag-ish, however, so Plus 3.

Heidi Montag is, like, excited to debut her new body. Her fam didn't love her new look, but friends think she looks great. Psst ... they're getting paid. Plus 7.

What is Lo even doing on the show at this point? Minus 4.

Stephanie starts to make small talk with Spencer Pratt, but gets so choked up and starts to cry. Spencer berates her. How awesomely dysfunctional. Plus 5.

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Dismayed by family issues, Spencer is carrying around crystals to channel his anger and bring life "peace and balance." What a ridiculous human being. Plus 12.

Kristin says she really doesn't want to be friends with Stephanie because she just likes to create drama. That and 100 other reasons make sense to us. Plus 3.

Nice to see Charlie adopting the Justin-Bobby look. Minus 6.

What's more fake, any dialogue featuring Stephanie and Kristin or Heidi Montag's ginormous, hilarious fake boobs? No points, just throwing that out there.

TOTAL: +30. SEASON: +40. This was The Hills at its best and worst, all at the same time. So much contrived, but entertaining nonsense to go around.

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

You never can tell when Spencer Pratt will redefine the standards of shamelessness - and right now he is dead set on capitalizing on the Jersey Shore craze.

Not sure what it says about The Hills that he's focusing all his efforts on another show on the same network, but this is Spencer Pratt. Nothing is a surprise.

He and Snooki's ex-boyfriend are looking to trademark on a Guido-themed energy drink ... seriously. We kid not. Sounds like the best/worst product ever.

Pratt and Emilio Masella acquired trademark rights on the name "Guid-o-Juice" - for drink products from energy-fueled concoctions to herbal remedies.

He says the venture is "what's soon to be the most popular Guido energy drink in the world." Sure thing, man. Look for a plug on Fist Pumping for Love.

KING OF THE SELLOUTS: Yep, Spencer Pratt will do just about anything for money and/or attention. So lame, yet he does it so unabashedly and hilariously.

Emilio Masella was recently dumped by Snooki via voicemail. It was sad.

Fortunately, the Gold’s Gym trainer is mending his broken heart the best way anyone can - by jumping right back into the dating game, and reality TV universe, with the assistance of The Hills star Spencer Pratt.

Spencer's production company, Douche Pratt Productions, is teaming up with Emilio Masella on a new dating show, Fist Pumping for Love. LOL.

It will Jersey Shore star Snooki’s ex as he travels the country “in search of love.” There you have it, the first official Jersey Shore spinoff idea.

SEE YA, SNOOK: Emilio seeks a "real" guidette.

“It is the perfect partnership for me as a growing player in reality television,” Spencer Pratt said in a statement. Of Emilio Masella, he added:

“You haven’t seen nothing yet.”

“I am tired of these fake Italian girls,” says Masella, who dated the controversial Jersey Shore star (real name Nicole Polizzi) for four months.

“I want a real guid-ette who can speak Italian. We are prepared to search from Hollywood, Calif., to the streets of Howard Beach in Queens, N.Y.”

We can't wait to watch.

Filming started Wednesday night in Masella’s local bar and continues this weekend in the Long Island club Glow. Spencer’s plastic wife and The Hills costar, Heidi Montag, is also listed as an executive producer of the show.

BLING-BLINGIN' IT: Spencer's getting a bit desperate these days, no?