Spencer Pratt

Heidi Montag was a major diva at a recent Hills photo shoot.

That's not surprising in the least. What is a bit unexpected is that this report comes straight from the mouth of her husband and pimp, Spencer Pratt.

Monday, Heidi Montag showed up with four bodyguards and Audrina Patridge, Kristin Cavallari, Stephanie Pratt and Lo Bosworth were all "shocked."

She then "refused to take part in a group shot, even though she had agreed to it beforehand." MTV will digitally insert her in later, it was reported.

Spencer Pratt says of her alleged diva behavior, "It's all true," though he adds, "She was sick and she didn't even want to go to that photo shoot!"

PLASTIC PRINCESS: Heidi Montag's diva behavior on the set of The Hills can't even be explained away by Spencer Pratt anymore. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Montag posted a photo of her posing with six bodyguards. Pratt says her entourage is nothing new. "She always travels with security," Pratt explained.

When asked about her behavior on the set that floored her Hills co-stars, a source says that she replied, "I'm a movie star now!" Well, she wants to be.

She just finished filming her cameo on Just Go With It, which stars Jennifer Aniston, and apparently thinks she is all that now. No big surprise there.

As for Spencer Pratt, he's no saint himself, having been forced to take a six-week leave after "flipping out" on a female producer on the set of The Hills.

The final season of The Hills premieres April 27. If reports like this are any indication, maybe it's for the best that the long-running series fade to black.

Heidi Montag appears to be cupping some serious balls here.

We have no idea why, although they appear to be made of crystal, and we can only assume this odd photo shoot has to do with new "healer" manager Aiden Chase.

Dude probably has her believing in the spirit and body-redeeming qualities of them or something. Who knows. He sees dead people, so he probably knows what's up.

Here's the star of The Hills gazing into her (bleak) future ...

Heidi Montag's future looks awfully fake and plastic.

Nice to see the results of Heidi's 10 plastic surgeries on display in Malibu. Also nice to see that husband and fellow crystal enthusiast Spencer Pratt was able to get out of his anger management counseling session long enough to join her ass.

You could say that they're both ballers ... of the crystal variety. Whatever that means. Anyway, just click to enlarge more Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag pictures ...

[Photos: Fame Pictures]

Spencer Pratt is not retiring from The Hills to combat cyber threats, despite a hilarious, apparently serious report from People magazine Monday suggesting this.

The website cited a statement from Pratt himself claiming that he was joining the cyber security division at the American Defense Enterprise in the near future.

"All that stuff about him leaving The Hills to fight cyber crime is not true," an insider tells Us. "He is leaving The Hills for six weeks because he was asked to."

Asked to for what reason?

The source explains that Spencer Pratt recently "flipped out" on the set of the show after a female producer made a request to which the evil one objected.

GET A GRIP: Spencer Pratt will attempt to.

"He got so crazy that he screamed at [her], 'I should kill you for even asking me to do that!'" the source says, noting that she was "very rattled" by Spencer.

The producer filed a complaint with the show's top producers, who then threatened to kick Pratt off the show. Spencer's management offered a compromise.

"The show agreed that Spencer would leave The Hills for six weeks to do anger management training at home. If he completes it, he can return to the show."

He'll certainly have time to fit in the classes.

On top of his Hills leave, it was just announced that Pratt is no longer the manager for his wife, Heidi Montag, who hired some psychic "healer" nut job instead.

The Hills just isn't the same without Lauren Conrad. Take away the entertainment of Spencer Pratt and it's pretty much worthless ... which we'd better get used to.

The reality TV villain says he's leaving the show, and we think he's serious, to take his career in a surprising new direction: To protect America from cyber threats.

Seriously. People reported this.

"In the last few months I discovered a new passion and new purpose to my life," Pratt said. "With this in mind, I have decided to take a break from MTV's The Hills."

Now studying software engineering with a focus on encryption at USC, Spencer Pratt says he's off to work for American Defense Enterprises' cyber security division.

His first mission? Making sure all Heidi Montag pictures are secure!

Our first, and hopefully not last line of defense against hackers.

"Upon learning of President Obama's declaration that the 'cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,' I have decided to refocus my energy and resources to helping America," he says.

"My new mission is this: To do my part in maintaining the technological superiority of the U.S. military and prevent emerging technologies from threatening our nation's security as we face this and other unprecedented challenges."

That's ... awesome actually. But this is Spencer Pratt. He can't possibly be serious, right? Is there a reality TV crew on call to film him fighting cyber-terrorists?

"I am saddened to take this break from MTV's The Hills," he admits. "However I feel I would not be honoring my country if I were to continue when I have the ability and opportunity to assist our nation against these prevalent threats."

Pratt's wife, Heidi Montag, remains on The Hills. Spencer has also been relieved of managerial duties for Heidi, who's now using Malibu-based psychic Aiden Chase.

These jerks have met their sleazy match.

Heidi Montag and her husband are parting ways. Business-wise.

Having been managed by Spencer Pratt since she was 19 (five years ago), Heidi is replacing her pimp with Malibu-based psychic named Aiden Chase. Seriously.

"After the incredible experiences I have had healing my life and truly connecting to my dreams with healer intuitive Aiden Chase, I have officially asked him to become my manager," Montag says, apparently without any sarcasm.

"An intuitive psychic leading my team gives me an edge no one else has."

BIMBO SEEKS NEW PIMP: Spencer just got fired by Heidi.

"No longer is my husband the face of my business or managing my career," she adds. "I am going to have Aiden Chase help manage my new life and career in a very different and positive way with light and love. The time for change is now."

"Never mix business and pleasure. We are no longer Speidi but Spencer and Heidi. I am so excited for my future and the bright successes coming my way."

Don't hold your breath, babe.

Heidi said she made the move to "clear out the negative energy" around her. Call us crazy, but Spencer was the one trying to stop the plastic surgery binge.

Despite severing business ties, the gruesome twosome will stay married. Phew.

We don't know if we could handled life without these gratuitous photo shoots.

Stories about Spencer Pratt and his plastic wife keep on getting more ridiculous. The latest? The Hills' resident villain is addicted to crystal, allegedly.

Not crystal meth or Cristal, just ... crystals.

In an effort to find enlightenment (he's very spiritual), he's been seen with his favorite rock recently. Honestly, there are photos. Says Spencer Pratt:

“I am so addicted to crystals, it’s a sickness. I’ve spent $500,000 on crystals this year. I checked my bank account last night, and I have $203 left.”

Lies. But humorous ones at least.

We got nothing. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

During Valentine's Day, Speidi "hung out with our puppies and cuddled with our crystal. It’s supposed to bring love. There’s a whole science to this. I’m not crazy.”

No, of course not. Although he may be lying. We saw Speidi's Valentine's Day pictures, and let's just say it involved lingerie, chocolates and ... we're gonna puke.

As for the new fascination of Spencer Pratt, he might be overpaying at half a million for one crystal, according to an expert hilariously cited by Life & Style ...

“Certain crystals are associated with different types of energy, yes. But [$500K] doesn’t sound right to me. Most of our crystals range from $1 to $100.”

So he's either full of it or overpaid by about 5,000 times the market value. Somehow we'd bet on the former. Think how much plastic surgery that'd buy.

In Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt has his very own Reality TV Frankenstein, a wife he may give 25-30 orgasms a day, craft to his liking with countless plastic surgeries, and pimp to celeb gossip tabloids for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Pretty sweet deal.

It looks like surgery isn't solely a pastime for his plastic princess, however. A friend says Spencer is looking to have some work done on his ugly mug too.

After all, ever since Heidi Montag emerged from 10 operations in one day, she's been getting a lot of media attention, which was probably why she did it.

Really desperate and sad, but if you can get past that, it's also hilarious. Equally funny? That Spencer Pratt is considering following in her fake footsteps.

 PLASTIC PAIR: The gruesome twosome may get gruesomer still.

According to the friend, who spoke about the couple's obsession with plastic surgery, The Hills villain is looking into "lipo, chest implants and a nose job."

Chest implants?

Seems like a lot of time, money, and effort just to maintain C-list celebrity status. We realize that's what Speidi does, and always has done, but still ...

A little over the top, guys. You can probably stick to staged bikini and holiday photos and still earn a nice living. Minus any permanent disfigurement too.

Heidi Montag is very upset, or at least was very upset initially, with her recent round of plastic surgery, her husband/pimp/publicist Spencer Pratt claims.

The Hills star famously had 10 plastic surgery operations in one day, and despite claims that she loves the results, Spencer says she was far from pleased.

"She came out of the hospital and the only thing she was saying was that the doctor better hide," Pratt said at Pure nightclub inside Caesars Palace.

"She wasn't happy," Spencer reiterated.

The aspiring pop star says she had "no idea" how painful all the ridiculous cosmetic procedures would be. Eh, you asked for it, now live with it, girl.

On a recent trip to a Sin City club, The Hills star Spencer Pratt poses with a low-rent Las Vegas stripper. Oh, wait, that's Heidi Montag! Didn't even recognize her!

"The worst pain was actually my ears. I didn't know that was the most painful process and feature," Heidi Montag recalled of having her face pulled back.

Gross.

Not that it deterred her from having further work done. Next up? Those boobs. For the third time. "I didn't get them as big as I originally wanted," she said.

Added Pratt, "She doesn't stop talking about it." Does it seem odd that Spencer Pratt is the voice of restraint and reason? He's not egging her on like usual.

So how did the couple spend a romantic Valentine's Day together? "My Valentine's present to Spencer is going shooting at the gun range," Montag said.

Follow this link for their (nauseating) Valentine's Day pictures.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag never let a holiday go by without the obligatory photo shoot. Or the obligatory plastic surgery or 10 in her case. Just disgusting.

What would Valentine's Day be without a pimp treating his favorite ho to a romantic suite in the Ceasar's Palace resort, decorated by Frederick's of Hollywood?

Nothing, if you're Speidi.

The latest round of Heidi Montag plastic surgery was on full display in Sin City. As you can see, Spencer Pratt's cash cow is now more cyborg than human ...

As you can see in the photo gallery below (if you have a strong stomach), The Hills star received numerous gifts, including basques, a babydoll nightdress, heart embellished stockings, Champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Nauseating.

Later in the evening, Heidi and Spencer Pratt hosted a Valentine's bash at the resort's Pure nightclub. After that? You don't even wanna know what happened.

It likely involved Heidi Montag nude. Just saying. We don't have that here, but close. Click to enlarge this display of grossness from the gruesome twosome ...

"I hate my love handles. All the sit-ups in the world don't make a difference. Some girls say they actually like them because they can grab on to 'em to hug me, but I'd prefer a tight six-pack. Once, on the beach, my friend Kelly poked me and said sarcastically, you're really cut. Not funny."
- Spencer Pratt

Somehow, some way, a 17-year-old Spencer Pratt was named of YM Magazine's "Hunks in Trunks" way back in August of 2000. No wonder the mag folded in 2004.

As the quote above shows, the sleazy one had some body issues. Appropriate, considering the Heidi Montag plastic surgery debacles of 2007-2010 ...

"HUNKY" SPENCER: YM had great taste in guys ... not.