by Free Britney at . Comments

Don't ever count them out. Just when you think the bar can't possibly be lowered any further, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag take the celebrity photo cake again.

There's nothing like a staged photo shoot designed to look like candid but which actually depicts two D-list media whores shamelessly begging for attention.

Gross Speidi Smooch

Anyway, here's a nice Spencer-Heidi picture for your mockery enjoyment, in which The Hills' most-hated dude poses with a pair of melons. And some pumpkins!

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: Good, wholesome October fun.

We will say this, though. Spencer Pratt is significantly better at getting paid for these "spontaneous" photo shoots than he is at running his own website.

by Free Britney at . Comments

We'd tell Spencer Pratt not to quit his day job, but since this apparently is his day job, he should probably just get a whole lot better at it.

Everyone knows the conniving, pimply star of The Hills doesn't have game with the ladies. Turns out Spencer's writing and web management skillz are similarly bad.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are Tools

Spencer Pratt's official site consists of the same photos and snippets of articles you have already seen on Us Weekly and a hundred other celebrity gossip sites like this one. Wow! Really creative stuff, dude. Such insightful content!

Moreover, the links on his site are black... against a black background, making them impossible to see. Spencer also showcases his impressive 9th grade reading level with headlines such as "Us Magazine: New cover onstands now!!" Combine all this with a heinous design and Pratt earns a solid D+ in blogging.

The only thing saving it from an F, in case you were wondering, are some of the comments correctly pointing out the suckitude of Spencer and Heidi.

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After weeks of standing on the sidelines and weighing in on her friends' romances on The Hills, the lovely Lauren Conrad finally got a little action herself - at the birthday party for her ex, Brody Jenner, in Las Vegas.

After a surprise arrival in Las Vegas for pal Jenner's birthday, LC gave her hunky ex a birthday kiss, and then later, some "just-because" kisses. Sexy!

Paparazzi Mobs Perez, Speidi

While we don't think these two are officially back on, that Lauren Conrad sure is cute when she gives people those flirty eyes, don't you think?

Credit for their possibly rekindled romance has to go to Brody's bud, Frankie Delgado, who seemed to spend a lot of time convincing Lauren Conrad that the reason she and Brody used to fight was - what else - the presence of Spencer Pratt.

Speaking of Frankie Delgado, he got some action himself - from LC's namesake pal, Lauren Bosworth, a.k.a. Lo. The highlight of the night was a tipsy Lo falling over and flashing her friends, to which Lauren replied, "I just saw Lo's Britney!"

Yup, it was all good in Las Vegas... except for Justin Bobby. The boyfriend of Audrina Patridge (real name Justin Brescia), J-Bobby didn't say two words the whole time, despite the girls' efforts to engage him in conversation.

When Lo and LC confront Audrina regarding J-B's unwillingness to, you know, act like an adult and speak, Audrina lets them have it, saying "Okay, I'll blow him off, I'll never see him again, just to make you guys happy... I'm done!"

The high drama of the night goes to Heidi Montag's co-worker, Elodie. Still pissed over Heidi's promotion, she quits. Then, on her last day, Elodie agrees to cover a big event for Heidi, who wants to celebrate her anniversary with Spencer.

In one of the biggest, funniest, passive-aggressive bitch moves in Hills history, Elodie says sure, she'll cover for Heidi, knowing damn well she won't even be working at the company by that night. Details, right?

As a result of Elodie's mean maneuver, Spencer and Heidi's romantic dinner at Don Antonio's Mexican Restaurant is cut short when she gets an urgent call that the event she is supposed to be running is not staffed by... anyone!

Oh snap! Next up? If you thought the Lauren Conrad sex tape drama was over ... you were right. But that won't stop everyone from pointing fingers at each other regarding who spread the rumors in the first place!

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Despite scenes of the couple registering for silverware on Monday night's episode of The Hills, the great Spencer Pratt says that a wedding gift registry currently bearing his name on the Internet is, sadly, not his.

"While a couple can never have enough cheese serving sets, sadly, that's not our registry," the pimply one told Us Weekly.

Yes, apparently some prankster is registering for $425 Tiffany & Co. silver salt and pepper shakers, among other lame things, in the names of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Not surprisingly, though, guests don't seem to be in a giving mood, as none of the items on the list have been purchased.

Maybe at some point, Spencer Pratt will actually tell his parents that he's going to get married to Heidi Montag. That is, if this is not all a huge sham.

If they do post their real registry online, maybe Spencer can try to get family and friends to help defray the cost of Heidi's plastic surgery, or help him buy a ring that's not a knockoff. Or help him by some anti-acne cream. We could go on.

by Free Britney at . Comments

That's the focal point of this drama-filled episode.

In her continuing efforts to forge a friendship with her former flame, Jason Wahler, star Lauren Conrad wasn't exactly expecting to learn that ...

  1. He has a new girlfriend.
  2. Oh, and they're living together.
  3. They're engaged! Surprise! Woo!

Jason drops bombs #1 and #2 during a lunch date with LC, inviting her to a housewarming party thrown by himself and his new gal. She accepts.

Only when Lauren and Audrina Patridge attend said party do they learn the full extent of Jason's relationship with Katja Decker-Sadowski.

The big moment comes when a drunk frat guy offers a toast - with a plastic cup of beer, just pumped from a keg - to celebrate the engagement of Wahler.

Lauren's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

Her heartbreak and complete shock evident, LC feigns happiness for a time, though later she confides to Jason that "I think you're being an idiot."

After all, he's only 20 years old and still in a recovering alcoholics program that recommends he not date anyone... let alone get engaged to someone.

A calm Jason Wahler just rolls with his ex-girlfriend's criticism, though, and is clearly happy with Katja Decker-Sadowski, a tennis player at USC.

The highlight of the night came when a clearly jealous Katja interrupted Lauren's during her heart-to-heart with Jason on the deck, heaving herself on Wahler's lap in one of the most awkward moments in Hills history. What a bitch!

Whitney Port, Lauren Conrad

Left: Jason and fiancee Katja Decker-Sadowski. Right: LC and Whitney.

The next day, Lauren Conrad reflected on the events with a cooler head, saying "this could have been me ... but as much as I love Jason, I'm glad it's not!"

She also noted that she's dreamed about the day gets engaged and it doesn't involve plastic cups of beer and Bob Marley posters. Same here, Lauren!

In other news, Whitney Port drops the ball a little at Teen Vogue when she is in charge of a photo shoot for a band, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, but goes out and parties with them late the night before and everyone shows up late. Fortunately, her editor, Lisa Love, only gives our girl a slight reprimand and tells her to step it up.

Lastly, the loathesome Spencer Pratt is not psyched about registering for wedding presents. Or telling his parents that he's engaged to Heidi Montag. The episode ends with Spence's sheepish admission that his folks don't even know... despite the fact that he's a media whore who appears on a well-known reality show!

Thoughts? Feelings? Comments? Sound off in our Hills forum.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag of The Hills suck so much as it is, it's hard to imagine worse things than being subjected to a party thrown by the two.

Unless you were to throw Perez Hilton into the mix.

That's exactly what went down over the weekend as Spencer and Heidi - along with their romantic gondola ride in Las Vegas of course - celebrated in style at the clubs. Which is interesting, since they used to do that before she was 21.

Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt and Perez Hilton: The trinity of pain.

Heidi Montag turned 21 on Saturday, the very same day that Lauren Conrad's fashion line officially debuted. We were, like, OMG, so excited for the latter!

Oh, right, this is a post about Heidi's birthday party. Club-goers out on the scene report that "Heidi and Spencer were in a festive mood at LAX, downing Veuve Clicquot and passing out flutes to random people in the crowd."

No word on whether later that night, Heidi Montag played another kind of flute. Made of skin. Speaking of which, Perez Hilton was on hand to complete this first meeting of the Team Heidi fan club. It's okay, you gotta start small sometimes.

Spencer Pratt should have Perez hang out with them more, for sure. He may be the one of the only men alive who makes him look attractive by comparison.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Back her weekend away with the bumbling Justin-Bobby (Justin Brescia), Audrina Patridge announces that the volatile couple is sooo back on.

Lauren and Whitney, meanwhile, discuss the development at work the next day, where Whitney teases an obviously concerned Lauren Conrad.

Heidi Montag Pratt Picture

"They probably worked it out on their own," Whitney Port chides at her friend, adding, "no need for everyone else to get involved!"

Then none other than Jason Wahler calls, and Whitney shoots Lauren a look of disapproval over LC's decision to answer that Blackberry.

Jason takes Lauren to dinner at the new L.A. hotspot Ketchup, a place owned by none other than Paula Abdul boy toy J.T. Torregiani.

Wouldn't you know it, Spencer Pratt just happens to be taking Heidi Montag to that very place to celebrate her promotion at Bolthouse.

After Jason and Lauren share some awkward moments of nostalgic flirtation, the drama starts to go down when a sarcastic Spencer spots them, and says "It's great to see you guys back together, really, it's heartwarming."

LC restrains Jason, who wants to go over to their table and start $h!t. But the needling Spencer sends over a water and a Shirley Temple over to their table, prompting Conrad and Wahler to leave - and get heckled as they do.

Spencer's take: "I wonder if she picked him up in rehab or jail?"

Heidi's take: "After everything she's been through with Jason, and me... who was there for her, through all that hell, is the one she won't talk to... it's baffling."

Jason's take: "Who cares about them?"

Lauren's take: Not a lot, but she gave Jason Wahler SERIOUS kiss-me-now eyes when he drops her off afterwards. Damn, girl! Fortunately, J doesn't make a move. Lauren is really desperate for some loving, guys. Make a move!

Elodie's take: "What exactly did you do to her that makes her not even want to accept a drink from you? And also, you know, you were also friends with Audrina, and she doesn't talk to you anymore. You were friends with Whitney too. You don't even know what's wrong and what's right anymore. It's so sad!"

Oh. Snap. Clearly Heidi Montag's "all business" defense doesn't fly with Elodie, who's still bitter over losing out on that Bolthouse job and pretty damn sick of listening to Heidi whining and bossing around her new assistant.

by Free Britney at . Comments

With absolutely no idea there are cameras nearby, Spencer Pratt holds on tight to fiancée Heidi Montag during a romantic gondola ride Sunday...

Ah, Venice. That Spencer Pratt is the ultimate romantic.

Of course, not unlike Heidi's engagement ring, their gondola ride was a knockoff - it took place at Las Vegas' Venetian Hotel, rather than the Italian city. What a loving relationship, though. The gondola operator's face seems to say it all.

Still, it's nice to see The Hills star's 21st birthday was celebrated in some way other than the unveiling of the Lauren Conrad fashion line.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are not listening to Jason Wahler.

The man who swears he did NOT make a Lauren Conrad sex tape has told his former flame's former friends to shut the heck up. Instead?

Signing Autograph

Spencer and Heidi are featured in the latest issues of COSMOGirl! In it, The Hills stars give an interview entitled "What You Don't Know About Me & Spencer." It's nauseating.

It's also excerpted below, courtesy of Us Weekly:

Heidi on Spencer:
"I could start crying right now when I think about being without Spencer."

Spencer on Lauren Conrad:
"Lauren is the show's Goody Two-shoes. Heidi is portrayed as the wild, goofy friend who is going through all these experiences that they can't have Lauren go through because she is the sweet, innocent character. But sometimes she's the craziest one of us all."

Heidi on being the bad girl:
"It's like I was the good girl on the show until I fell in love with Spencer, and then I became the bad girl. But they don't show the footage of how Lauren was sort of obsessed with Spencer, or how she called my mom in Colorado and told her I was involved in an abusive relationship, or how she would scream at me in the middle of the club if I wanted to leave at 2 a.m. to go see Spencer."

Heidi on Lauren being needy:
"I spent a lot of time with her during her breakup with [Jason Wahler]. I was there for her every day and night when she cried, and I have been there for her through some horrible things you never saw on-camera. No matter how much time I spent with her, it was never enough. Lauren always wants to have a friend around."

Spencer on how his relationship changed after Heidi and LC stopped being friends:
"All I know is that once Lauren was out of our relationship, it became flawless. It was like I had this girlfriend who had this friend whose goal it was to break us up. Lauren's not dumb, and she knows how to get what she wants. She's got a really strong team of people around her; she knows how to work it."

by Free Britney at . Comments

"This is like... I feel like we're back in high school with this! How long have I been friends with you.... What a bitch!" - Brody Jenner

Ah yes, the sage wisdom of the great Brody Jenner. Try as he did to talk sense into childhood friend Spencer Pratt, he couldn't it get it through the oily one's head to cool it in regards to Brody's rekindled friendship with Lauren Conrad.

Buffoons

As a result, as Brody himself said, "Spencer broke up with me!"

That was the focal point of last night's new episode of The Hills, in which Lauren Conrad helped her ex-boyfriend (and possible friend with benefits) realize that life can actually be (gasp) a lot more fun without Spencer Pratt.

A stunning revelation, we know.

At the episode's onset, however, the focus was on Audrina Patridge and former flame Justin-Bobby (real name Justin Brescia) who had drifted apart in the last episode, only to get back together again in a true reality TV stunner.

Justin-Bobby tells Audrina that he's "hesitant to put labels on things" and wants them to become "best friends" before lovers, then accuses Audrina of being too sensitive.

Riiiight. Lauren Conrad's take? "[Audrina] wasn't being over-sensitive. He was being over-a$$hole!" Said as only Lauren can. You tell her, girl!

Shortly thereafter, at work (yes, she has a job) Heidi Montag learns that Brody and Lauren have been hanging out again from her boss, club promoter Brent Bolthouse... at a staff meeting. Yeah, MTV doesn't stage this show at all.

Heidi was taken aback, and in typical fashion, Spencer reacted to the news with a sneer. Betrayal. It hurts. Almost as much as having to stare at Spencer Pratt's scraggly-ass blonde beard for much of the show. Take a shave, bro.

Meanwhile, at Les Deux, Brody and Lauren party - with her girl Lo and his boy Frankie Delgado. LC then invites herself over for an "after-party" at his condo. Both deny hooking up the next day, calling it just a "friendly sleepover."

Regardless, they're on good terms, and that's plenty enough for Spencer to shun his childhood pal. When Brody dials Spencer up to shoot the $h!t, Pratt rips him a new one for fraternizing with the enemy - and says that makes him the enemy.

Brody tries to explain, and calm him down, but it's a moot point. As we all know, there's no rationalizing with this conniving, insecure, acne-riddled Devil.

Spencer Pratt Biography

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Kiss The loathsome Spencer Pratt is a random dumbass who has gained celebrity gossip notoriety from being on The Hills as Heidi Montag's loser... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Spencer William Pratt

Spencer Pratt Quotes

Heidi Montag: Honey, I'm home.
Spencer Pratt: Oh, my favorite part of the day!

I would never watch that! I would rather throw up... but I know for a fact, and I would take a lie detector test.

regarding a Lauren Conrad sex tape
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