Simon Cowell

If you celebrity gossip readers thought Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack had a monopoly on Brittany-Simon news this week, well, you were wrong.

Never has Simon Cowell been one to shy away from speaking his mind, even when it comes to pressing pop cultural matters beyond American Idol.

The sometimes-surly, always dead-on Brit is offering up some career advice for Britney Spears, telling the pop star to "go home to your family."

In an interview with Good Morning America Thursday, Cowell said that Britney Spears is capable of saving her free-falling career because she's "still one of the most talked about pop stars on the planet."

"She has the X-factor because people want to write about her," Simon Cowell said. "She's not conventional, she's not normal."

No kidding.

At the same time, Cowell says Britney clearly "can't handle the tension and the pressure" that comes from being in the spotlight so she needs to take some time refocus herself at home.

"Lock the door, don't go out with your stupid friends, have some home-cooked food, get back your sense of reality," he says.

"Go lie in the garden, okay? And then say to yourself, 'There's more good in my life than bad. I'm still a rich, talented girl - now I want to get my career on track.' End of story."

Amen to that.

But the interview wasn't all about Jayden James' crazy mama. Simon Cowell also revealed why he believes Jordin Sparks is the new American Idol.

"Jordin Sparks was the most improved over the whole season," he says. "She didn't start the best but midway through, this was the girl who suddenly got momentum."

Still, Cowell feels that Sparks wasn't necessarily the one who deserved the title. "Melinda Doolittle should have won," Cowell said. "She tried the hardest, was consistently the best and had the best voice."

But Cowell's praise doesn't always have the intended effect and he knows it.

"I think about it now... whether I should have endorsed her as much as [I did]," he says. "I think it was the right thing to do."

Before American Idol fans hear the soothing voices of Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks tonight, let's listen to the cranky judge everyone loves to hate.

What does Simon Cowell have to say about this week's season finale, along with the futures of various past and present Idols?

On Finale Predictions
"I think they will both chose their favorite song from what they've done over the past 11 weeks â€" and I'm hoping [Blake Lewis] will do the Bon Jovi song because I thought it was his best performance. And I don't know what Jordin will do."

On Fighting with Ryan Seacrest
"It's rather like having a silly little dog who wants to jump up on your lap and you just swat the dog off. Occasionally in a very stern voice you have to say 'no.' And that's how I deal with Ryan."

On Melinda's Next Stop
"I don't think she should try and compete with too many of the R&B artists out there at the moment. I think she's more of a throwback to people like Gladys Knight and Tina Turner. And I think [Melinda Doolittle] should play to her strengths."

On Contestants Talking Back
"I encourage it. I don't think they do it enough because I think they all think they're going to be voted off if they're rude to me. I think it's the opposite. I think the more rude they are to me, the more votes they'll get. I think off camera they're going completely nuts complaining about me. Then on camera they're just smiling and I don't understand that. I think it should be two-way. If I'm rude to them, they're more than entitled to be rude to me back."

On Sanjaya Malakar Fever
"I would never want to be in a situation where we cast the 12 as just normal people because I think it would be boring. The panel is wacky enough and therefore I think the contestants should be a bit strange as well. And I thought the whole Sanjaya Malakar thing was hysterical. I'm happy now because he's out. I don't think I'd be happy if he was in the finals, so I can now be quite smug about it."

On Kelly Clarkson's New Record
Kelly Clarkson is not an artist who's in it for the money. She has a lot of integrity and this is a record she wanted to make. And I admire her for that. ... It's not as commercial as her last record, but any Kelly Clarkson record at the moment is a pretty good record compared to the competition because she's an incredible artist.

Does it really come as a shock that Simon Cowell isn't a great listener?

During an appearance recently on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, the American Idol judge admitted he's not always paying close attention to performances. So, just what is he up to as hopefuls sing their hearts out?

"I'm taunting [Paula Abdul] throughout the performance," Cowell said. "I'm saying to her, 'Try to say something interesting, try not to use the words mountain and lakes in your critiques because it's always: You'll climb mountains, you'll swim lakes, whatever.' "

But how can Simon judge contestants such as Chris Richardson if he's so busy bugging Abdul?

"I'll tell you a secret," he said. "I watch the dress run so I actually hear much, much easier what they really do sound like."

As for his American Idol picks, Cowell went with the favorites Jordin Sparks and Melinda Doolittle, but added:

"I wouldn't write off Blake Lewis or LaKisha Jones."

Thanks to People magazine for this great collection of the week's top quotes from the celebrity gossip world.

"Rosie O'Donnell has the sexiest, juiciest breasts."
- Tyra Banks, telling Conan O'Brien that she gave The View host a surprising squeeze (which she also once did to Katharine McPhee)

"That's showbiz, but it's not sad because I've loved it here and I love you guys and I'm not going away. I'm just not going to be here every day."
- Rosie O'Donnell, announcing that she's leaving The View

"I hate sleeping alone."
- Lindsay Lohan, who we would like to remind you is 20, explaining why she goes out all the time

"It's nice to be able to just date, because I had never been on a date in my life."
- Lance Bass, on being single

"I was kind of mildly disappointed that nobody went last week. I look forward to that point. Does that sound bad?"
- Simon Cowell, expressing his dismay that no contestant got booted off during the "American Idol Gives Back" charity special, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

"Yes, it sounds bad."
- Ellen DeGeneres, to Simon Cowell

"I figured that we're going to be lonely without you. So, Tim and I thought we should get busy and maybe make a little co-host."
- Elisabeth Hasselbeck, on The View, announcing she's expecting her second child, less than a week after O'Donnell announced she would be leaving the program

"I feel comedically sandwiched."
- Adam Brody, sitting between the host and comedian Garry Shandling, on Late Night with Conan O'Brien

"You can still have Indian food though, right?"
- Jon Stewart, asking Richard Gere about the controversy sparked after he publicly kissed Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty in India

Now that the Sanjaya Malakar dismissal from American Idol has had time to sink in, how does Sanjaya's most vocal critic feel about it?

"I was on a very happy plane last night. I miss him probably in the same way I miss my favorite horror movie. And I don't mean that nastily. I like horror movies," Simon Cowell said via satellite during an appearance on Thursday's The Oprah Winfrey Show. "A very sweet guy. Quite entertaining but a horrible singer. That was the problem."

During Idol's sixth season, Cowell had made little secret of the fact that he didn't exactly see a singing future for Malakar.

He criticized the 17-year-old's vocal ability almost as much as most guys complimented the legs on Haley Scarnato.

On Thursday, he also felt the need to reiterate his previous comments that he planned on quitting as a judge of the competition depending on how far Malakar made it.

"If he made it to the top three, I'm gone," Cowell told Oprah.

"But they wouldn't let me."

Considering the fact that he was far from a "Fanjaya," who is Simon now pulling for on American Idol? A couple talents came to mind.

"I have a soft spot for [Melinda Doolittle]. Very sweet girl. I like her," said Cowell. "Jordin was sensational this week. Chris I like because he's contemporary. But I'm a little bit worried about singing through the nose... My Top 3 or Top 2 would be Melinda, Jordin and I'm not writing off Lakisha."

In addition to having to suffer through several-too-many Malakar performances than he would have liked, Cowell said there's another aspect of Idol's sixth season that's been bugging him.

"I'm a little bit frustrated. I haven't had enough, 'Oh my God!' moments. I want to see a few more," he told Oprah, adding he thinks fellow judge Paula Abdul has become too sensible. "I love when she talks complete and utter rubbish. We haven't had enough of that the past few weeks."

We don't know about Simon, but seeing Sanjaya hanging out with Petra Nemcova was cause for an 'Oh my God' moment.

Let's give Simon Cowell a break, shall we?

The guy may have an acid tongue from time to time on American Idol, but he certainly didn't mean an ounce of disrespect to anyone involved in the Virginia Tech shooting tragedy from earlier this week.

Here's what happened:

On Wednesday's show, Cowell's critique of a song by Chris Richardson â€" in which Cowell accused Richardson of sounding "nasal-y" â€" was cut short when Richardson, after talking about his sound, offered a quick tribute to this week's campus event.

"My heart and prayers go out to Virginia Tech," said Richardson.

"I have a lot of friends over there. Be strong."

The camera then caught Cowell turning to fellow judge Paula Abdul and looking annoyed, replete with an eye roll â€" from there, the judge found himself on the receiving end of some heated criticism from bloggers and TV critics across the country.

This morning, Cowell appeared on the Ryan Seacrest KIIS-FM radio show, with the host saying:

"We've got to clear this up. There are these people on the Internet trying to make something of this story, and let's just be honest, no human being would be that disrespectful to anybody involved in that awful tragedy."

"No, of course not," said Cowell. "And the irony was that we discussed this before the show and wondered, What do you do in a situation like this when something terrible happens? Do you ignore it?"

The decision was made to have Seacrest send out thoughts and prayers from everyone at Idol to begin the show.

As for the criticism he's received, Cowell referred to it as "this crazy story that appeared that I rolled my eyes disrespectfully at Chris because he made the comment ... The truth was is that I had switched off at that point. I was ... saying to Paula, "What does he mean he was singing nasal-y on purpose? I didn't understand what he was saying."

Simon went on to say that the possible boy toy of Lauren Conrad was right to acknowledge the horrific events because he's from that area of the country.

We now hope this non-story is over with. And viewers can focus on what's truly important about the show: the hair of Sanjaya Malakar.

Music mogul Simon Cowell has blasted troubled stars Britney Spears and Robbie Williams for checking into rehab, insisting they have no idea of what hard life really is.

The outspoken American Idol judge recently visited an impoverished nation, and after witnessing the horrific conditions people are forced to live in, he believes Spears and Williams' problems pale in comparison.

Spears, who appears to have lost her mind, is currently in Promises in Malibu, Calif., following months of hard drinking and partying, while Williams is seeking treatment for an addiction to painkillers at The Meadows clinic in Arizona.

"This whole thing is a total indulgence. Britney and Robbie Williams need to get a grip," Cowell said. "I don't know what's going on in Britney's head, but my attitude is I couldn't care less. She should go back and live with her mum for six months."

"I went to a deprived part of the world recently... It really opened my eyes. You can feel sorry for yourself over the smallest things, but then you look at the world and you think, 'I've got nothing to complain about.'

"So when I hear about the Robbies and the Britneys checking into rehab, I think, 'I'll tell you what rehab is. Go to where I just went, where people are really suffering, and then you'll see just how good your life is.'

"I mean Britney Spears is not working in a coal mine is she? You are whisked to the studio in a very large limo, you are flown around in private jet, everyone will agree with you, and physically making an album is a doddle."

As usual, Simon hit the nail on the head. Much like when he came to defense of Antonella Barba. His comments about Britney may seem harsh, but hey, the truth hurts sometimes.

There's no doubt Britney could use six months out of the public eye, just spending time with Sean Preston and Jayden James. Don't hate Simon for saying what we're all thinking.

And you thought Simon Cowell was just plain mean.

Turns out the American Idol judge can be quite sympathetic when it comes to hot and horny contestants named Antonella Barba.

Cowell has weighed in on the controversy surrounding the scandalous photos of this hopeful singer.

"I think it's disgraceful that so-called friends would sell these pictures," he told People magazine at a Playboy Mansion party for the E! show The Girls Next Door and the launch of the new Ryan Seacrest-produced reality series Paradise City. "It's private property. I really, really have a problem with that â€" big problem."

Simon is one of the few males out there that have a problem with Antonella Barba pics. But we see his point.

Cowell also had a point to make about this year's batch of competitors.

"If you want to do as well as someone like Jennifer Hudson you've got to be great, and we're not seeing enough great, but they're getting better ...We're going to weed out the bad ones."

After last night, maybe Simon has a better opinion of a few Idol ladies. Melinda Doolittle, for instance, was mighty impressive.

Simon Cowell has never been one to keep things to himself, but when his fellow American Idol judge, Paula Abdul, gets rambling, the surly Brit can't get a word in edgewise. Hence, he's relegated to wishing the ex-Laker girl would just shut the g*d damn hell up.

And wishing he could have a drink about now....

The fact that the show's poor, innocent contestants have to see and listen to Paula Abdul drunk is bad enough. But for Simon and fellow judge Randy Jackson, who have to sit next to her and put up with such nonsense night in and night out, the seemingly unending American Idol auditions must be hell.

We hope young beauties with substance abuse problems such as Tara Conner and Lindsay Lohan are watching this display. Lay off the booze, gals, or you might end up like this train wreck in about 10 years.

Go right ahead and pencil in Celebrity Duets as a fall hit already. How come? Because it's being produced by the man with the golden reality TV touch.

Yes, American Idol judge and British blowhard, Simon Cowell, is at it again. TV Guide recently sat down and chatted with Paula Abdul's best friend ...

Q: You have to be over the moon about the talent you've gotten together for this show.
Cowell: Yes, we are. I've got to be honest with you, I truthfully did not think we were ever going to make the show, and I'll tell you why: We basically said to the producers, "If you can find us 10 legendary names for this show, we're going to make it, and if you don't, we can't." And I gave them a 10 percent chance of proceeding.

Q: Because this doesn't work if the pros are chumps.
Cowell: Absolutely. We had to have literally the best singers in the world, we felt, and I think they've pretty much done that.

Q: Will each week's performance night be taped, or broadcast live?
Cowell: That's a very good question. I think it's going to be shot as all live.

Q: And what's the judging setup? Who have we got?
Cowell: Well, I can tell you exclusively that we have just signed Little Richard. I'm really thrilled, we're very happy. We've also got [music producer] David Foster, and we have one more to fill. I think I know who it is, but it's not confirmed yet.

Q: I'm guessing it will be a female?
Cowell: Looks like it, yeah, and she will be well known. David was the first choice and then somebody said to me recently, "What about Little Richard? You'll never get him, but give it a go." Well, we've confirmed him. It's great news, and it all adds to the craziness of the show.

Q: Will the duets have to tackle different musical styles each week?
Cowell: Eventually, as the show narrows down, it will become themed. On the first show they're going to sing two songs each, so they will have to choose two different disciplines on the first night - like, an up-tempo song and a ballad, or a rock song and a country song. (The Gossip can't wait to see former WWE star, Chris Jericho, go country.)

Q: Will the pairings always be male-female?
Cowell: Not necessarily, no.

Q: Is there anything else that has not yet been reported? Any scoop?
Cowell: Yes, we just confirmed Gladys Knight as one of the singers.

Q: Aren't the celebrities going to get nervous now, seeing the heavyweights they'll be partnering with?
Cowell: Oh god, yeah. This would be hard enough if we were asking them to sing on their own. But add in the fact that you're singing with Smokey Robinson, Gladys Night, Patti Labelle .... It's a nightmare.