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Presumably, like Laguna Beach graduate Talan Torriero and Nicole Scherzinger, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag enjoy riding one another.

Apparently, though, they're enjoying another ride even more - the one that makes them household names despite their lack of redeeming qualities.

Gimme Kiss!

If you thought the bikini photos of her frolicking on the beach were cheesy, or if you thought his campaign to free Paris Hilton was the last you'd hear of him for awhile… you don't give Heidi Montag or Spencer Pratt enough credit.

Wearing matching turquoise tops, The Hills power couple was out for a day of fun and staged photos at the Santa Monica Pier Thursday. Spencer got a photographer to catch Heidi and himself in a completely spontaneous moment of fun once again. What are the odds? 

The looks on their faces say it all. Heidi Montag wants so badly to be an actress and look the part - blonde, beautiful, fun and oh-so-scared of a roller coaster's plunge! OMG! Yay!!

Spencer Pratt, meanwhile, is flat-out loving every second of his brief time in the spotlight and coming up with new PR schemes to get famous as we speak. He's so focused, he can't even open his eyes.

As for Heidi's new fake boobs? Well, they just aren't used to the rapid movements of a herky-jerky amusement park ride. They didn't sign up for this!

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If you know anything about Spencer Pratt, you know he has never been one to shy away from a PR-generating, attention-grabbing scheme.

It's not surprising, then, that the dirtbag villain from The Hills has joined the lame Free Paris bandwagon with a "Free Paris" MySpace page.

Two Dumbasses

The pseudo-celeb told told Us Weekly that when he's not frolicking on the beach in staged photos with plastic girlfriend Heidi Montag, he's been leading the fight to free Paris Hilton.

Just about anything makes for a better cause than that. Even convincing Heidi to get a boob job.

But Spencer Pratt is all about publicity.

"I've always thought the punishment should fit the crime," says the repulsive Spencer.

"[Paris Hilton] has changed her image dramatically over the last couple years. Now she's such a good role model and a smart businesswoman. So it's a shame that a miscommunication between her and her people is landing her in jail. She should get probation with community service, but no way should she be put in jail with real criminals."

Spencer Pratt claims that once 100,000 supporters sign his online petition he will take up the harlot's plight with Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

Good luck with that.

Speaking of people reinventing their image, Spencer Pratt is looking to go from a reputation as the slimy guy in the gold chains who masterminded Heidi ending her BFF-ship with Lauren Conrad to being only nutcase crazy enough to lend support to a slutty, spoiled DUI offender.

Terrific. Again, isn't there a better cause out there? Like freeing Sean Preston?

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Frolicking in the surf.

Play-fighting. Making out.

A Speidi Smooch

Showing off her new boob job from every possible angle.

Clearly, in case you didn't know by now, Heidi Montag loves attention - and will go to great lengths to get it along with her boyfriend, Spencer Pratt.

A new batch of Heidi Montag pics have surfaced, and in them, she and Pratt act like they're having a great time on the beach - completely unbeknownst to anyone else, of course.

In reality, though, The Hills' most nauseating couple might as well have been standing there mugging for the damn camera.

Hell, Spencer Pratt probably paid some dude to show up and take these clearly-staged shots. Friggin' loser.

Would you put it past a guy who appeared in a Kevin Federline video?

We wouldn't. All we have to say is that we're glad some reality TV stars, such as Heidi's ex-BFF Lauren Conrad, don't resort to such annoying means to thrust themselves into the spotlight.

For more on the complete waste of oxygen that is Spencer Pratt, and to see more of his girlfriend's expensive new body, follow this link for more Heidi Montag bikini photos ...

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At our weekly staff meeting this morning, the celebrity gossip writers at The Hollywood Gossip collectively decided that we don't ridicule Kevin Federline enough.

That may seem hard to believe, but since Britney Spears went bonkers, we've been forced to laud K-Fed's efforts as a father and focus on what a decent fellow he really is at heart.

Assault Weapons Ban

But that doesn't mean we can't continue to mock his music "career." Anyone even remember when he was trying to be a rapper? His first performance told it all, it seems. Predictably, it was a short-lived venture. One replete with awful music.

We bring this up not only because K-Fed's entry into the music biz is unintentional comedy at its best, but because we've learned that the one and only Spencer Pratt (yes, the Devil himself) has a cameo in his music video for "Lose Control."

Here's the video for "Lose Control," as rapped by the self-proclaimed America's Most Hated. Laugh, enjoy, and look for Spencer Pratt - another guy America has come to love to hate (on The Hills) - around the 49-second mark.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atLJ2BxGIkE[/youtube]

Special thanks to RealityTVScoop.com for the tip about Spencer Pratt appearing in this masterful, legendary work of hip-hop art.

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With the exception of a former colleague who defrauded its writing staff out of at least $20,000, there's no one that enrages The Hollywood Gossip more than Spencer Pratt.

Fearing Swine Flu

Similar to Paris Hilton, the guy is famous almost strictly by association, boasting absolutely no redeeming qualities and contributing nothing to society, yet seemingly parlaying that into fame and a rather lucrative career.

It's the American way. One can at least give Spencer Pratt (pictured with girlfriend Heidi Montag) credit for exploiting his position and achieving a certain level of stardom. But how well do you really know the emerging star of MTV's The Hills?

He's one of the least sexy men alive, and one that Lauren Conrad undeniably hates. That's about all we've got.

But our celebrity gossip writers are inquiring minds here at T.H. Gossip, so we set out to discover more about him.

He was featured in the reality TV show The Princes of Malibu, which followed the Jenner kids (Brody Jenner and his brother, Brandon) as well as their bitch tag-along buddy, Spencer, as they... well, do nothing all day but bother David Foster and his superstar clients.

Follow the link to learn more about Spencer Pratt ...

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The rumor that The Hills star Lauren Conrad and her ex-beau, Jason Wahler, filmed a secret sex tape that was to be released to the public took the celebrity gossip world by storm earlier this month.

It turns out there is no tape, and last week, we found an interview with LC's former BFF, Heidi Montag, and her obnoxious, ugly boyfriend, Spencer Pratt - both of whom Lauren Conrad believes are behind this.

Lick It Good

This morning, Us Weekly has a new interview with Pratt and Montag, who further discuss their own relationship since Season 2 of The Hills concluded, as well the Lauren Conrad sex tape scandal.

Us: Heidi, Lauren said didn't contact her after news broke about the tape. Your take?

Heidi Montag: "It's astonishing that she would say that. I guess she forgot that I was in the hospital that week. Maybe that would explain why she didn't call to see how I was doing."

THG NOTE: Heidi Montag got a boob job and a nose job April 2.

Us: Spencer, did Lauren's split from Brody Jenner makes things tricky?

Spencer Pratt: "Lauren couldn't get into clubs before she met us! We were her ticket to Hollywood. As soon as the double dating stopped, she was out. She has trouble as third wheel, and that's what she was when Brody didn't want to keep seeing her."

Continue reading this interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt ...

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Yes, you read that right. Forget Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney and their annual battle for Sexiest Man Alive honors. This battle is for the complete opposite (dis)honor.

This list, compiled by the amazing Boston Phoenix, is chock full of irritating smirks, bad haircuts, possible murders and some seriously ugly mugs. Yup, the Phoenix list of The 100 Unsexiest Men Alive has it all, and we've got the highlights...

Stupid Speidi

100. Tom Cruise. The heat that Tom Cruise emitted early in his career has long evaporated, leaving only a smirking corpse in its wake. Cruise struts around like a smaller, yappy version of Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator, but comes off creepier, given his campaign to impregnate and wed enslave hot actresses.

92. Osama bin Laden. Here's a man that could use a makeover. Note to Osama: camouflage jackets have been out since the millennium. Sure, there's not a surplus of hip outlets â€" or even dry cleaners â€" in the caves of Afghanistan. But come on.

87. Joe Simpson. The former Baptist minister relentlessly pimps his daughters (Ashlee and what's-her-name) to MTV, John Mayer and Pete Wentz, then makes ourskin crawl by ogling his offspring's endowments. Gnarly.

79. Joe Francis. Skeezy creator of Girls Gone Wild stuck it to Paris Hilton and Tara Reid. If doing that disease-ridden duo wasn't enough to warrant his place on this list, he's headed to jail on contempt-of-court charges.

56. Kim Jong-Il. Besides an uncanny resemblance to Tom Cruise, the deranged North Korean demigod is a porn connoisseur, binge drinker and womanizer. Oh, and a mass murderer with nukes.

45. The Duke Lacrosse Team
. You go to Duke. You play lacrosse. Yet your social life is so barren that you've got to rent a couple of cut-rate strippers? You dudes are guilty... of having no game whatsoever.

35. Kevin Federline. Would've placed even higher had Britney Spears not gone off the deep end and made FedEx look relatively stable by comparison.

33. Spencer Pratt. This obnoxious star of the MTV "documentary" series The Hills (left) has greasy hair, a veiny neck and forehead, circa 1994 gold chains and a cast-iron jaw. Yet he still manages to get Playboy playmates' numbers (while straight up playing Heidi Montag and making Lauren Conrad's life a living hell). Spencer Pratt, we loathe thee.

30. Howie Mandel. Few things are less sexy than obsessive-compulsive disorder and fear of touching others. That spells bad news for the freaky host of Deal or No Deal. No deal, Howie Mandel. No deal.

28. Dustin Diamond. Deviant, cretinous former child star who scammed his fans by selling shirts to help him avoid foreclosure â€" there were no such proceedings against him. Then there was the Dustin Diamond sex tape in which Screech gave two skanks the Dirty Sanchez.

27. Mr. Blackwell. His relevance is on life-support, but he nonetheless makes the news every year with his embarrassing list of the best- and worst-dressed celebrity fashion offenders.

25. O.J. Simpson. We're not even gonna go there.

23. Pete Doherty. "Heroin chic" is predicated on being able to do lots and lots of drugs without looking like a skid-row pin cushion. Somehow Pete Doherty (below) didn't get the memo. By association, he made coked-up gal-pal Kate Moss unsexy, too, for which men the world over will curse him forever.

20. Jared Fogle. Ubiquity and over-exposure has turned a merely annoying ex-fatty Subway pitchman into a serious pain in the ass.

18. Mel Gibson. Hateful director with massive alcohol problem.

11. Perez Hilton. Exponentially overhyped celebrity gossip blogger whose sense of entitlement far outweighs his contribution to society. Oh yeah, Perez Hilton is also gross.

7. Sanjaya Malakar. The class clown of American Idol is operating under the delusion that he's the class stud. Shyamali Malakar, on the other hand...

6. Don Imus. Long before Don Imus (below, left) got the ax for calling the Rutgers womens' basketball team a bunch of "nappy-headed hos," this talk-show troll established himself as one of the ugliest faces in an industry that prizes them.

3. Howard K. Stern. We understood the zillion-year-old billionaire: Anna Nicole Smith would sleep with anything for money. But her dalliance with this glassy-eyed salamander of a man (above, right) forced Americans to lower her standards: she'd screw anything with... kidneys? At least she was smart enough not to have a baby with him.

1. Donald Trump. It's not the greed, the preposterous comb-over, or the public bullying that turns us off any more: it's the pursed lips and the scrunched stare. Actually, scratch that: it's still the hair, the greed, and the bullying.

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Spencer Pratt. Our readers know how we feel about this rich loser from The Hills.

We hate him! Sharing that sentiment, along with most viewers of The Hills, was a fellow celebrity gossip site, which unlike The Hollywood Gossip, was able to swallow its pride and request an interview with Spencer Pratt himself. The man and his lame gold chains complied.

King and Queen of Gossip

The interview below - which Heidi Montag (following her new boob job) also takes part in - may shock you in that Spencer is, at times, not 100 percent annoying.

It's more like 65-75 percent. So rather than wanting to gouge your eyes out with a butter knife, you'll merely shake your head in minor irritation.

Below, the stars chat candidly about their life together, Heidi's strained friendship with Lauren Conrad (and budding friendships with Audrina Patridge and Whitney Port) as well as plenty of other things we didn't see on The Hills....

Q: People have pretty strong opinions and perceptions about the way you are both portrayed on reality TV. How accurate is the portrayal and what do you think is the biggest misconception that viewers have?

Heidi Montag: People don't know every side. It's a reality TV show about several people's lives. It's accurate of who we are, but sometimes the situations can be misconstrued. It is 20-minute, edited drama. They can't show everything.

Spencer Pratt: Heidi and I had just started hanging out when the show started taping and we really liked each other, but all of a sudden I was considered to be her boyfriend. We were flirting all the time, but following the rules of being single. We were both seeing other people at the same time. We were both players - she was playing the game with me. Heidi has game!

Heidi Montag: One of the first nights I saw Spencer at Area he showed up with [Audrina Patridge] and I hadn't talked to her all summer. I was so mad that she came to the club with him. I really liked him that summer.

Spencer Pratt: I did show up with Audrina - because Heidi changed her phone number on me!

Continue reading this interview here ...

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On April 5, Lauren Conrad received a shocking phone call.

No, it wasn't from Jason Wahler looking to get his ass bailed out of jail. Though the stunning call she received did pertain to her loser, arrest-prone ex-boyfriend.

Lick It Good

A friend called LC to tell her about a report on the celebrity gossip site PerezHilton.com claiming that Wahler was looking to sell a sex tape featuring the pair.

"My friend started reading the item to me, and I literally could not breathe," Lauren Conrad tells Us Weekly. "I thought she was joking when she started telling me."

Though Perez Hilton tells Us that he confirmed the tape's existence with "multiple sources close to Lauren and Jason," the star of The Hills denies the report.

"Honestly, they videotape my life five days out of the week. I don't need additional footage, you know?"

Whomever leaked the story seems to have a vendetta against Lauren Conrad.

Among the possible culprits? Sources close to Conrad are pointing fingers at her former BFF and roommate, Heidi Montag, and her a$$hole boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, who was Conrad's nemesis throughout The Hills.

The Laguna Beach native and reality TV star notes that Montag was the one friend who didn't reach out after news of the alleged tape broke.

"This has literally been, like, the worst week ever," she said. "And someone who's supposedly my friend didn't even call or text me."

Oh. Snap. Those be fighting words. And not entirely undeserved, seeing that Heidi apparently has time to get a boob job, but not call or text LC. Lame!

Nevertheless, the accused pair deny any wrongdoing.

"It's sad someone would make up something like that, and even sadder people think we had anything to do with it," Spencer Pratt said.

"I feel horrible for Lauren, but I had nothing to do with spreading that false, disgusting rumor," Montag concurred.

While we can't say for sure who leaked the story about the sex tape, we're confident
it wasn't Whitney Port. Is that girl a sweetheart, or what?

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Spencer Pratt.

Few words, phrases or individuals have ever enraged the Hollywood Gossip staff to this degree. OMFG. Has anyone ever deserved to be rolled up in a carpet and thrown off a bridge more than this a$$hole? The next time we see you at Hyde or Les Deux - yes, we go there, Spencer Pratt, and we will be watching you - you better grow eyes in the back of your head. We'll leave it at that.

Dweebs For a Good Cause

That should give you an idea of how the season finale of The Hills went last night, but we'll delve into further details for you just the same.

For a show that's supposed to star Lauren Conrad, there's a lot of stuff happening to people around her as she sits at home on the sofa reading (but still looking very fashionable, we might add).

Not that we're upset. We love the new Lauren Conrad who's emerged this season and doesn't take any crap. But in Season 3, let's have the girl do something. You heard us, MTV.

From the onset, the homebody LC bombarded one-time BFF Heidi Montag with zingers over her wishy-washy should-I-live-with-Spencer nonsense.

"You don't even live with me," Lauren Conrad snapped. "I just live with your stuff."

We knew what Heidi's decision was going to be for two reasons: She's weak, and the previews gave it away. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. The other person actually out doing stuff was Whitney Port, jetting off to NYC to interview for the permanent Teen Vogue job.

Wonderful as always, Whitney knocks 'em dead in the interview, but we're left hanging as to whether she beats out the other intern applicants. Cross your fingers, Hills watchers!

Okay, now we talk about what a psycho move it was for Spencer Pratt to get a new apartment after Heidi Montag clearly said no, then take her there as "a big surprise" and beg for her to move in again. And she did. Sellout.

Back at home, Heidi dropped the news to LC that she'd be moving out - a boring conversation so anticlimactic after all the talk about it that we almost clicked over to The Bachelor. Only we had it TiVo'd, so there's no point.

Over at the condo of Brody Jenner, Spencer was explaining that he really just wanted to keep Heidi away from Lauren and reassuring his buddy that he's a player 4 lyfe, yo, and would not be denied just because Heidi's movin' in!

The guy needs to be beaten repeatedly with a tire iron and strangled with his own retarded looking gold chain. You're not cool, bro. No one wears those.

We would leave it at that if it weren't for a brilliant exchange between Heidi and her co-worker, Elodie (what kind of name is that, and what do they actually do at work?) about Heidi's plans to cook dinner for the amazing Spencer that night.

Elodie: Do you even have all the equipment to cook? What's it called?
Heidi Montag: Dinner?
Elodie: No.
Heidi Montag: Pasta?
Elodie: No. The equipment to cook, like, pots, pans.
Heidi Montag
: Oh, I have to go get all that.

Lauren, meanwhile, was celebrating the conclusion of the epic roomie drama with champagne and pizza ... and her brand new roomie... Audrina Patridge!

We weren't big Audrina fans at first, but she's come around. In short, this episode was a complete waste of time, in that there was no drama and nothing new was revealed. But we love The Hills just the same, and can't wait for the next season with the girls.

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