by Free Britney at . Comments

Below are some enlightening highlights from the world of celebrity quotes, courtesy of People magazine and other Hollywood news sources...

"Every day I have eaten ham and cheese sandwiches, I can't get enough of them. Wish they had these back in the States." - Jessica Alba

Karen Rodriguez, Naima Adedapo and Haley Reinhart

"To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It works. You do it once a year. Who cares?" - Simon Cowell

"I hope Santa Claus rapes your f%*king mothers." - American Idol reject Danny Noriega, in a special holiday video tape that surfaced this week

"I actually texted her. It was really sad. She must be going through a hard time." - Audrina Patridge on the death of Heidi Montag's stepbrother

"Models are back to what they were in the '70s: clothes hangers." - New America's Next Top Model judge Paulina Porizkova

"I'm so happy. I can't ask for anything more ... except big boobs." - Nicole Kidman on pregnancy

"I love everything she does. If she does a poop and I have to change the diaper, I love that!" - Salma Hayek, on her daughter with Francois Henri-Pinault

"I like Britney. Today, first we were dancing slow, and then faster and faster ... Then we did the fish-move and lots of other fun things." - an impressionable 5-year-old after taking a dance class with Britney Spears

"It's just rumors, man." - Adnan Ghalib on reports that he has been cheating on Britney Spears and sending sordid text messages to other girls

by Free Britney at . Comments

Credit goes to People magazine for this terrific collection of celebrity quotes from the past week. As you can see, many topics are covered ...

"Angelina Jolie couldn't be here - it's hard to find 17 babysitters on Oscar night."
- Host Jon Stewart

"Clothes!"
- Johnny Depp, on what he was wearing to the Oscars

"It's fun trying to get pregnant."
- Gwen Stefani

"I don't know a lot about balls."
- Ellen DeGeneres, to Heidi Klum, during a cooking segment on her show

Like Zac Efron, neither of these couples is actually gay... or are they?

"You had to be painting toes and blow-drying hair."
- Ben Affleck, on teaming up with Jimmy Kimmel to spoof Sarah Silverman's video with Matt Damon

"You know when you go around to your aunty's and the little chihuahua gets on your leg because they think it's something else? That's my relationship with Ryan. It's like: Off!"
- Simon Cowell, on how he gets along with American Idol co-star (and celebrity gossip presidential primary candidate / partner) Ryan Seacrest

"My cheeks hurt, I'm so happy."
- Drew Barrymore, on beau Justin Long

"I like Barack. He's like a great boyfriend. He's a great talker. You wake up the next morning and you go: 'I don't know how I took my clothes off.'"
- Sherri Shepherd, on Barack Obama

"It's double the love, and it's also double the crying and the screaming."
- Diddy, father of twins, giving advice to Jennifer Lopez