by Free Britney at

Simon Cowell has never been one to keep things to himself, but when his fellow American Idol judge, Paula Abdul, gets rambling, the surly Brit can't get a word in edgewise. Hence, he's relegated to wishing the ex-Laker girl would just shut the g*d damn hell up.

And wishing he could have a drink about now....

Karen Rodriguez, Naima Adedapo and Haley Reinhart

The fact that the show's poor, innocent contestants have to see and listen to Paula Abdul drunk is bad enough. But for Simon and fellow judge Randy Jackson, who have to sit next to her and put up with such nonsense night in and night out, the seemingly unending American Idol auditions must be hell.

We hope young beauties with substance abuse problems such as Tara Conner and Lindsay Lohan are watching this display. Lay off the booze, gals, or you might end up like this train wreck in about 10 years.

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