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Wow, you don't say! It's really a toss-up whether there are more Heidi Montag bikini photos than Britney Spears upskirt pics floating around out there.

Seriously, we've never anything like seen this before! The Hills' Heidi Montag is seen here reportedly films the music video to her new single Wednesday on a Malibu beach - with "fiance" Spencer Pratt doing the filming.

The couple supposedly wanted to save a little money on having a real music video produced, so Spencer Pratt took control of the camera. If nothing else, Spencer and Heidi had a fun afternoon filming scenes at the beach. How nice.

As usual, a celebrity photo agency was on hand to make sure dozens upon dozens of pics of Heidi Montag's body and large mouth made their way online.

Follow this link for many, many, many more photos of Heidi Montag posing (with her mouth WIDE open as usual) on the beaches of Southern California.

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What do you know, they're in the news again! Here, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt chow down for a good cause Tuesday at a Los Angeles-area Taco Bell.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt gobble up lunch... and the spotlight.

There to raise awareness for World Hunger Relief Week, The Hills co-star shared another piece of celebrity gossip: Her engagement is a sham website got hacked!

At least she said that's how it went down. After vehemently denying she and Pratt are the source of Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors, Heidi Montag's official website boasted, as of Tuesday morning, a confession that the pair spread the rumors.

That blog was later removed, and Heidi and Spencer again denied that they are responsible for rumors of the alleged LC sex tape. And so The Hills world turns.

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Just in case you were wondering at home: Spencer Pratt wants to be disgustingly rich (possibly even rich enough to buy a real engagement ring) ... but is also content entertaining viewers as reality TV's most hated villain.

"The bottom line is I'm making people react and ultimately not think about that we are in a war in Iraq and are trying to pick leaders," he says in the November issue of Radar magazine. "The Hills is a good breath of fresh air for people. I do not take it a little bit seriously. I'm an entertainer."

Stupid Speidi Picture

What Spencer Pratt does take seriously is his future, however.

"I'm trying to be a billionaire by age 30. Once you find an open market, that's where you can make billions to trillions of dollars," says the vile one.

Acne-riddled reality TV pests don't typically become trillionaires, at least to our knowledge, but you go ahead and believe that, Spencer.

The 24-year-old, best known as the despised fiance of The Hills co-star, Heidi Montag, also admits to political aspirations and tells Radar that while his antics are for show, his love for Montag is the real deal.

"She is an angel, I'm honored to be with her. People don't even know!" Spencer Pratt says of the 20-year-old "singer."

"I'm the new villain, and that's hilarious! It's so cool to be alive ... I would be on reality TV until I am 100. It's the coolest thing."

The talentless hack did not comment on Heidi's website getting hacked. But he did add: "It's cooler to have people come up and be like, 'Spencer Pratt' and know my name, than to be Orlando Bloom, who's famous for being some pirate."

And for a possible hit-and-run in which he allegedly walked away from the scene of a car crash. But that's neither here nor there.

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After a week absence that tested our patience, The Hills girls returned to bring Season 3's rising, soap-opera style tensions to a new high.

  • The subject of this week's drama: Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors.
  • The creator of the rumors (or at least the person bringing them up again, months later): Notorious troublemaker Jen Bunney.

Blame it all on the Bunney, indeed.

Lauren Conrad's fair-weather friend returned to The Hills with a vengeance last night, making that annoying ass pouty face and saying "like" and "um" more times than we can count. And blaming Brody Jenner for spreading those LC sex tape rumors that we thought simmered down months ago.

Of course, to any Hills fan, the theory that Brody Jenner spread sex tape rumors about Lauren Conrad sounds crazy. Where's the motive? This is a guy who won't say a harsh word towards anyone. And his alleged involvement in these rumors is a result of hearsay from - guess who - Heidi Montag.

Yes, Jen Bunney tells Lauren Conrad that Heidi Montag said Brody Jenner made up the rumors. Looks like she's just trying to take the heat off Spencer Pratt.

Traveling the way much celebrity gossip does these days - txt msg, omg - LC gets a message at work that Jen Bunney needs to talk to her. Small talk is not a big part of the equation here, as "Buns" is quick to drop the Lauren Conrad sex tape bomb, so to speak. Poor LC. She's just trying to move on and live her life!

Slightly suspicious of Brody Jenner, Lauren confronts the Prince of Malibu and he skirts the issue, reluctant to admit that he knows Spencer did it. But Lauren starts accusing him and finally he relents, stating that he knows "100 percent for a fact" that the loathsome Spencer Pratt is to blame.

Basically, this whole episode confirmed what we've known for months. You have to love The Hills, people, there's really no show like it.

In other news, Whitney Port was adorable (yet far too sparingly used) at the Teen Vogue offices, while Lauren apologized to Audrina Patridge for being judgmental about Justin Brescia (better known as Justin-Bobby) in Las Vegas.

He had a couple of good lines while shooting pool, although they may have to start giving him subtitles, because he mumbles too much to be understood.

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The Hills' Heidi Montag and her "fiance" Spencer Pratt spent Sunday supporting his friend (yes, he has some) during - what else - a polo match in Santa Barbara.

Spencer took Heidi to the Santa Barbara Polo Club to watch his friend J.W. Hall compete in the Wickenden Cup. Heidi Montag was certainly dressed to the nines... and conveniently, one of those agencies that takes pics of celebrities happened to be there to get America's favorite couple in different spontaneous poses.

The ridiculous pictures below speak for themselves. Here are Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag in all their polo-loving glory. Laugh, vomit, snicker and enjoy
. 

NOTE: There is only one horse's ass in this picture with Heidi Montag.

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The Hills? Fake? We never would have guessed that. But this could be the most glaring example yet. Our friends at CelebSlam have pics of Heidi Montag getting on a flight at LAX and then returning there ... about half an hour later.

The above set of pics shows the great Spencer Pratt dropping his girlfriend and her fake boobs off at the airport early yesterday afternoon. The below photos show Spencer picking up Heidi ... a little later in the afternoon.

It's a joyful reunion at the airport for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, who changed their shirts but are still wearing the same pants and shoes in each scene.

Of course, these pics alone doesn't prove a lot. Heck, our celebrity news writers can only afford one pair of jeans and shoes on their meager wages. But we certainly wouldn't dispute that these photos were taken on the same day.

Would it surprise you? It shouldn't. It also doesn't change the fact that The Hills is the ultimate guilty pleasure, and we're all just tuning in to watch the adorable Lauren Conrad go clubbing and to scream at Heidi and Spencer anyway.

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Don't ever count them out. Just when you think the bar can't possibly be lowered any further, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag take the celebrity photo cake again.

There's nothing like a staged photo shoot designed to look like candid but which actually depicts two D-list media whores shamelessly begging for attention.

Gross Speidi Smooch

Anyway, here's a nice Spencer-Heidi picture for your mockery enjoyment, in which The Hills' most-hated dude poses with a pair of melons. And some pumpkins!

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: Good, wholesome October fun.

We will say this, though. Spencer Pratt is significantly better at getting paid for these "spontaneous" photo shoots than he is at running his own website.

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We'd tell Spencer Pratt not to quit his day job, but since this apparently is his day job, he should probably just get a whole lot better at it.

Everyone knows the conniving, pimply star of The Hills doesn't have game with the ladies. Turns out Spencer's writing and web management skillz are similarly bad.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are Tools

Spencer Pratt's official site consists of the same photos and snippets of articles you have already seen on Us Weekly and a hundred other celebrity gossip sites like this one. Wow! Really creative stuff, dude. Such insightful content!

Moreover, the links on his site are black... against a black background, making them impossible to see. Spencer also showcases his impressive 9th grade reading level with headlines such as "Us Magazine: New cover onstands now!!" Combine all this with a heinous design and Pratt earns a solid D+ in blogging.

The only thing saving it from an F, in case you were wondering, are some of the comments correctly pointing out the suckitude of Spencer and Heidi.

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After weeks of standing on the sidelines and weighing in on her friends' romances on The Hills, the lovely Lauren Conrad finally got a little action herself - at the birthday party for her ex, Brody Jenner, in Las Vegas.

After a surprise arrival in Las Vegas for pal Jenner's birthday, LC gave her hunky ex a birthday kiss, and then later, some "just-because" kisses. Sexy!

Paparazzi Mobs Perez, Speidi

While we don't think these two are officially back on, that Lauren Conrad sure is cute when she gives people those flirty eyes, don't you think?

Credit for their possibly rekindled romance has to go to Brody's bud, Frankie Delgado, who seemed to spend a lot of time convincing Lauren Conrad that the reason she and Brody used to fight was - what else - the presence of Spencer Pratt.

Speaking of Frankie Delgado, he got some action himself - from LC's namesake pal, Lauren Bosworth, a.k.a. Lo. The highlight of the night was a tipsy Lo falling over and flashing her friends, to which Lauren replied, "I just saw Lo's Britney!"

Yup, it was all good in Las Vegas... except for Justin Bobby. The boyfriend of Audrina Patridge (real name Justin Brescia), J-Bobby didn't say two words the whole time, despite the girls' efforts to engage him in conversation.

When Lo and LC confront Audrina regarding J-B's unwillingness to, you know, act like an adult and speak, Audrina lets them have it, saying "Okay, I'll blow him off, I'll never see him again, just to make you guys happy... I'm done!"

The high drama of the night goes to Heidi Montag's co-worker, Elodie. Still pissed over Heidi's promotion, she quits. Then, on her last day, Elodie agrees to cover a big event for Heidi, who wants to celebrate her anniversary with Spencer.

In one of the biggest, funniest, passive-aggressive bitch moves in Hills history, Elodie says sure, she'll cover for Heidi, knowing damn well she won't even be working at the company by that night. Details, right?

As a result of Elodie's mean maneuver, Spencer and Heidi's romantic dinner at Don Antonio's Mexican Restaurant is cut short when she gets an urgent call that the event she is supposed to be running is not staffed by... anyone!

Oh snap! Next up? If you thought the Lauren Conrad sex tape drama was over ... you were right. But that won't stop everyone from pointing fingers at each other regarding who spread the rumors in the first place!

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Despite scenes of the couple registering for silverware on Monday night's episode of The Hills, the great Spencer Pratt says that a wedding gift registry currently bearing his name on the Internet is, sadly, not his.

"While a couple can never have enough cheese serving sets, sadly, that's not our registry," the pimply one told Us Weekly.

Yes, apparently some prankster is registering for $425 Tiffany & Co. silver salt and pepper shakers, among other lame things, in the names of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Not surprisingly, though, guests don't seem to be in a giving mood, as none of the items on the list have been purchased.

Maybe at some point, Spencer Pratt will actually tell his parents that he's going to get married to Heidi Montag. That is, if this is not all a huge sham.

If they do post their real registry online, maybe Spencer can try to get family and friends to help defray the cost of Heidi's plastic surgery, or help him buy a ring that's not a knockoff. Or help him by some anti-acne cream. We could go on.

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